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Post by Maryesa on Feb 9, 2008 9:08:53 GMT 10
Hi everybody, Here is my first fanfic, and probably the last one. I'm not inventing anything because I’m very bad at it, I just imagined Luka and Abby’s feelings and memories just before they get reunited in Croatia. She’s in Chicago ready to take her plane the day after, he’s in Croatia (by the way Dubrovnik or another place?) with Joe, waiting for her. For the moment I wrote the first and the last chapter, it won’t be too long, I just have to find 1 or 2 chapters in the middle (if it’s worth going on). It’s a good training for me to write in English, I hope I won’t make too many faults! Chapter 1CroatiaAbby. Every day I was thinking about her, her smile, her warm voice, the softness of her skin, the smell of her hair. Everything we’ve been through, years after years. But I love her, and I know I’ll do for the rest of my life. When I met her 8 years ago I was scared, scared of falling in love again, scared of being happy when They were gone, scared by this tiny woman, so fragile and so strong, so secret and so elusive, and I screwed up everything. And the day I lost her, this night we broke up, I realised I was in love with her. But it was too late. She was the best thing that happened to me since I arrived in America, and I lost her. But I won’t lose her a second time. Not this time. ChicagoLuka. In a few hours now, I’ll be with him, with them. Finally the right place to be. I need him so much. His deep blue eyes, his strong arms where I feel so peaceful, safe and in security. I know we made a lot of mistakes. I first thought I wasn’t made for happiness, I knew I could be happy with him, but I was sure I didn’t deserve it. 7 years ago our history was doomed because we were not ready for it. I understood too late how important he was for me. And I threw myself in another love story, thinking it was the good one. But it wasn’t. And he was drinking, living fast, having sex, almost killing a med student… Luka, when you fell of the wagon few years ago, was it…because of me?
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Post by LUBBY4LIFE on Feb 9, 2008 9:13:40 GMT 10
aw i like it! update soon pleaaase!
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Post by lubylover on Feb 9, 2008 11:31:21 GMT 10
I love it, I can't wait for more
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Post by andrejia on Feb 9, 2008 11:40:26 GMT 10
I'm pretty sure his dad is in ...ahem..was in Zagreb.
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Post by Maryesa on Feb 10, 2008 1:06:32 GMT 10
after thinking about it all night, here is the 2nd part !
Chapter 2, escape to Africa:
Croatia,
I lost you, and I saw you with another one. Even when we were friends, I had this feeling you were escaping from me. And it killed me to see you together. This wasn’t meant to be, this wasn’t fair, this was the worst thing ever. And the more I saw you going away from me, the more I realised I loved you. You were the only person I cared about in this hospital, in Chicago, in this entire world, in my whole life.
I needed to escape and to forget you, and that’s how I made things nonsense. Drinking, having sex, living fast, almost killing a med student…
But it wasn’t enough. And I went to Africa.
And one day I was there, sick with malaria, kneeling on the ground with a gun on my head. They were killing everyone here. We didn’t know why, did they even know themselves? I knew I was going to die, I was the next one. I closed my eyes and suddenly I thank to my family. I was finally going to join my wife and children. This wasn’t so bad. My time has come.
And I asked to myself if at this precise moment I had one single reason to live, one single reason to fight for my life and come back to Chicago. And as I was there, between the ground and the sun shining and burning my skin, I saw you. I saw your face, I saw your smile and I realised it was worth living just to see you again, just to love you again. You were there when I needed you the most, and your smile was stronger than her memory. My time wasn’t over.
Why didn’t I say you that when I came back? Maybe I thought we hadn’t wasted time enough…
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Post by lubylover on Feb 10, 2008 6:38:46 GMT 10
Awww... great update. I can't wait for more Update soon
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Post by britneyluby on Feb 10, 2008 18:19:16 GMT 10
Love it!!! UPDATE!!
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Post by Maryesa on Feb 11, 2008 17:49:39 GMT 10
next chater, hope you like it. I have some difficulties to write the next one.
Chapter 3, a second chance
Chicago,
And you came back from Africa, and it was so good to see you again. It was nice to be your friend, it was nice to see you happy. And it was painful to see you sad. You were there for me and I was there for you. I thought it was enough, I didn’t see anything coming.
And one night, I stood there in your apartment, and you kissed me. And at that precise moment I knew. I knew this was the right thing to do, I knew I had been waiting for this kiss since years, since the moment we broke up.
For the first time of my life I felt good and it was because of you. Thanks to you. I understood I was in love with you the day I decided to keep our baby. When I realised you were the only man on earth I wanted to have a baby with.
And a new life began for me. It was about laughs, and hope, and love, and happiness. And Joe.
Croatia,
And Joe. The best gift you made me. We made to each other. Life started again for me, for us. Everything was new, everything was different, everything was beautiful. You were beautiful.
