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Post by Maryna on Jul 14, 2006 17:35:41 GMT 10
update soon!
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Post by <3 LubyII <3 on Jul 14, 2006 21:53:47 GMT 10
Great update!
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Post by larue on Jul 15, 2006 2:07:33 GMT 10
Overload
The answering machine was blinking when she got to her apartment. She pressed the button and sighed deeply. It was her mother. Abby settled herself on the couch and pushed the auto dial button on the phone.
“Hi, Mom,” Abby said when Maggie answered. They talked for a while...Maggie going a mile a minute about a new job...a new friend... a new hair color. Listening to her, Abby felt herself being pulled back into her childhood. All the manic episodes when it was almost fun to be part of Maggie’s world...followed by the deep and long lasting depressions.
She sat in the dark for a long time after Maggie hung up. Her thoughts were racing...and piling up...and racing...and piling up. She felt bile begin to build up in her throat. She felt rooted to her seat on the couch.
Abby picked up the phone again and dialed the only number that she could think of. She swallowed hard as she waited for someone to answer.
“Susan...”Abby choked. “Can you talk to me for a while...please?”
“Abby?” Susan asked worriedly. “What’s the matter?”
“I...I can’t breathe...” she choked. “I can’t move off the couch...”
“Abby”, Susan asked quietly but sternly. “Where’s Luka?” Abby clung tightly to the phone and blinked back the tears in her eyes.
“He’s at the hospital,” she choked. “He is waiting for a patient to come out of surgery.”
“Okay,” Susan’s voice was calming. “Think about what you are telling me. How are you feeling?” Abby’s heart was racing and she swallowed. She had drawn herself into a tight ball on the couch.
“I can’t...I can’t breathe...” she said. “My heart is pounding...” Abby choked and closed her eyes tightly. “It hurts.”
‘Honey...take a deep breath for me now...” Susan was beginning to panic on the other end. Abby pressed the phone to her ear and nodded. She stopped and took a deep breath.
“Let it out, Abby,” Susan ordered. ‘I can’t hear you breathing. Abby?”
“I’m here,” she managed to say.
“Think, Abby,” Susan asked. “Are you having any pain anywhere else?”
“Just when I breathe,” Abby said. “And my head is ringing.”
“Take another breath, Abby,” Susan ordered. “In...and out. In and out... You’re doing fine. I can hear you. Is it better now?” Abby was silent as she squeezed her eyes shut and concentrated on taking slow and easy breaths.
“I think you’re having a panic attack, Abby,” Susan said. “Either that or your blood pressure is soaring. Try to relax. I’m going to have Chuck call Luka on our cell phone.”
“No...don’t do that,” Abby cried. “I’ll be fine.” She breathed in and out slowly and the pain in her chest began to lessen.
‘What happened?” Susan demanded when Abby was calmer.
“I talked to Maggie tonight,” Abby said.
“Damn it, Abby,” Susan scolded. “You are no longer allowed to talk to your mother OR your brother unless someone is home with you! Do you hear me?”
“Yes ma’am,” Abby smiled a little.
“And you are to tell Coburn about this,” Susan ordered. “When is your next appointment?”
“Next week,” Abby let out a deep breath.
“What did Maggie say to you?” Susan asked.
“It was nothing,” Abby said as she straightened a little on the couch. “She just sounded...”
“Like she is off her meds again?” Susan finished.
“No,” Abby said. “Not like that...it’s just remembering” Abby stopped as she felt the rising panic again.
“Let’s not talk about that now,” Susan said calmly. “What’s going on at the hospital these days? How are Neela and Ray? Chuny?” Before long Abby was calm and chuckling a little as she and Susan traded stories. The apartment door opened and Luka strode in. He shut the door, threw his coat off and crossed the room to her. He turned on the light next to her. He had a dark frown on his face. Abby looked up for a second and then dissolved into tears as he sat next to her. She dropped the phone and pressed herself against him. Luka wrapped his arms around her as she began to sob. He reached for the telephone. He held Abby close.
“Thank you for calling me, Susan,” he said. “I’m home now.”
“Take care of her, Luka,” Susan said. “For God’s sake do not let her talk to her mother when she is home alone any more.” Luka nodded.
“We’ll call you again tomorrow,” he said and hung up the phone. He held Abby for a long moment and then moved to sit with her on the couch. Abby clung to him as he waited for the sobs to stop. Luka took a blood pressure cuff out of his jacket pocket and put his stethoscope in his ears. Abby shook her head.
