Feels like tonight

[Joosje]

“Mommy!” A four year old girl in yellow pyjamas called as she ran towards her mum.
“Julie, shouldn’t you be asleep by now?” Abby sighed before lifting her daughter up and simultaneously dropping her bag on the floor.

“She couldn’t sleep until her mom was home, believe me I tried!” Lance stood up smiling, and Abby noticed the goodnight story clasped in his hand.

“You’re mommy’s little girl aren't you?" She cooed. "Where’s Joe?”

“In his room, doing his homework,” was Lance's reply.

“I’ll be right back Jules, go to bed and I’ll come say goodnight in a minute.”

“Okay,” Julie yawned, taking her dad's hand in hers and trotting off to her bedroom.

--/--

“Hey,” Abby looked at her son, who was doing his homework as he sat in bed, “it’s always better if you do your homework at the desk.” She said pointing slightly towards the table.

“I know.” Joe said sharply, without taking his eyes off the books before him.

“Are you still mad at me?”Joe nodded slowly and closed his book.

“You never called me again like you said you would,” he remarked.

“I'm sorry for that. I'm not blind Joe, I guess that you’re still mad at me because of your dad,” Abby said as she sat down next to her son.

“Mum? I want to know things about him.”

”I don’t know what you want to hear Joe. I mean, me and my dad weren’t close, absolutely not. I don't know what is important for you...” Abby started.

“What he is like? What does he look like? I just want to know things that kids normally know about their dads,” Joseph interrupted quickly.

“I don’t know how to describe him. It was so long ago since we were together.”

Congratulations Abby, you just lied to your son again. You know exactly what he is like. Why don't you know how to describe him? He’s Luka. It shouldn't be this hard.

“Maybe I could visit him then? If you can't tell me, I'll have to see him for myself. Maybe I can come next time you fly over to see him?” He inquired excitedly.

“Do you think that I should fly over there again?” Abby murmered, not sure if it was right for her to be asking her son such an important question.

“Weren’t you planning to?" Joe asked, "You are seriously considering leaving him there on his own?” He continued, a look of shock plastered across his face.

“I... don’t know!” Abby said, surprised at the maturity and content of Joe's words, “it just felt weird to see him and everything...”

“I want to see him mum. I want to meet my dad. Just because you weren’t close to your dad, it doesn't mean I don't want the chance to know my dad.”

“There's nothing wrong with that Joe. Sure, if you want to then we could visit him sometime but you need to sleep now and Jules too. I need to say goodnight to her.”

“I want to visit him soon,” Joe said as Abby closed his door softly.

--/--

“No… I can’t right now, I just can't okay?” Lance hissed into the phone, “maybe tomorrow I will be able to at lunch or something. We aren’t going to be disturbed then, I'll promise you.”

“Hi,” Abby said looking at her husband, who jumped at the sound of her voice.

“Uh... I need to go now. I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye.” Lance stuttered and ended his phone call, placing the reciever on the table. “Hi, it was from the office." He said quickly, gesturing towards the phone. "We were talking about the meeting tomorrow. Is Julie asleep?” He said, briskly changing the subject.

“Yeah, she is, after two goodnight stories that is!” Abby smiled.

“How was your day in Chicago?” Lance asked.

“Great. I think. It felt strange to be back there again, like I was in someone else life or something. Joe wants to see him, his dad.”

“Is that a problem?”

“Yeah, I don’t want to fly over there ‘cause if I do, if Joe and I do…” She started.

“No-one ever said that you have to fly over there, it might be difficult to explain to Joseph but don’t go over there unless you want to.”

“I can’t fly over there. If I do, I'll need to stay there for a long time. Luka needs to recover and I don’t want to just leave my family here.”

“This is hard, Joe should at least see his father but you don’t want to fly over there and… I can’t 'cause I didn’t know about Joseph’s dad until yesterday." Lance added sharply.

“I’m not gonna argue with you now.”

