Post by linda on Jun 20, 2006 5:50:33 GMT 10
Song is 'Open your eyes' by snow patrol (oh yeah!!)
Tell me exactly what you think, good or bad.
THIS IS A ONE SHOT.
All this feels strange and untrue
And I won't waste a minute without you
My bones ache, my skin feels cold
And I'm getting so tired and so old
----------
He was losing her and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. He was useless to save the only woman he truly trusted. The one woman he was madly in love with.
His heart beat in his chest, a beautiful rhythm meant only for her but her hand couldn’t feel it, her ear couldn’t hear it. It was a lonely solo he wished he wasn’t hearing. It only made it worse to imagine all the times she had laid her head on his chest and taken for granted the weight of her on him.
He couldn’t bear it any longer.
“Luka!” Nothing would stop him until he was away from this smell of death.
Tears dragged down his cheeks, catching on the gauze and stinging but this tiny pain was insignificant to the pain of his heart breaking.
----------
The anger swells in my guts
And I won't feel these slices and cuts
I want so much to open your eyes
Cos I need you to look into mine
---------
“Come on, open your eyes. Please.” They urged her, hoping their summation of prayers would somehow change this dreadful situation. “Come on, we need you.”
She looked too battered, too bruised to even be alive but she was and they were clinging to that small miracle and damn well hoping for another.
The heart monitor showed an increase in beats as her eyes fluttered open.
“Oh Maja, hey sweetie. How are you feeling?”
“Where’s mommy and daddy?” she croaked, her chocolate eyes skipping from person to person, none of which could speak. Right now they could protect her until the time came when she was strong enough. Right now was out of the question.
---------
Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine
And we'll walk from this dark room for the last time
----------
The lake lapped gently against his ankles as he stood silently, looking out across the expanse of waters he so wished he could just walk into.
“I wonder if she’s awake yet.” He wondered out loud.
“Yes and she’s asking for you.” His voice came from the right and Luka turned. “Why here?”
“We used to come here…to think.” His voice cracked and he stopped. “Please, not now Carter.” They stood in silence for a moment.
“I was told to bring you back. Maja woke up. Come on, we’re all behind you Luka.” He stepped from the edge and pulled on his sneakers but stopped.
“What?”
“I’m scared Carter.” He whispered. “What if…”
“Don’t even start. Let’s just go back and see where we’re at.”
“Thanks.”
Carter laid a hand on his friend’s forearm and they set off toward the hospital.
--------
Every minute from this minute now
We can do what we like anywhere
I want so much to open your eyes
Cos I need you to look into mine
--------
It was up to him.
This decision was all his own, yet he was totally unable to make it. It was too big, too hard.
It would mean the end.
She had squeezed his hand and opened her eyes when he returned, but as if she was waiting to say goodbye, she has lost a rhythm and as he watched them shock her frail body, the words caught in his throat.
“Stop…please stop.” Tears ran down his face, his body shaking. “Don’t.” Chuny sat his down and softly held his head as they called her.
“Time of death 3:08am.”
-----
All this feels strange and untrue
And I won't waste a minute without you
-------
It is 15 years today that we lost my mother.
In fact, that is a totally dumb expression. We knew exactly where she was, we just couldn’t keep her there.
My name is Maja Kovac and I’m 18 years old. I live mainly in Chicago with my father in a house that is beautiful but missing something.
For 3 months a year I live with my grandfather and my Uncle Drago in what is basically a shack on the beach.
So I could say I’m happy, which I am most of the time. I have all I could want or need, a father’s love that is unending but at the end of the day, I can’t take to him about birth control or boys.
I don’t know how you can miss something you don’t remember having but I think I mastered that art. In my dreams I never see her face but I know who she is, and I know I wish she was alive, because if Uncle Carter is telling the truth, she was an amazing person.
Sometimes I stumble on pictures of her and me, and I’ll recreate the scene in my head as if I remember it, but I’m pretty sure I don’t.
The one thing I do remember is her smell though. It is completely unidentifiable, as if it held a part of her soul within it that can never be recreated. But I often find a perfume that smells a little like her, or a shower gel that makes my eyes water. Of course I don’t dare mention it to my father- he’s fragile enough as it is. I often wish I could stop his pain but he told me once that every time he sees me, he sees her too and though that hurts, it reminds him that I am a part of them both.
Apparently I have her laugh, and a way of crinkling up my nose. I have her eyes and her hair, and her hands too according to Carter and Susan. In those two people, I learn about a mother I hardly knew and a person I wish I did.