“I’m fine...” her voice trailed off as he frowned at her. She was quiet as he took her blood pressure.
“It’s okay,” he said as he took the cuff off her arm. He gazed at her sternly.
“Do you want to talk to me now?” he asked. Abby shook her head.
“I’m okay...really,” she said. “It’s just...Maggie.” Tears welled up in her eyes again. “How can we do this, Luka? How can we do this to a baby?” Luka wrapped his arms around her carefully.
“Our baby is fine,” he said gently.
“When it was just me, I could handle it. I’ve learned how to get through things, you know?” she said tearfully. “But how can I keep this baby safe? How can I stop this from happening to it?” Luka held her away from him and tipped her face to his.
“You listen to me,” he said firmly. “You’re not alone anymore. You don’t have to hide in a closet. You don’t have to pretend that everything is all well...any more.” Abby nodded and sniffed.
“We will both take care of our child,” he said firmly. ‘No matter what happens. I promise you. You are not...in this...all...alone.” She looked at him and started to cry again.
“Damn these hormones,” she sobbed. "And I hate blaming that!" Luka chuckled and hugged her close for a long time.
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Post by Manda..//* on Jul 15, 2006 2:25:58 GMT 10
this is the best fan fic ive ever read update soon plz
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Post by Maryna on Jul 15, 2006 2:26:55 GMT 10
great update!
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Post by <3 LubyII <3 on Jul 15, 2006 12:25:52 GMT 10
Awesome!!!
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Post by jaana on Jul 15, 2006 16:45:26 GMT 10
Great!
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Post by rorygilmore on Jul 15, 2006 17:35:46 GMT 10
Gosh!!!...For one moment I thought Abby was going to choke.
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Post by larue on Jul 15, 2006 21:06:20 GMT 10
“So, why am I doing this again?” Abby asked as she tapped her fingers impatiently on the arm rest of the hard bucket seat in the airport concourse.
“Because it’s a good idea,” Luka said absently as he checked over her ticket information. “Susan wants to see you. She wants to show off their new house.”
“But I could be home...” she started.
“Pacing and cleaning and sleeping and eating,” Luka finished for her with a grin. “You can do that just as easily at Susan’s house. Besides, I’m on the schedule all weekend. I won’t have to worry about you being home alone.”
“You know, Maggie is going to be angry if she finds out I did this,” Abby said. “She is going to want me to come to Minnesota.”
“It’s too cold in Minnesota, right now,” Luka said evenly as he continued to read. “We’ll all go after the baby is born...when it’s warmer.” Abby studied his profile with a stubborn frown. Luka looked up as the boarding announcement was made and a door opened to admit passengers to the plane. He stood up and lifted the carry on bag that held her things. He pulled Abby up gently and she took the bag from him. His kissed her and then pushed her in the direction of the door.
“Go on,” he said. “Have a good time. I’ll call you tonight.” She waved to him as she disappeared down the covered ramp to the plane. She found her seat, put the bag in the overhead storage and settled next to the window. It was a short flight and she slept most of the way. Susan was waiting for her when she disembarked.
“Oh my God...Abby!” Susan threw her arms around her and hugged her. ‘I can’t believe you are really here!” She stepped back and grinned broadly as she gave her friend a visual once over.
“You look...beautiful,” she said breathlessly. “And there’s a baby in there!” She widened her eyes a bit with an unasked question and Abby nodded in feigned resignation. She opened her coat. Susan giggled and pressed a hand to Abby’s belly.
“I don’t know if this is such a good idea after all,” she said. ‘You’re going to make me want to do it all over again!” Abby laughed as Susan took the carry on bag from her and linked their arms.
“I gotta remember...swollen feet...hemorrhoids...labor...we need to get home quick...so I can remind myself what life is like with a three year old!” Susan said. Abby laughed. Luka had been right. This was what she needed. She felt as a two ton weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
Susan drove her through the snow drifted streets of Des Moines and pointed out her new hospital, a shopping mall and the preschool that Cosmos attended. They talked nonstop for the entire sixty minute drive to the house. And it was a wonderful three days. They were up early for breakfast with Chuck and Cosmos. They stayed up till all hours talking and played a continuous game of ‘Scrabble’.
“You don’t play this with Luka?” Susan asked as they were putting the board away one night. Abby shrugged with a smile.
“He cheats,” she said. “He sneaks Croatian words in on me. Who keeps a dictionary like that around...even if I could read it?” Susan laughed.
