Thanks again for the reviews, I'm doing better now though I still didn't go to work today. So, anyway here is the next Chapter and as always I hope you like it!
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Chapter Ten: Santa's Unexpected GiftThe next morning I wake up to the smell of waffles. I get up and look for a robe inside the bathroom and walk out of my room to find Luka serving them into a plate.
"Hey..." I say.
"Hi... Merry Christmas... I was going to serve you breakfast in bed."
"We can arrange than in a minute..." I say teasing him.
He moves towards me and kisses me. My arms instantly find their way around his neck to pull him closer.
"Merry Christmas" I say softly once we part.
We are about to sit at the table when I begin to feel dizzy and sick at my stomach. And I remember
I'm still pregnant. Why is it that I was feeling alright when I didn't even know I was pregnant and now I'm feeling sick? Is it because I know? My thoughts are interrupted when he says:
"Want some syrup with your waffles?"
"I think I'm gonna pass. I'm not feeling well... Oh crap..."
Iran to the bathroom because I'm about to get really sick. Not even a minute later Luka is next to me holding my hair.
"Want some water?" I nod.
He gets up and goes into the kitchen. He walks back into the bathroom and hands me the water. We sit next to each other on the floor and I look at him.
"Nice way to spend Christmas, eh?" He laughs.
"Yeah, lovely" I say and smile at him.
After a minute or two he says:
"Better?"
"Yeah, I think I'm alright now. But I also lost my appetite."
"Well, you'll probably get it back soon."
And he was right, half an hour later I’m eating as if nothing had happened. After breakfast I go to my bedroom to get dressed while Luka does the dishes. I remember I left some tests inside the bathroom and decide to give it another shot. As I’m staring at the last test I hear Luka calling for me.
“Where are you? It’s time to open the presents...”
He opens the bathroom door and then
I have to say something…“Just making sure…” I say and then drop the last of the tests inside my sink.
He walks towards me and when he sees all the test inside it says:
“I think you can stop now…”
Ok, so I took 6 more tests but… Oh God… I’m pregnant! I still can’t believe this!“We could find the way to make it work… if that’s what you want.”
What I want? That’s the problem actually…
“I don’t know what I want…” I turn around to face him. “I’m 37 years old, if not now when...”
As I say that I close my eyes and try to avoid eye contact.
“You know how I feel about it…” I have to look at him now. “Everything happens for a reason” he adds.
“It scares me, Luka.”
I don’t think I ever told him I was scared before. I’m not sure what to do… He sighs and places his hand on my shoulder.
“Having it or choosing not to?”
That’s the point, isn’t it? Oh man! I can’t believe this… I don’t know. Both!“Yeah…”
There are moments when I think a baby with Luka would be great but then I just can’t help and freak out as well. It’s a person’s life we are talking about here. Actually three lives; the baby's, Luka’s and mine. I don’t know for how long I've remained silent but finally I say:
“You want to keep it, don’t you?”
He looks at me, after about a minute he takes my hand in his.
“Come here…” he whispers.
We walk out of the bathroom into my bedroom and we sit on the bed.
“I do want us to keep it but I also want you to be happy.” I can’t help but smile though I turn my gaze to the floor. “Abby, look at me” Luka’s hand takes my chin and makes me face him. “It’s up to you. Either way I want you to understand I’m here for you. You are not alone.”
I know he’s here but still there is so much more than us we are talking about. We are just starting a relationship. We’ve known each other for a while that’s true. We’ve even dated before and that’s also part of the problem. Will we break up again just like we did last time? And then I’m not sure where we stand. How am I supposed to choose something when I don’t know what I want! Do I see myself with Luka? I can’t have a baby if this isn’t going to work. I don’t know if I can be a mother by myself. And even if we stay together, Can I be a mother! For God’s sake…! My head is about to explode with all my insecurities when I feel Luka’s arms wrap around me and Ilet him hold me. His heart is beating against my ear soothing me.
“Thank you Luka” I finally manage to say something after a while.
He looks down and his lips meet my own.
“You’re welcome.” He whispers into my ear.
We stay like that holding each other until I say:
“What presents were you talking about before? You already gave me my present.”
“Well, there is one under the tree.” He’s smiling now.
“Really? But you didn’t have it with you last night.”
I start thinking,
he only had his coat and the snow globe I gave him when we came into my apartment.“Santa was here, didn’t you know?”
“Santa?” I have to smile at that.
Santa! It’s still Christmas after all. Hard to believe the world keeps going when you have a life changing decision to make.I get up from the bed and walk to my living room. Indeed there is a small green box under the tree. I bend down and grab it.
“Open it.” He says.
He had followed me from the room apparently and I didn’t even notice. I look around at him looking for an answer.
What can it be? The box is smaller than the one with the compass.
Why am I nervous? I sit down on the couch and Luka walks towards me. He finally decides to sit next to me. And I open it… I stare at the box ad then look at him…
What does this mean?“Luka…?”