“Okay then. Do you want something to eat? A sandwich?”

“Nothing.” Abby said and her husband walked into the kitchen.

This day was so overwhelming I really didn't have the strength nor the energy to fight with Lance. We will argue though, someone needs to defend Luka. I need to defend Luka. It’s my fault. Everything is my fault, I caused everything. I ruined everything. I always ruin everything.

“Hun, can you answer my cell?” Lance said, “I’m almost drowning in water in here. I really don’t like our new jug!”

“I told you that it wasn’t the best jug that we ever bought” Abby called before opening the cell.

Before Abby could say a word a woman's voice was heard on the other end of the line.
“I never thought that you would answer” it said, “I’ve three hours to spare if you’re alone now.”

“Uhm..” Abby started before the voice in the phone interrupted.

“If you want, I can come over now, your kids must me asleep by now." There was a short pause, then, "Wait, you aren’t Lance, right?”
“No, I’m not Lance.” Abby answered slowly.

“Who are your then? ‘cause I think I called the right number”

“I’m Abby, his...his wife.”

“Okay, well just tell him to call this number when he’s finished with... with whatever he’s doing for the moment.“ The woman’s said, and Abby noticed her tone change from a happy one, to a more hateful, disgusted one.

“And you are?”

“Just tell him to call this number.”

“I won’t unless you tell me who you are.”

“I’m Amber, his…his...” The woman stammered, rambling slightly.

“His what? Co-worker? friend?” Abby interrupted.

“Girlfriend.” Was her response, then the line went dead.

“That Amber person was joking, right?” Abby said, her tone clearly uncertain.

“Who?” Lance asked as he stood up and set about mopping up all the water.

“Amber. I answered your phone, if you remember? She told me that she was your girlfriend.”

“That must be some kind of mistake, are you sure that she didn’t call the wrong number?" He asked, "and if she were my girlfriend, why would she tell you that?” He said smoothly, either he was telling the truth or he was very well practised at this sort of thing.

“So that was a lie? Abby pushed.

“So now you don’t trust me? Thanks Abby, that means a lot!" Lance growled, "what kind of marriage is it when you skip off to see your ex-comatose-ex, the father of your son, leaving me, your husband, here, and then come back and accuse me of having an affair!"

Abby's blood ran cold.
What did he mean with "your" son?

“You still don’t deny it.”

-

I felt for sure last night
That once we said goodbye

It was my turn to decide
I knew this was our time

[*Natalie*]

Great update
Can't wait to find out what happens

natalie x

[Real Dream]

I remember reading something similar somewhere else...don't remember...but I love it!

[lockhart]

awwwwwwwww I love this fic!
I read everything now and I lve it!

update soon,please!

[manu]

Update asap!

[helenh]

love it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Joosje]

Thanks for those lovely reviews!
--------
I never thought that I would be back in Chicago again. I never expected that I would move back here. That thought never crossed my mind. But yet I’m standing here, outside his apartment. I'm standing here like I’ve done at least a million times before now, and I'm thinking about how my life would have been if the car crash had never happened. That’s just wasted time. Just like the marriage with Lance. Six years of wasted time. He admitted it, and I thought that I would feel more hurt than I did. Sometimes feelings lie, but not this time. Perhaps my marriage to Lance was an attempt to get over Luka. I believed that I loved him, Lance I mean. I really did, but the pain I feel since our marriage fell apart is different. It’s not as deep as the pain I experienced twelve years ago. Things change and right now I don’t know what to feel, how to act, or how to move on.

“Mum, can we go now? We’ve been standing here like... forever!” Joe whinged, impatiently glancing at his mum.

“Sorry, what did you say?” Asked Abby, her brow wrinkled in confusion.

“I want to go home!” He repeated.

“We’re on our way home, Joe.” She replied.

“Do you want to buy that apartment or something?”

“Why do you ask?” She said as they started walking.