The tea kettle whistled and she hurried to turn it off before the shrill sound woke a sleeping Chuck and Cosmos. She poured them each a cup of tea and added a liberal dash of milk to Abby’s cup. She carried the cups to the overstuffed couch where Abby had curled up under a knit shawl.
“Thank you,” Abby said as she took a sip.
“How is Luka handling the Chief position?” Susan asked as she settled herself at the other end of the couch.
“He loves it,” Abby said.
“He should,” Susan nodded. “He’s perfect for it.” They sipped their tea in silence for a moment.
“Is he excited about the baby?” Susan asked finally. Abby nodded. Susan studied her face.
“You don’t look so sure about that,” she said. “What’s wrong?”
“Oh...I know he’s thrilled about the baby,” Abby said. “There’s just something...never mind.”
“Abby, “ Susan sat up a little straighter. “Tell me.” Abby took a sip of her tea and looked at Susan thoughtfully.
“I’m not sure that he is happy that he is having it with me,” she said and took a deep breath.
“You have got to be kidding!” Susan exclaimed and then grimaced. She cocked her head and listened to the quiet house. Then she turned back to Abby.
“How could you even think that?” she asked. Abby shrugged.
“He was still living with Sam barely a month before we...well...you know,” Abby said.
“So...you think this is some kind of...rebound thing?” Susan shook her head. Abby didn’t respond.
“Abby, “ Susan said firmly. “If anything, Sam was a rebound from you. You and Luka have a long history together. You’ve been friends. Think about everything that he’s gone through with you...Carter...Africa...Gillian...and you’re together now.”
“I know he’s joking but he talks about custody fights...,” Abby said as she took another sip of her tea. “I won’t ever doubt that he won’t be there for this baby. I just don’t think he will be there for me.” A tear slipped down her cheek. Susan watched her sadly and then handed her a tissue from the box on the table. Abby dabbed at her eyes and sighed.
“Maggie told me once...a long time ago...that Luka stared at me all the time when I wasn’t watching,” Abby said. “I’m afraid that we may have lost that.”
“You haven’t, Abby,” Susan said quietly. “Maybe you are what is scaring the hell out of him. Maybe he is afraid of moving too fast because he might lose you again. You have a tendency to back off when things get to be too good for you. I mean, I love you to death, sweetie, but you aren’t exactly the poster child for a happy, stable relationship.” Abby laughed and then yawned wearily.
“Aw...I’ve kept you up too late,” Susan said and then added, “I’ve kept ME up too late. I have to work tomorrow. ” They stood up and Susan took the tea mugs and put them in the kitchen. She put her arm across Abby’s shoulders and walked her to the stairs.
“I am going to miss you so much,” Susan said as she hugged her. “I have to go in early so Chuck is going to take you to the airport. Don’t you ever forget that I’m...”
“...only a phone call away,” they said in unison. Abby smiled and hugged her.
Abby’s plane arrived in Chicago a bit early so she was very surprised to see Luka waiting for her at the arrival gate.
“What are you doing here?” Abby laughed as Luka picked her up in an embrace. “I told you I would take a cab.”
“I missed you,” he sighed and kissed her.
“It’s only been three days,” she laughed as he set her back down.
“Too long,” he smiled. He took the stuffed circular pillow she was carrying and looked at in confusion.
“What’s this?” he asked.
“It’s a boppy,” Abby said. “Susan loaned it to me.”
“Boppy?” he asked.
“Yeah, you put it around your lap to help hold the baby when you are nursing,” she said absently as she checked her carry on bag. Luka looked at the pillow in confusion.
“You need a round pillow to nurse a baby?” he asked. Abby looked up at him and then laughed.
“Oh...and look at this,” she said as she opened her coat. She was wearing a silkish green tee shirt with the words ‘Knocked Up’ written gracefully across the front. “It’s stretchy!” Luka grinned. The sparkle that had been missing from her brown eyes was back.
“Come on,” she said as she grabbed his arm and tugged. “I can’t wait to go to bed.”
“Bed? But it’s only...” he looked at her and then grinned. “Ohhh...” Abby chuckled and dragged him through the airport tarmac.
“Come on...”she said. “It’s been three freaking days.”
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Post by <3 LubyII <3 on Jul 15, 2006 22:05:41 GMT 10
Awesome! Loved it!
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Post by Maryna on Jul 15, 2006 22:49:41 GMT 10
update soon!
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Post by strausser on Jul 15, 2006 23:11:18 GMT 10
love it
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Post by Manda..//* on Jul 16, 2006 0:05:45 GMT 10
great update!!
