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Post by hollygirl on Jan 7, 2008 11:09:33 GMT 10
Oh, I only WISH I was that good!!!! nope, definitely didn't write that. It's a song by trading yesterday. It's called shattered.. and it's my inspiration.
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Post by jacobsmommy on Jan 7, 2008 23:35:39 GMT 10
I like it Holly.
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Post by silverbells on Jan 8, 2008 5:54:46 GMT 10
Loved it Holly.
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Post by rorygilmore on Jan 8, 2008 13:30:21 GMT 10
Sorry guys... no update.. but make what you will out of this...
And I've lost who I am, and I can't understand Why my heart is so broken, rejecting your love, without, love gone wrong; lifeless words carry on But I know, all I know's that the end's beginning who I am from the start, take me home to my heart Let me go and I will run, I will not be silent, all this time spent in vain; wasted years wasted gain All is lost but hope remains and this war's not over There's a light, there's a sun taking all these shattered ones To the place we belong and his love will conquer all [/i][/quote] You want to torture us, eh? We need more, you can't leave us like this! MORE! *monster truck roarrs*
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Post by lubylover on Jan 10, 2008 13:52:48 GMT 10
I just read the whole thing and it was wonderful! I cried at all the sad moments, and laughed at the funny ones. The Abby and Luka on here are so great, I love how Luka was always there for her. But I hated how Abby's life was, and now she's like this, it's sad. But I'm sure you'll have a turn around somewhere. Hopefully you'll have her and Eric move out from Maggie's and move in with Luka and have a better life, Marry Luka and everything. Great story I love it and I can't wait for the update. Tons of Karma for you!
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Post by hollygirl on Jan 12, 2008 16:13:05 GMT 10
Sorry about the absurdly long wait!!!! but finally, here it is!
Chapter 106: Shattered
Opening the door to the small apartment, Abby wasn't surprised at all to find it a mess. Pots and pans piled up in the sink, along with dishes of all sorts. She sighed and made her way toward the small living room where the TV was left on, a fuzzy channel, with loud static noise blaring. She shut it off and examined the conditions around her.
"Eric?" She called out. There was nothing. "Maggie?" Silence.
Sighing, she walked back to her room and opened the door. It was just as she had left it three days ago. An ashtray on the bedside table, empty bottles in the trash can in the corner, and one half full bottle of clear liquid. She slowly picked it up, thinking of the taste of it. The burning in her throat as it would slide down. She shook her head and practically ran to the bathroom pouring it into the sink.
Back in her room, she picked up the trash can and ashtray and brought it out into the kitchen emptying it into the larger one. She grabbed every piece of trash through out the apartment and stuffed it into trash bags, leaving them all by the door. She scrubbed every pot and pan. Every dish. The counters, the table, the stove, the inside of the microwave, the coffee table. She vacuumed and changed the sheets on all the beds. It was pushing twelve now, and no one was back. They knew she was coming back today. Half an hour later the door swung open and in waltzed Maggie and Eric. His tired face lit up when he saw her and he ran to her, throwing his arms around his big sister.
"Hey there!" She squealed.
"You cleaned up." Maggie said, looking in around. Abby looked up, still squeezing Eric like she hadn't seen him in months.
"Well, someone had to."
"Eric, honey, why don't you go on to bed; it's late."
"But, I want to talk to Abby."
"You can talk to her tomorrow... right now you need to go to sleep."
"Fine.." He grumbled, walking back to his room.
"Have a nice little break?" Maggie asked curtly.
"Do you even know why I went back there?"
Maggie shrugged.
"There was a shooting at the school.. and I was scared.. I was worried about Luka."
"But why did you stay?"
"Because I felt good there.. I felt happy there.. with him. With his parents. I stayed there because I didn't know what to do anymore..” She trailed off, looking away. “I couldn’t handle things anymore… I just needed time to breathe. Time to figure things out.. Time to figure me out…. And it is just.. so hard. Everything is just too much… I.. “
“What is it Abby?” She just shook her head, letting the tears trickle down. “You can tell me..”
“You won’t understand… You’ll be hurt.”
“Why?”
“Because…. Because of you… All the stress and problems that come from here.. From you. Taking care of you. Worrying about you. Cleaning up after you. Fixing you and your problems. You, you, you, you, you! Everything is about you! And I hate feeling this way.. I hate having to blame you.. But I can’t help it. I know you’re sick… but there are ways to keep it under better control. And you don’t take anything. You don’t get help. You never have. And all of the build up just finally… crashed down. It was just too much…”
“Abby, please.” She begged, her voice shaky.
“I screwed up… I screwed up big… and I’m not ok.” Maggie stepped forward hesitantly, watching her daughter through blurred vision. Abby let her jacket fall to the ground, exposing her arms. She cried even harder when Maggie gasped and began sobbing. She fell to her knees, and sat there on the kitchen floor crying, her arms turned so that the cuts were all visible.
“Oh, Abby!” Maggie cried, pulling her daughter into her arms.
“I am messed up… “
“No.”