“Every time we walk here you look up at the windows, like you’re searching for something. Sometimes you just stand there for ten minutes and then move on like nothing has happened.” Joe remarked.

“It's nothing Joe. Just forget about it.” Abby said quickly.

“It’s something mum, I'm not stupid!”

“I don’t want to talk about it, okay?” Abby snapped sharply and looked at her son.

“Okay.” Joseph grumbled and then went silent, his mind drifting far away.

“I just need to buy cornflakes and other stuff to eat before we go home.” Abby said quietly.

-/-

“Is it where he lives?” Joe asked, he was trying to figure out why his mum always stared up at those windows.

“Who lives where?” She said, already knowing what the answer would be.

“My dad, you promised me that I could visit him. Do you remember that?”

“Yes I remember.”

“So you’ve just avoided that subject for months, hoping that I would forget it?”

“Joe, I won’t answer that. You know the answer already.” Abby added as she picked up her wallet.

“Yeah sure, I mean I should be used to it by now: every time I want to know things, you don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay, if that’s how you feel, what do you want to know?”

“I don’t know,” He said. To be perfectly honest, he didn't really know what he wanted to know. He just felt so betrayed and so left-out that he wanted to know something, anything. He wanted to know his dad but since he hadn't been able to do that, he wanted to know all about him. "The same things as before, what he’s like? Oooh, when can I meet him?”

Did I just say that? Smart move Abby. Now I have got no choice but to answer his questions. Great. Okay, here is goes.

"He's...” Why is it so hard to describe him? It shouldn't be this hard. Let’s start with something easy "You look like him, the same dark hair and same mysterious eyes. Luka's from Croatia, he was m...” No that's too private; Luka can tell him that he was married if he wants to later. That's way too personal.

"He was what?"

"Joe, don't ask me questions right now. You wanted to know and I'm telling you. I'm telling you the story, for real now. Okay?" Joseph nodded slowly.

"We almost lived in his house, you and me. Well, we still had our own apartments but I couldn't go home. I couldn't go to my apartment and sleep there, thinking that he was all alone. I had you but he only had us and we weren't there, it just didn't feel right. It didn't feel right at all. Luka was always so... caring. I woke up one night, hungry and pregnant, and I was moaning. He couldn't stand that I would happily eat something terribly unhealthy so he got up and fixed me some waffles in the middle of the night." She said, the memory making her smile and giggle at the same time, ”I still feel bad for leaving him there, all alone. But I had no choice, the image of you growing up and waiting for him to wake up was just too much for me. I didn't want you to have that life, Joe. The only thing that we could do was move away from Chicago. I only realized that two years after he fell into the coma. I met Lance, we had Julie and we got married.”

That wasn't so hard. I just told him how I feel. Well, I didn't tell him everything, obviously, he's just a child. My child, and I have to protect him, not confuse him with my feelings. He wouldn't understand, I don't even understand.

"So that's the whole story?" Joe finally said as they walked to the El.

"Yes. That's the whole story."

"You never spoke about dad like that. Well not 'dad,' Lance. You never spoke about Lance like that."

"Like what?" ooh, right. This isn't good. My son can read me like an open book.

"Like that.” He said simply. He didn't need to explain, she knew exactly what he meant.

"Do you want to come with me to the airport and pick up Julie next week? Lance is coming t...” Abby stopped in the middle of a sentence.

"Hello? Earth to mum..?" Joe tried to make contact with his mum, but it was clear that her mind was somewhere else. Her stare was fixed somewhere straight ahead, at someone, someone familiar to her somehow.

This can't be right. It can't be him. I don't want it to be him, but it is. His smile, his face, his everything, I just know that it's him. Does he recognise me? What does that matter anyway? Why am I thinking this? I don't want him to talk to me, after that last time. Great, now I'm lying to myself too. I just...want everything to be like before, like that day in the mall when we were hiding and looking on baby stuff for my baby. For his baby. For our baby.

"That's our train, Joe. C'mon" She said as she watched Luka get into the same one.

