Ok, so here is the next update! This one was faster, and it's long! I haven't started with the next one so it might take a while, just wanted to post this one either way. I hope you like it! Please review!
Thanks for all your reviews by the way and I am feeling better!
*Note: This Chapter is more explicit so I would recommend to be more careful about it. Rating might be M. Skip the last two paragraphs if you want to make sure.________________________________________
Chapter Twenty-Eight: Forgive“Ready?” I’ve been off for 15 minutes now waiting for Luka. I’m at the lounge reading a journal.
“Yeah. I was waiting for you.”
“Well, I’m off. Come on, let’s get out of here before something else happens.”
“Ok.” I grab my coat, which was on the couch, and put it on. Luka leaves his stethoscope and coat inside his locker, removing his own coat from inside. We head out of the lounge and quietly walk to his car. Once inside I say:
“I’m starving.”
“Tell me you didn’t eat any junk food today.” He starts the car.
“I didn’t, but then again I didn’t have much time. Did you see the creeps that came in today?”
He nods and smiles. “Ok, is there something I’m missing here? I mean, you’ve been smiling and grinning all day!”
“Do I have to have a reason to smile?”
“Well, most sane people do. Come on, spill it out. What’s going on?”
“There is nothing going on. I’m happy we are going out to dinner.”
“Luka…!”
“Abby…!”
“You’re not going to tell me?”
“I’m being honest. I realized we should be enjoying this time by doing things together. Having dinner…”
“We have dinner almost every night together. That’s not it. Why can’t you tell me?”
“You really think there is something to tell?”
“Well, let’s put it this way… the ER was packed, Kerry was around making sure we cleared the board, Morris was acting like himself having stupid arguments with Albright, we had traumas rolling at least one per hour and you’ve been smiling non stop. Yeah, I think there is something going on! Please tell me what’s the secret? Because I was puked on, I lost three patients and I’m really not in the mood to figure it out.”
And now I’m getting angry. He pulls the car over and parks it silently, still not saying a word. And still smiling, though now I think it’s because of my rant. He takes the key of the ignition, removes his seat belt and turns around to face me. I’m looking at him intently.
“So?”
He sighs.
“Fine, you don’t want to tell me then don’t tell me.” I remove my own belt and when I’m about to open my door he reaches my hand. He starts fidgeting with my fingers.
“You really want to know?”
“Yes! For God’s sake, why would I be asking if not?”
Is he kidding me?“Ok, I’ll tell you. But I’m not sure why it’s such a big deal.”
“It’s a big deal because you’ve been smiling all day! And because you’re making it a big deal. Just tell me please!”
“Almost five years ago…” he stops and looks out the window “Remember Bishop Stewart?”
“Yes, I do. He died… Five years ago, already? Wow…”
“Well, I was thinking about him today. We had a talk before he died, about pretty much why I had given up on faith, on God.” He looks far away, thinking, remembering. “I was scared of letting go, I was scared of how to live and forgive after what had happened. But not only God, I needed to forgive myself for the choices I made. He helped me realize that. Though you were right when we broke up, I haven’t completely let go, I was holding on to something still. Partly…”
“And you are smiling because of that?”
Ok, now he’s definitely crazy.“I’m smiling because for once in my life I realize I have moved on, I’m no longer scared of the future without them but looking forward to have a future with you and the baby. It took me five years to get here, and I’m happy because I have you to share it with. And that’s why I’m smiling.”
My eyes are watery now and I can’t believe he said that.
Oh man… “Luka…” I whisper. He places his fingers softly on my lips.
“You don’t have to say anything. I want to share the evening with you and have some fun. Ok?”
I nod. The lump in my throat’s preventing me from emitting any sound.
How can he be so sweet? He gets out of the car and comes to open my door. I step out and we walk to the restaurant.
“Goodnight, Ma’am, Sir. Table for two?” A young man standing at the door smiles at us.
“Yes, please.” Luka says.
“Smoking or non smoking area?”
Luka looks at me and then adds. “Non-smoking please.”
“Ok, this way please.” He takes us to a small table secluded from the rest by a fish tank on a corner and next to a window with a view to the lake. The water was glimmering under the moonlight, and the sky is cloud free. So smoothing and relaxing.
Beautiful. “Someone will be shortly to get your order. Here is the menu in the meantime.” I remove my coat and leave it on the back of my chair along with my purse. I sit down.
“Thanks.” I take the menu and open it. What should I eat, everything looks appealing.