“Yes.. I am. Mom, will you please listen to me?!” She shouted, pulling away. “Look!” She shoved her arms into Maggie’s face. “Look at this! This is not ok! I am not ok! Do you know what I do every night? Do you even know who I am? Do you know me at all?! I drink and I smoke.. And I think about how sometimes I would rather be dead than live this life. But I could never do that! Not to Eric. That wouldn’t be fair.”
“Oh, honey.. Why didn’t you tell me any of this before?”
“How didn’t you notice?! Honestly, how did you not see what was going on?! I’ve spent nights passed out on the floor and you’ve never noticed?!”
“Abby-”
“And what would you have done anyway? You don’t understand!”
“You just need to stop all of this.. This is silly… you don’t have to do these things.”
“You know what I need? I need you to let me go… I need to be able to trust you.. To trust that you can be on your own and take care of Eric and yourself.. And keep a job and pay the rent and take your god damn meds. I need to be a normal teenager. I need… To leave.. What are you going to do when I’m in college?”
“I thought you could go to a close one..”
“No.. No.. that’s not what I want.. I can’t be here anymore.. I’m sorry but I can’t.. seriously.. Starting now.. I just want to be …. Elsewhere.. I want to be with people who can help me.. And be there for me.. And listen to me.. And see me.. I need to go back to Luka’s.. I need him. I can’t get through this without him.”
“You can’t just go invite yourself to live there Abby.”
“They want me to stay. They have always wanted me to stay.”
“What about Eric?”
“He’s your son. You should be able to take care of him.. I don’t understand that.. And you know what,… he could just stay with them too..”
“No. He will not be going… and you either.. You will be-”
“Fine? No. I won’t be fine. Not here.”
“Abby..”
“No.. I don’t know what I’m doing.. Or who I am.. I just know I don’t like it.. I don’t like what I’m doing.. I don’t like myself.. This is not who I wanted to be.. This is not what I expected to become.”
They sat there in silence, and suddenly, Abby looked at Maggie, still crying. “I’m sorry… I am… please understand.. Please.” She pulled herself up and raced toward the door, not looking back. She couldn't go through this alone. Not this fight. She didn't have the strength for it now. She didn‘t have anything with her but that didn‘t matter. She didn‘t need anything here. All she needed was just about an hour away..
Yesterday I died; tomorrow's bleeding Fall into your sunlight The future's open wide beyond believing To know why hope dies And losing what was found, a world so hollow Suspended in a compromise But the silence of this sound is soon to follow Somehow sundown And finding answers Is forgetting all of the questions we call home Passing the graves of the unknown
As reason clouds my eyes with splendor fading Illusions of the sunlight A reflection of a lie will keep me waiting With love gone for so long And this day's ending Is the proof of time killing all the faith I know Knowing that faith is all I hold
And I've lost who I am, and I can't understand Why my heart is so broken, rejecting your love, without, love gone wrong; lifeless words carry on But I know, all I know's that the end's beginning who I am from the start, take me home to my heart Let me go and I will run, I will not be silent, all this time spent in vain; wasted years wasted gain All is lost but hope remains and this war's not over There's a light, there's a sun taking all these shattered ones To the place we belong and his love will conquer all
Yesterday I died; tomorrow's bleeding Fall into your sunlight
Shattered -Trading Yesterday
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Post by LUBBY4LIFE on Jan 12, 2008 18:30:21 GMT 10
yayyyy a new update!! i loved it!
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Post by britneyluby on Jan 12, 2008 19:58:37 GMT 10
OMG, I looooove it!!! She should kidnap Eric and take him with her though... and LEAVE Maggie!!! I hope you update REALLY!!! soon!!!!
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Post by *Natalie* on Jan 13, 2008 0:34:15 GMT 10
Great update Glad she told Maggie how it is, hopefully Maggie can sort herself too natalie x
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Post by lubylover on Jan 13, 2008 5:33:09 GMT 10
GReat update! She's going to live at Luka's YAY!
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Misty
Lady of Luby
Posts: 142
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Post by Misty on Jan 14, 2008 7:52:27 GMT 10
Yay she finally stood up to her mother. Good for her.
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Post by lubbylover1 on Jan 14, 2008 7:57:51 GMT 10
Amazing update, as always back soon......
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Malu Visnjic
Lady of Luby
icon by thisw0mansw0rk @ lj.com
Posts: 113
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Post by Malu Visnjic on Jan 14, 2008 10:19:19 GMT 10
I love it, it's amazing as usual =)
Update soon Holly! I want to see what happen next ^^
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Tails
Duchess of Luby
^ Thanks Nina for the avatar
Posts: 313
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Post by Tails on Jan 20, 2008 14:08:12 GMT 10
I love this Fic soooo much!! I can' t wait for abby to be back at luka's....i hope she comes back for Eric though...
Great Update!!!
Can't wait for the next one!
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aminem
Lady of Luby
Posts: 104
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Post by aminem on Feb 21, 2008 14:15:48 GMT 10
where are you? i miss your fic
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