-/-

"What were you thinking about before?" Joseph asked as he sat down next to his mum in the almost empty carriage. There was only one dark haired man and an old woman seated there, apart from that, the train was deserted.

"When?"

"Before the El came, you just stopped in the middle of your sentence. It was kinda creepy..."

"I just. Never mind. My mind was just, somewhere else, that's all," She said, glancing around, suddenly aware that someone was staring at her.

"Sure that's the truth," Joe murmured quietly to himself.

-/-

"So do you want to come with me and pick up Julie next week? She's just staying here for a few days but it's something. Lance is just flying with her and then he and his...Amber are going to fly to the Caribbean on vacation," Abby repeated as they walked off the El platform.

"Isn't Jules going to go with them?"

"They, well Amber, want a private vacation," She said irritatably.

"ABBY!" A man shouted out, but Abby didn't stop.

"Shouldn't you talk to that guy?" Joe asked, turning around to look at the man who had yelled to his mum.

"How do we know that it's me he's shouting at?" Abby gushed, grabbing Joe's hand and pulling him after her.

”'Cause we are the only people on this street maybe?" Joe answered, a hint of sarcasm evident in his tone.

He must be gone my now. How am I gonna explain this to Joe without getting him to hate me? I did the right thing by walking away. But... it wouldn't have killed me to stop and talk to him. In fact, I still could if he's still there. That would save me a lot of problems with Joe...

"Joe, here's the key. You can go up with the food while I'm talking to him."

"Who is it?" Joseph asked, with a confused look on his face.

"Someone you don’t know," she replied. Joe took the key and started to walk to the door but stopped just in front of it to look at his mum and the mysterious man.

"I didn't know that you're back in town," the man said.

"Yeah I kind of moved back here." Abby answered and called out to her son, "Go inside, I'll be there in a minute."

"Is he... ours?" The man asked. Of course he is! Who else's would he be? You think that he's Lances'? Yeah, right.

"I guess so..." Why did I say that? Smart. Very smart.

"You didn't come to visit me a second time," the man said quietly, and Abby detected the hurt in his voice.

"I didn't have time, with the...”

"No, it's okay. You don't have to explain, you have a new family now. It’s okay, I understand."

"No, it's not okay." Abby anounced, "I hate myself for not coming back to see you, I'm sorry, really I am, but like you said, I had another family then. Now...” Why am I telling him this? He doesn't have to know that I wasn't...good enough for Lance. That he was searching after something that wasn't me. Tears started to fell down on her cheeks. Damn, why am I this weak?

"I moved to a new apartment after I left the hospital, it's not like the last apartment I had, but it will do," Luka said, ignoring her tears, "Life goes on, I can't erase what's happened, even though I wish I could." He's saying those words, those words that I've repeated in my head a million times. Words that mean so much.

"I should go now, it's late and Joe should get something to eat." She muttered. I have to get away, this is too much.

"Can...Can I see him?" No, no. you can't. I'm re-building my life, for the second time in twelve years so no, you can't come in.

"Sure, if you're want. If you have the energy to walk up for all these stairs that is. The elevator doesn't work at the moment, and even when it does work, it usually stops every second anyway... The apartment is nice, but not the elevator..." She blabbered. Damn it! Why do I always do this when I'm nervous!

"I'll make myself walk; I'm going to see my son. Right? That's got to be worth the walk." That's good, he just want a relationship with his son, nothing more. Well, he didn't say that actually, but he's gonna talk to his son, for the first time, for real.

so sick of this feeling
but it never stops, never stops
I’m still waiting
and I’m stuck with this feeling
will it ever stop, ever stop?
you see, I’m still shaking

[lockhart]

OMG!!!! just one word...perfect!!!
I love it too much

update soon,pleaseeee

[*Natalie*]

Great update
Hope the reunion goes well

natalie x

[Joosje]

Just a short chapter, sorry for that. I'm planning on two more chapter but since I'm going away the story will go on a hitaus for three weeks. Sorry for that! The lyrics are from Snow Patrol's .Make this go on forever
---------------
I really shouldn't be doing this right now. I'm not ready for this, I know that. But I also know that if I hadn't... this was my chance, and I took it. I didn't even know that she was back here. I hoped that she would be, I hope that she would come back. Every minute, every second. I always wished she would come back. And now here she is. Liar, liar. She isn't back, not back with me that is.