I look over at Luka, who is staring at his own menu attentively. He’s frowning, and then flips over the first page. After a while he does the same with the second one. Suddenly he looks up and smiles.
Oh God, that smile… I was staring, and now I know I’m blushing, I can feel it on my cheeks. I smile too and go back to my menu.
He’s looking at me… I know he is… Stop it Abby, let’s get something to eat. Spaghetti, ravioli… Oh I think I’m going to have vegetable ravioli… Now which sauce? “Good evening. Can I take your order?” the waitress says looking at us.
Luka’s eyes are once again on me. “I’m going to have some vegetable ravioli with tomato sauce, please.”
“And you sir?”
“I’m going to have the vegetable cannelloni with cream sauce, please.”
“Ok, what would you like to drink?”
“I’ll have a club soda.”
“And I’ll have a coke.”
“Ok, I should be right back with your order.”
“Thank you.” I hand her my menu and after she takes Luka’s she leaves.
I look out the window and sigh.
“You ok?”
“Yeah, a little tired. It was a long day. Look at the moon, it’s almost full.”
“It’s beautiful. I like how it reflects on the water. We could take a stroll after dinner if you want.”
“Yeah, that would be nice, though no muggers this time.”
Why did I say that? I look at him and he’s looking through the window still.
“I don’t think we should worry about them tonight.” He smiles and slowly his right hand finds mine on the table. Our fingers intertwine.
“Here are your drinks.” I look up to see the waitress back with our drink. “A club soda and a coke. Anything else that you’d like?” She places the club soda in front of me and then the coke next to Luka.
“No, that would be all. Thanks.” He says. The waitress leaves once again.
“So, you were saying you had a crappy day.”
“I’ve had worse…”
“Well, it’s not over yet, we could make it better.”
“Really? Any ideas on how to improve it?”
“I already suggested a few… I mean, dinner, a stroll… do you have any other ideas?”
“I’ll have to think about it.”
He’s grinning again and I’m doing the same. The waitress interrupts us with our food. “I hope you enjoy it.”
“Thank you.” I say and look at my plate. We eat in silence for a while, each one of us mesmerized with the delicious food.
Wonderful.“I assume it’s good… by the lack of conversation here.”
“Yeah, it was wonderful. I was really hungry.” My plate is empty by now.
“I can tell.” He says while laughing.
“Hey, I think I wasn’t the only one.” I say while pointing at his plate.
“There is still chocolate ice cream at your place, right?”
“You want ice cream as dessert?”
I nod. After he paid for the dinner we walk outside. We start walking slowly towards the lake. I wrap my arms around me, bringing my coat closer.
“Cold?”
“Just a little.” He comes closer to me and places his left arm protectingly around my shoulders. We keep walking in silence.
Five years since the Bishop? So much has happened since… and still so many things are still the same. “What are you thinking?” We’ve stopped walking and I didn’t even notice. We are standing by the lake. He’s embracing me from behind. I sigh. I turn around and look at his eyes.
“About how far we’ve come… five years ago, we were together but I don’t think I’ve ever been closer to you as I’m now.”
“I know.” His forehead’s touching mine.
“I can’t believe it’s been already five years. You were distant before the Bishop and I knew it had affected you somehow, I just didn’t know how.”
“Me neither. I was in some sort of denial back then. I was running away without getting anywhere.”
“I guess you can see it with other eyes now that it’s been a while.”
“Yeah… I guess we can.”
“So you forgave yourself?”
“I did, it took time. And so many things had to happen in between.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I don’t think I would’ve been able to move on if we hadn’t broken up the way we did. I know it’s awful to say this, but after we broke up I touched the bottom. In order to put myself together I had to move on. Africa helped somehow… I was going nowhere before.”
Is he talking about the car crash with the viper? And about the break up…“What I said that night…”
“What you said that night, as much as it hurt, made me realize if you believed that was a possibility then there had to be some truth on it as well. We tend to say things that we don’t mean when we are angry, but sometimes they also have some truth.”
“Luka…”
“Look, that night we said some nasty things. Now we both agreed we had forgiven each other, right?” I nod. “Ok, so then let’s not get over that again. I’m just telling you that it helped to know how you felt, even… if it was that way.”
“Ok.” He kisses me softly on the forehead.
“Let’s go home, it’s getting late and you are cold.”
The drive back home has been quiet. I can’t stop thinking about what he told me. He’s looking attentively at the road, his smile gone.