Tell me exactly what you think, good or bad.
THIS IS A ONE SHOT.
All this feels strange and untrue
And I won't waste a minute without you
My bones ache, my skin feels cold
And I'm getting so tired and so old
----------
He was losing her and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. He was useless to save the only woman he truly trusted. The one woman he was madly in love with.
His heart beat in his chest, a beautiful rhythm meant only for her but her hand couldn’t feel it, her ear couldn’t hear it. It was a lonely solo he wished he wasn’t hearing. It only made it worse to imagine all the times she had laid her head on his chest and taken for granted the weight of her on him.
He couldn’t bear it any longer.
“Luka!” Nothing would stop him until he was away from this smell of death.
Tears dragged down his cheeks, catching on the gauze and stinging but this tiny pain was insignificant to the pain of his heart breaking.
----------
The anger swells in my guts
And I won't feel these slices and cuts
I want so much to open your eyes
Cos I need you to look into mine
---------
“Come on, open your eyes. Please.” They urged her, hoping their summation of prayers would somehow change this dreadful situation. “Come on, we need you.”
She looked too battered, too bruised to even be alive but she was and they were clinging to that small miracle and damn well hoping for another.
The heart monitor showed an increase in beats as her eyes fluttered open.
“Oh Maja, hey sweetie. How are you feeling?”
“Where’s mommy and daddy?” she croaked, her chocolate eyes skipping from person to person, none of which could speak. Right now they could protect her until the time came when she was strong enough. Right now was out of the question.
---------
Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine
And we'll walk from this dark room for the last time
----------
The lake lapped gently against his ankles as he stood silently, looking out across the expanse of waters he so wished he could just walk into.
“I wonder if she’s awake yet.” He wondered out loud.
“Yes and she’s asking for you.” His voice came from the right and Luka turned. “Why here?”
“We used to come here…to think.” His voice cracked and he stopped. “Please, not now Carter.” They stood in silence for a moment.
“I was told to bring you back. Maja woke up. Come on, we’re all behind you Luka.” He stepped from the edge and pulled on his sneakers but stopped.
“What?”
“I’m scared Carter.” He whispered. “What if…”
“Don’t even start. Let’s just go back and see where we’re at.”
“Thanks.”
Carter laid a hand on his friend’s forearm and they set off toward the hospital.
--------
Every minute from this minute now
We can do what we like anywhere
I want so much to open your eyes
Cos I need you to look into mine
--------
It was up to him.
This decision was all his own, yet he was totally unable to make it. It was too big, too hard.
It would mean the end.
She had squeezed his hand and opened her eyes when he returned, but as if she was waiting to say goodbye, she has lost a rhythm and as he watched them shock her frail body, the words caught in his throat.
“Stop…please stop.” Tears ran down his face, his body shaking. “Don’t.” Chuny sat his down and softly held his head as they called her.
“Time of death 3:08am.”
-----
All this feels strange and untrue
And I won't waste a minute without you
-------
It is 15 years today that we lost my mother.
In fact, that is a totally dumb expression. We knew exactly where she was, we just couldn’t keep her there.
My name is Maja Kovac and I’m 18 years old. I live mainly in Chicago with my father in a house that is beautiful but missing something.
For 3 months a year I live with my grandfather and my Uncle Drago in what is basically a shack on the beach.
So I could say I’m happy, which I am most of the time. I have all I could want or need, a father’s love that is unending but at the end of the day, I can’t take to him about birth control or boys.
I don’t know how you can miss something you don’t remember having but I think I mastered that art. In my dreams I never see her face but I know who she is, and I know I wish she was alive, because if Uncle Carter is telling the truth, she was an amazing person.
Sometimes I stumble on pictures of her and me, and I’ll recreate the scene in my head as if I remember it, but I’m pretty sure I don’t.
The one thing I do remember is her smell though. It is completely unidentifiable, as if it held a part of her soul within it that can never be recreated. But I often find a perfume that smells a little like her, or a shower gel that makes my eyes water. Of course I don’t dare mention it to my father- he’s fragile enough as it is. I often wish I could stop his pain but he told me once that every time he sees me, he sees her too and though that hurts, it reminds him that I am a part of them both.
Apparently I have her laugh, and a way of crinkling up my nose. I have her eyes and her hair, and her hands too according to Carter and Susan. In those two people, I learn about a mother I hardly knew and a person I wish I did.