Please don't let this turn into something it's not

Okay, what's happening? What am I doing? Walking. Walking up the stairs. Walking up the stairs with Luka behind me. He's actually here, for real this time, not just in my imagination, in my dreams. He's breathing, living, behind me, and on his way to meet Joe. His son. Crap, this isn't good. I'm not ready for this. Joe isn't ready. Well, he doesn't know at all so he certainly isn't ready, he's had no time to prepare. He just saw me at the El and decided to take the chance, right? It's not like he'd became my stalker or anything. No. He's just Luka. Luka... tall, dark and handsome... Luka.

I can only give you everything I've got

I can't think as her as mine. It's been twelve years, she's not mine anymore. Besides, Abby doesn't want to belong to anyone. That’s Abby. At least that was Abby back then, that was how she used to be. She's married now, not a factor to be forgotten, maybe she has changed. Shouldn't her husband be at the apartment when we arrive? Great, now I’m walking into their perfect life and she'll be forced to introduce me as the father of her first child. But still, it doesn’t look like she’s having the perfect marriage. If you just glance at her you’ll see, her eyes are sad – like they’ve been through a lot. Well, they have, – and the only time I saw her being happy today was when she talked to her son. I wish I could protect her from that, from being sad, from hurting. I wish I could protect her from everything bad. Wait, she said, “I had another family then” not “I HAVE!” There’s a huge difference between those two sentences. Maybe she just twisted the words by mistake? Probably. Or maybe she isn’t married anymore?

I can't be as sorry as you think I should

Stop. Turn around. Say, “I can’t do this right now.” It’s easy, but still, I don’t do it. I want him to be... I don’t know what I want. I want to feel safe, I want Joe to feel safe and I want to be happy again. But that’s not going to happen. I would never admit that I still have feelings for him. I would rather jump from the nearest bridge. Even though that’s the truth. The real truth. I can live with it. I managed to build up a brand new life before, so it won’t be a problem to do it again. Liar, liar. I can’t live a whole life in denial, not again. It didn't work the first time, it won't work now.

But I still love you more than anyone else could
Breathe, you can handle this. Just a few steps left. You’ve walked longer than this before. This shouldn’t be a problem. But it is. It is a problem. I can’t move, I can’t breathe.

All that I keep thinking throughout this whole flight
Is it could take my whole damn life to make this right

“Are you okay?” Abby turned around after she noticed that he stopped. “Yeah, I’m okay. I just need to take a break I think, I’m not used to lots of stairs yet,” He said as he slowly sat down on the step, shaking.

”Liar, you’re not fine!” Abby exclaimed, concern blazing in her eyes.

“It’s nothing to be worried about. This happens sometimes when I overexert myself. It only lasts for a few seconds and then I’ll be able to walk again, I really am fine Abby.”

“Let me help you,” Abby said after a few minutes, reaching her hand out towards him.

“No, I’ll be okay,” He protested, trying to get up by himself. He did manage but his stance was so unsteady that he looked as if he was about to fall down.

She laughed. It had been years since I heard her laugh. She caught me in her arms; she didn’t let me fall down the stairs.

“Sure, I believe you. C’mon now. It’s time for you to meet Joe”

Suddenly I didn’t felt like I had anything against this. It’s time for change, good change. I hope this is one of those and if it isn’t I’ll know, we will know. I won’t wonder about it for the rest of my life.

“It’s the second door to the left,” She said, breaking the silence.

“What…what should I say to him?” They stopped once again.