He smiled all day at the hospital and now he’s smile is gone. He forgot he was supposed to smile? I rather have him smiling… Come on Luka, smile again! We reach his apartment, he parks the car and we get out. Once inside the apartment I go upstairs and Luka goes to the bathroom. I grab a tank top and some sweat pants. I undress myself and put them on. I head to the bathroom after Luka comes out. He is still not smiling. By the time I crawl in the bed he’s already there resting on his back.
“Are you alright?” I ask him.
“Yeah, I’m alright. I guess I was tired too.”
“I think I’m going to leave the ice cream for tomorrow.”
He looks at me. “Are you ok?”
I nod. He pulls me closer to him. I rest my head on his chest. Beating, I can hear his heart beating. Steady and even, soothing me. My eyelids begin to close slowly. Luka’s right hand is caressing my hair, and slowly travels to my back. He kisses my hair delicately. I sigh. His hand reaches the hem of my top and linger on the small of my back. I wrap my arms tighter around him. I look upward and meet his eyes. He’s looking absorbedly at me. He smiles.
There you go, he’s smiling again. I smile. He leans forward and kisses me tenderly on the lips. Gently. We snuggle closer. This is nice, we should stay like this. He kisses me once again on the top of my head. My right hand is playing with his shirt.
“What time do you have to be on tomorrow?”
“Eight.”
“Did you put the alarm?”
“No.”
I turn around and grab the alarm clock off the night table. I program it for six-thirty. “Six-thirty, right?”
“Yeah.” I leave the alarm clock on the night stand again.
Luka’s breath is on my back. He hugs me closer to him, spooning me from behind. He removes my hair from my neck and plants a sweet kiss. His hands travel to my stomach, under my tank top. I smile to myself as he draws circles on my abdomen, embracing our baby. Finally, I turn around unhurriedly to face him. His eyes are closed, his lips moist and parted. I caress his cheek with my right hand. His stormy grey eyes meet mine. The room is dark but the light that creeps from the blinds illuminates his face in a soft golden sheen. His eyes are glowing in the dark. His lips come to meet mine in a tender kiss, slow kiss. I welcome it. We don’t seem to want to end it, break the connection our lips have established. His tongue finally parts my lips, questioning. Inquiringly. As if asking permission. His hand removes a strand of loose hair that’s fallen over my face. Ended, the kiss has ended. We look at each other, I sigh. His dark lashes flutter softly, his lips are tempting and delightful. He is beautiful. I gaze at the wonder piece beside me and I kiss him this time. I need his lips on me. I want to savor his rich musky taste. I want to be engulfed by his glorious scent. I kiss him this time, I need his lips on me. All over me.
I can’t get enough of him. And he doesn’t object. We part once more. A soft kiss on my forehead. A shared glance, and then our mouths come together, searching, exploring. A kiss is followed by another and another, each one more desperate.
How long can we keep this going? His taste is inimitable; a combination of deep, mahogany with a dash of spicy cinnamon. Tender and coarse.
He’s a living paradox. And the desire increases steadily. Hands; moving, seeking… warmth. The warmth traveling along with his hands to my belly, my back. His silk touch sends shivers down my spine. My hands roam through his chest, under his shirt. Accessories, clothes are just that. We don’t need them. Air needed to breathe. Stop, the kisses have stopped. He looks at me, asking, requesting permission. His hands start removing my tank top, gradually. There is no rush. Tonight there is no rush. It reaches the top of my head, flying through space, depositing itself gracefully on the floor somewhere in the room. His shirt comes off revealing his skin bit by bit, and joining my shirt on the floor. His hands are on my body, massaging, fondling. Gently exploring every curve, every valley. I feel myself moisten at his touch. He’s discovering places I never knew existed. I arch my back involuntarily thrusting my hips closer to his… He props himself on his elbows and looks down at me. Smiling.
We kiss, the need to feel is greater. Savoring the experience, the sensation. His naked chest on mine, his body pressed against me. His hands are wandering through my body, my back… they reach their warm welcome destination. Superfluous garments are withdrawn from our bodies joining the pile on the floor. The yearning is building around us, through us, within us. Naked, our exposed bodies meet, entangled. We embrace, we kiss, we converge, we join. We are one. Gasps, moans and pants follow. Hot. Chokes for air, the need to extinguish the flame building inside; me, him, us. It increases, grows, expands, concentrates. The feeling magnifies, amplifies. We shiver, tremble, we quiver. We come.