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Post by maggie on Jul 16, 2006 3:11:32 GMT 10
love the tee-shirt...
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Post by larue on Jul 16, 2006 20:44:54 GMT 10
Luka
Luka grinned as he reached down to turn off the blaring alarm clock on the table next to her bed. He leaned over close to her.
“Abby,” Luka whispered in her ear. “Time to get up. You slept through your alarm.” Abby sat straight up suddenly and they bumped heads.
“Oww...” Luka groaned as he fell onto the coverlet holding his forehead.
“Are you okay?” she asked holding her own.
“I didn’t know you were awake,” he said as he sat up. Abby climbed out of bed.
“I wasn’t but you said I was late...hold on... I’ll get you something.” She pulled a robe on over her pajamas and hurried out of the bedroom. She came back with a bag of peas from the freezer.
“Peas? Ow!” he yelped as she pressed the bag to his forehead.
“Oh, come on...don’t be such a baby,” she laughed. “Let me see.”
She tipped his head up and grimaced when she saw the knot forming on his forehead. She pressed the bag of frozen peas to it again and Luka grinned when he realized that he was sitting eye level to her breasts and rounding belly. His hands crept around her waist to the small of her back and leaned his head forward to lay his ear against her stomach. He closed his eyes and smiled as he felt the gentle rollings of his child moving. He drank in the soft scent of the lotion he’d helped her rub into her skin the night before. He’d forgotten. He’d just plain forgotten this sweetness. Marko had been a kicker from the beginning. Danijela had always complained that he was destined to be a soccer star. It was so unexpected because Jasna had been different...not quite as strong...very small and feminine even before she was born. But this...having lost them, this was so, so sweet.
“Uh, Luka...I need to go,” she said. His hands tightened gently.
“No...stay,” he sighed, not lifting his head. “The boss is telling you it’s all right to be late today.”
“Well, Pratt won’t appreciate that. He has been on duty all night,” Abby complained. “Come on...let me go. I need to take a shower.” Luka’s eyes suddenly opened wide. He drew back and looked up at her.
“Shower?” he said with a lecherous grin. Abby laughed and tossed the bag of frozen peas onto the bed as she turned toward the bathroom. Luka jumped up and ripped his tee shirt over his head as he raced her to the bathroom door.
They rode the El into work together. Luka headed up early for an administrative staff meeting and Abby signed in at the ER admit desk. Pratt was grilling the incoming interns from the board. She listened to the rapid exchanges and then took one of the clipboards he was handing around.
‘They are all yours, Abby-girl,” Pratt said as he yawned. ‘Morris is with a patient and I am out...of...here. Have a good one, people.” Chuny glanced at the chart Abby held in her hand.
“Ah...bounce back stomach flu,” Chuny said. “It’s the third one since I came on. Looks like it’s going to be a long day.” Abby rolled her eyes and headed off to a curtained area with an intern close behind her.
The staff meeting was longer than he expected and Luka was tired of haggling over reports and schedules. He checked the board at the admittance desk and spoke to Jerry. Then he’d locked himself in his small office down in the ER to go over the paperwork that had been handed to him at the meeting. Insurance regulations. How he hated that stuff. So many of the ER patients were nonpaying anyway. He sighed and tossed it aside.
Luka pulled his wallet from his back pocket and leaned back in his chair. He reached into a hidden pocket and pulled out a slightly tattered but carefully preserved photo. His eyes softened and a slight smile formed on his lips. He caressed the photo with his thumb. Danijela and Jasna at a 4th birthday party. It was the only picture that he had of them. He’d had a larger copy made from this print for a frame but it wasn’t as clear...as in focus as this little one was. That was funny. They were such a huge part of his past...what brought him to this place in his life...and the only physical reminder he had was this little square of photo paper. He had nothing of Marko...just the images that he could bring forth from his memories whenever he wanted to. He wondered - sometimes - if the things he remembered had really happened or if he just made them up because he wanted those memories to be there. He slipped the picture back into it’s hiding place and flipped through the photo insert until he found her picture. Luka smiled fondly. He’d taken the photo just last week. It was warmer so they’d gone for a walk at the top of the Navy Pier after an early dinner. The wind had been blowing and her top was hugging her belly. She had been trying to get him to try the ferris wheel with her so there was a sly grin on her face. She didn’t like him snapping pictures of her so he’d been lucky to have caught such a good one.