She looks so calm, like this is something that happen everyday. I had to ask, ‘cause what should I say? “Hi, I’m your ex-comatose dad”

“What are you smiling at?”

“It’s nothing,” Luka said, without knowing that it was the same answer Abby had given Joe earlier on that day.

“You’ll figure something out to say to him, it won’t be a problem," She said, "Well, first I have to explain this whole situation to him so he won’t pass out," She said, trying to make a joke, to lighten the atmosphere, “just…I don’t know where you should wait when I’m talking to him,”

“I can wait in the hall, or I could hide behind the curtain or a chair. I’m not that tall, you know!”

This splintered mast I'm holding on won't save me long
Because I know fine well that what I did was wrong

[lockhart]

yayyyyyyyyy I love it!!

I want luka to meet joe soon!!!!
please,update soon!!!

[manu]

Perfect! I LOVE IT!!!

[*Natalie*]

Great update

[lockhart]

where are you?
I need you to update your fanfic !! hehehehehe

[Joosje]

here's the last chapter...and I can honestly say that it is after an eternity. thanks for the reviews!
---------
And life moves on, day after day. What the hell was I thinking about? The earth doesn’t circle around me. She needed someone to be there, to support her and what did I do? I kissed her! I’m gonna regret this every moment of my whole life if I don’t talk to her. I need to talk about us, about Joe. I have to. There they were again. The same thoughts I've had everyday since I left her apartment six weeks ago.

“Hi, you’ve reached Abby Lockhart and Joe Kovac. We can’t answer right now but you can leave us a message after the beep...”

“Abby, I know that you don’t want to talk but we have to. I’ll be at County today, to visit my physical therapist. I heard that you got your job back at the ER..uh..please just give me a call or come to meet me today. We need to talk.”

Since when did he get so deep? Like he knows what we need. But I know he's right. He’s not forcing me to talk to him. He could have stepped inside the ER and made me talk to him, but he didn't. That’s just so Luka and that’s why I love him. Loved. Love.

Abby stood outside the ward and looked through the glass. Her eyes searching after his without any result. She walked inside and made her way towards the admit desk.

“Do you know where I can find Luka Kovac? He had an appointment here today,” Abby asked the popcorn eating girl behind the desk.

“Kovac?” Abby nodded and looked around. “Yeah, he’s supposed to be here in about half an hour.”

“Thanks,” She turned around and started to walk to the elevator.

He’s not there. Great. And now I’m walking. Walking away from the problem. Typical Abby. Trying to escape. Trying to forget the problem for another couple of hours, ‘til my shift ends. Back into the elevator, back to work.

People rushed out of the elevator on the floor they wanted, and before long, the elevator became empty. Almost empty. But not quite. There he was. Looking down and lost in his thoughts.

“Isn’t this your floor?” She asked.

He recognised her voice in an instant.

“Yeah, it is but I’m early,” He said looking up, worry in his eyes.

“I know, I asked after you at the desk.” She pressed the button and the doors closed. Silence. “You know that I can’t do that right now. I have other things to think about now: Joe, Julie, the divorce papers, the old apartment, the new one, work...”

“They’re just excuses Abby,” He said softly, and Abby knew that he was right. They were just excuses.

“I can’t rush into things now.”

“Of course you can!”

“You were only there to see Joe. You weren't supposed to see me crying."

“I wasn’t only there for him,” He said, his gaze channelling straight into hers' as the elevator doors opened and a few people stepped in.

“Abby! Lowman’s going nuts down there! He’s been paging you for at least twenty minutes.” Said a nurse with her hands filled with charts.

“Damn! I told one of the new med students that I went on a break. The desk was empty for once. Can you tell Lowman that I’m on a break for another ten minutes please?” She begged the woman.

“I risk the chance of being stabbed if I tell him!" The nurse protested, but after one look at Abby's face she muttered, "Alright alright! I'll tell him but you owe me one!”