And suddenly he was there, so tiny and so fragile. So helpless. But I knew I couldn’t lose you, I knew you both gonna make it. And we fought for his life, and he was such a pure fighter that one day he came back home with us.
And you became a mother. His mother. Everything seemed so natural, so instinctive. You were playing your best role, I was amazed, and moved and just happy. What could we do to be happier? Getting married I guess…
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Post by marioh on Feb 11, 2008 18:02:34 GMT 10
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Post by lubylover on Feb 12, 2008 10:24:49 GMT 10
Loved it
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Post by britneyluby on Feb 12, 2008 19:11:11 GMT 10
update update UPDATE!!!
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Post by Maryesa on Feb 14, 2008 4:20:43 GMT 10
Sigh. It’s really difficult to write this chapter (even if it doesn’t seem to be!). I’m just trying to find the good words… As my mind is quite in a mess (too much thought) I post here a first part. If you like it I’ll try to update soon, and finally finish this damn fic!
Chapter 4: we both cried, sometimes it’s the only thing you can do…
Chicago,
And we were there standing in front of each other, all our friends staring at us. Finally exchanging our vows, after 7 years of fear, hope, hesitation and love. Hand in hand we jumped into the pool. Living with you made me happier that I never thought I could be one day. Maybe this was too much?
And you went away. I thought I could handle your absence. We were first waiting for you serenely, contentment reigned in the house. But it was long, too long. And suddenly there was a great emptiness inside me. Why did you leave us? You were there in your country, with your father and bro, next to her memory. This wife who was perfect, certainly more perfect than I will never be. The comparison was too difficult.
I was in front of a precipice, and I jumped. And there I was one more time, sitting in this airport, not knowing how I got there. As if it was always supposed to finish this way. It’s the dance I do. Getting better, one day falling, and drinking, and losing control. The difference this day was that I had a baby in my arms in this airport. A baby who was crying with me. A baby I will never be able to hurt. Your baby. And I was clung to him as if he was a lifeline. My last barrier against my own madness. Without you I was lost, but our son was here to prevent me from drowning completely.
Croatia,
I knew something was wrong. It was as if you runaway as I was coming back.
I’ve been there during months, with my family, in my country, in my house. I went to the cemetery, I needed to. Life is such a mystery, if they were still alive, I wouldn’t have met you, Joe won’t be here… And the more I stayed in Croatia, the more I understood my life was in Chicago. With you and Joe. It was time to come back.
But it was too late. And I felt you escaping. I missed something but I didn’t know what. And suddenly I understood. You were still so fragile, you were still hiding the pain you had inside of you. I remembered the words I pronounced the day we got married. But I broke my promise. One more time, I wasn’t attentive enough and I messed up with you. And we were fighting when we most needed each other. Again. I guess people don’t change. Was I going to lose you, like years ago?
But you decided that it was enough. Enough pain and suffering. Enough misunderstanding and silence. It hurt so much to realise how bad you felt, but finally you opened your mind to me. From this moment we could try to repair the damages. What could we do more?
We both cried, sometimes it’s the only thing you can do…
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Post by lubylover on Feb 14, 2008 8:56:15 GMT 10
Loved it!
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Post by marioh on Feb 14, 2008 15:47:15 GMT 10
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Post by Maryesa on Feb 15, 2008 6:29:26 GMT 10
Here a small update. I’m glad I’ve finished this part, it’s the one before the last one. Chapter 5: We always find each otherChicago, When I saw you at County I forgot everything. I just saw your face and ran to you to feel you arms around me, your face against my face. I needed to hold you, and touch you, and kiss you, as if it was the first and the last time. But seconds later I was back to reality. Everything should have been right because you were here, but it wasn’t. I was sick of myself, rejecting my shame, my behaviour and your love. It was so easy to let myself go. But this time it was different. For the first time in my life I couldn’t admit I haven’t the right to be happy. I wanted to fight my old demons for you and for Joe. It was time to be the master of my life. I’m not a child anymore. I’m a wife and a mother. Croatia,
You were out of control and nobody was able to stop you. Nobody? One person was here to support you. Your baby. Our son. You’re not a bad mother. You never messed up with him. During all the nightmare you’ve been through, the only thing that mattered was Joe. He misses you terribly. You’re everything to him. When you smile, he smiles; when you’re tired, he cries; when you’re in pain, he suffers for you. He loves you a way that noboby else will. He kept you alive when you we’re on the edge of an abyss. When you will be happy again, he will be happy again. I’m not sure I want to know everything that happened. Maybe we had enough. One thing is sure, we deserve to be happy. We can get past it. We got married for the best and for the worst. The worst is behind us. You needed to be alone in your recovery. Tomorrow we will be together whatever the life holds us for.
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