Abby. She had been his rescuer more times than he could count. She had always been there to catch him...except for the awful days when he’d actually given up looking for a new life and had used many women to ease his sadness. She’d been with Carter then and the inexplicable pain of that had eaten away at him. Gillian and Sam hadn’t touched that part of him that he’d thought had died with his family. Nicole certainly hadn't. But Abby had found it again. They’d had problems but somehow seemed to muddle through them every time. There was no more running away for either of them. He laughed with Abby. Deep, soul shaking laughs. And he loved the banter they could engage in. And there was so much to learn about her. Just when he thought he knew everything he’d find out something new. She’d been so angry when he’d sent in her medical school paperwork but he had been right to do it. He’d given her much needed self confidence and her dream. She was giving him a child...a chance to be a father again. It was his own dream. But even when he thought she’d decided not to carry it, he had still wanted her in his life. She was his life. His heart began to swell in his chest and he sighed. There was a tap on his door and Chuny stuck her head in.
“Luka, Morris said to tell you there is a multiple trauma coming in,” she said. “Preschool bus on a field trip. Could be kind of ugly.” He nodded and stood up. He shoved his wallet back into his pocket and strode out into the corridor. They were waiting when the ambulances pulled up. Luka followed Ray with a gurney carrying the injured driver. He stood back and watched Ray run the trauma snapping orders to the nurse and intern with him, ready to step in if he was needed. Morris was in the next trauma room with an injured teacher who kept insisting that she was fine...in spite of the blood pouring down her face from a scalp lac. Haleh appeared with gauze sponges to staunch the blood. He glanced out the door and saw Abby, Dori and Chuny headed toward the trauma room on the other side. They were each carrying two preschoolers. Luka saw them set the six youngsters on the bed and watched as Abby did a quick check of their shoulders and necks. She went from one to the other with an otoscope quickly checking eyes and ears as Dori slipped new covers on. He could hear them crying.
“Okay, Ray?” Luka asked.
“Got it,” Ray said confidently. Luka moved toward Trauma 3 and Abby waved a hand to stop him.
“They’re fine,” she said. “The paramedics said they were all buckled into their seats. Doesn’t even appear to be any whiplash. We’re just waiting for parents to arrive. The school was calling them as they were being loaded in the ambulances.”
“We are lucky,” he said over the crying. “The other injuries look pretty minor as well.” The wails from some of the children grew louder and he went to a nearby telephone. He spoke to the volunteer office and requested an available candy striper to the ER to help. He watched as Abby put her stethoscope into the ears of one little boy and pressed the diaphragm to his Elmo shirt. He looked up at her with wide eyes and an open mouth. Chuny and Dori busied themselves comforting and playing with the others, trying to calm them. Abby grinned and moved the diaphragm to her own heart. She reached over to caress the cheek of a solemn little girl who was watching. Abby bent over and whispered something in the little girl’s ear and she giggled. Luka grinned slightly. Abby didn’t feel like she worked well with smaller children but they adored her. She was very good at making them comfortable. Abby picked Elmo up and he instinctively locked his legs around her waist. She carried him out of the trauma room still playing with her stethoscope. She stopped in front of Luka and he chucked the little boy under the chin and grinned.
“Ben!” someone called from the direction of the admit desk.
“Mommy!” cried the child in Abby’s arms. Luka looked up as a couple hurried toward them. The well dressed woman took her son from Abby and hugged him tight. His father brushed the back of the child’s head and sighed in relief.
“He’s fine,” Abby assured them as she untangled her stethoscope from the boy’s neck. “They all are fortunately.”
“Oh my god...Abby,” the boy’s father said as they turned their attention away from the little boy to her when she spoke. Abby looked at him in disbelief.
“Richard...” she breathed. His eyes traveled to the name that was embroidered over the pocket of her coat, ‘”A. Lockhart, M.D.”
“You did it,” he said quietly. “You finished med school.” He frowned slightly when his eyes traveled to her stomach. Abby pulled the jacket closed and folded her arms across her chest.
“Yes,” she said flatly. Her ex-husband nodded.
“Good,” he said. “Good for you. You look...great.” He put his arm around his wife and they headed back to the admit desk to officially claim their son.
“That was Richard?” Luka asked. “Haven’t seen him in a while.” Abby nodded as she watched them. Richard glanced back again, smiled a little sadly and waved.
“He is kind of.....smaller,” Luka said quietly. Abby looked up at him quizzically. Luka shrugged. She burst out laughing and Luka grinned. He kissed her forehead and pushed her back into the room with the other children.
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