Abby responded with a smile and as the doors opened once again, the nurse hurried away.

Abby stepped out of the elevator and turning to Luka, she asked, “Are you coming?” He stood outside the elevator down in the ER, looking a little bit lost.

“Look, all I’m saying is that you’re just trying to find excuses. I didn’t mean to pressure you when I left that message, I thought it was clear that it was your choice. You didn’t have to come today but you did.”

She couldn't stand to hear him say this. She couldn't deal with this, it wasn't right. But if it was wrong, why was it exactly what she wanted to hear? She knew she couldn't just stand there and listen, she couldn't stay there with him, she knew what would happen if she did, so she turned to walk away. What else could she do?

I know it hurts too much
I know that you’re scared
I know you’re running out of trust
And wishing you were dead[/b]

He was prepared for that though, he knew her too well. Luka grabbed her arm and gently turned her around to face him once more. They were standing in the middle of the hall and whilst the rest of the ER buzzed around them, they didn't notice.

“Just tell me what I should do. I know I’m stuck in the past. I wake up every morning and find myself seraching for you. You raised Joe, you got married and you had another child. I get that, I do. I wasted twelve years in coma and while I lay there, I missed everything...”

But in your misery
You’re not alone
So, come share your tears with me
[/i]
“Dr. Lockhart, can you take a look at this lady?” A med student asked, appearing as if from nowhere.

“Can’t you see I’m busy!?” Abby cried. The med student mumbled a few words under her breath and ran away.

“Scary doctor Lockhart.” Luka smirked.

“I’ll be the next Romano." She replied smiling, "Okay, now it’s my turn to talk.” She dragged him in to an empty exam room and became serious again, “I had my life in NY and suddenly I got a phonecall. You were awake and everything came back to me. The memories, the feelings, the disappointment. I took the plane and visited you. I got completely confused and flew back. I got home and found out that my husband was cheating on me. I move back here. I see you. You kiss me. How was I supposed to feel? How was I supposed to react? I wanted someone that I could trust, not someone who would just kiss me when he wanted to. I wanted you to do it, but that wasn’t the right time. It isn't like it was twelve years ago. I don’t know what I feel or what’s gonna happen next. I don’t want to trust someone who goes away, who disappoints me, who disappears and deserts me. I want that person to be here with me. I’m afraid.” Abby finally paused, knowing that she’d said everything.

“I’m not going anywhere,” He said softly.

"Are you sure?" She whispered.

"I'm sure."

The door opened and a familiar voice was heard, ”Abby, there are two GSW’s coming in about five minutes, after a shootout in a high school. Could you give me a….hand?" The doctor's eyes came to rest on Luka for the first time, "Ugh... hi, Luka."

"I thought that you were supposed to be off now.” Abby said impatiently.

“I was..but I’m covering for Madison, she had to go home to her kids or something like that." The doctor replied, looking sideways at Abby.

“Hi Morris." Luka said half-heartedly. "Listen, I’ve to go up to the therapist now but I can come down later. Okay?” He continued, facing both Abby and Morris fixing his gaze firmly on the woman he loved.

Abby nodded and dried her tears with the hand as he left the room.

x x x x x x

"...and the guy in exam two is waiting for a consult.” Abby finished as she put the rest of her charts in another doctor’s hand.

“Ready to leave?” Luka asked.

“Sure, I’ll just have to grab my coat first. You can wait here if you want to."

This will be okay. Nothing to worry about. It will be okay, he said he's not going anywhere. Everything will be alright, maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow but someday. I just have to try and see how everything works out.

Abby came out from the lounge, smiling, and took his hand.

“I’m ready to leave,” she said. His smile matched hers and they walked from the ER, where this had all begun, and into the future. Their future.

And it feels like today I know,
it feels like today, I'm sure

It's the one thing that's missin'
The one thing you're wishin'
Life's sacred blessin' and then,
It feels like today

Feels like, feels like your life changes[/b]