Once again, thank you for great reviews! You guys really inspire me!
As usual, I've been really busy, so sorry about that!
This update didn't really become what I wanted it to, (it would be so much easier if I could just write in swedish! but that would probably cause some problem here!
) Anyway, here goes;
With you- Kovac, phone for you!
He put the chart down and cast a glance at the clock before taking the phone from Frank; only three more hours to go. He was missing his family like crazy already.
- Hello?
- It’s me. He’s been crying for hours straight, I don’t know what to do!
He could hear the tears in her voice, closing his eyes briefly. He wanted to take her pain away, right then and there, but knew he wouldn’t be able to. She would be just fine; as soon as she started to believe so herself. – I told you I would mess up, Luka!
- Abby, you’re not messing up!
- No? Then what do you call this?
- It’s not messing up!
- I’ve tried to understand what’s wrong with him, but I can’t! His breathing is normal, he doesn’t have a fever and he’s both fed and changed. Do you think he has colic?
He could hear his infant son wail in the background, the sound of Joe’s cries tugging at his heart. He could only imagine how Abby was feeling.
- Abby, try to calm down and listen to me. I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with Joe.
- He’s never cried like this before!
- I know, but I think your worry is making it worse.
She didn’t respond, only sniffled into the telephone.
- Maybe he actually has a stomach ace, but… Babies are extremely sensitive. He can sense that you are worrying, that something’s wrong, and therefore he can’t calm down. You need to believe that you won’t mess up.
- I don’t think that’s it. Maybe something really is wrong, and I’m just not…
- Nothings wrong! Babies cry sometimes, it’s not your fault! The only thing you need to change is the faith you have in yourself.
She was quiet for a long time before answering.
- I’m not sure I can do that.
- Yes, you can.
Once again, he was met with a long silence.
- Okay, I’ll try. See you soon.
He wasn’t sure if she was actually going to try and calm down, or if she considered it impossible and gave that answer just to calm him down. Either way, he knew she had made up her mind, involuntarily shutting him out again.
- Okay, I’ll be home as soon as I can.
- See you then.
- Abby! I believe in you.
- Yeah… Bye.
She whispered the last part, and then she was gone.
He stood a while with the phone in his hand afterwards, listening to the dial tone, before slowly putting the handle down. He had lowered his voice at the last part, and he wasn’t sure she had heard him over Joe’s cries. Frank had been standing beside him, listening to the conversation, and he wasn’t good at displaying his love in public. Neither of them really was. Still, he hated himself for that. She meant everything, so how hard could it be?
Too much baggage maybe; the more persons who knew about his happiness, the more persons there were to remind him of it if he lost it. There was a reason he hadn’t stayed in Croatia.
What really mattered was that she knew how much he loved her, and she did. Satisfied with that thought, he went back to work.
She was pacing the apartment in circles, bouncing her son softly. Joe’s infant cries was ripping her apart, but nothing she did seemed to calm him.
Luka had told her to believe in herself, but after a day like this, she didn’t have any self confidence left to do that. Her baby was hysteric, and she wasn’t able to comfort him.
She knew Luka was right; if she was calmer Joe would be calmer. Still, she couldn’t shake the feeling that something else that was wrong; something she hadn’t noticed.
Once again, she wished Luka would be there to calm her. Speaking to him over the phone had made things a little better, but most of all she just wanted him home. He often knew what to do, and if he didn’t, he at least managed to calm her to the point where she could think more logical. Right now, she was way past that point.
When Luka came home, he found Abby on the sofa, sitting completely still, their sleeping infant in her arms. She managed a smile at him, but the dark circles under her eyes caused her exhaustion to shine through.
- He fell asleep two hours ago, his fatigue finally taking over.
He stepped towards her and carefully eased himself down beside her, letting a hand rest on her thigh.
- Have you moved since?
- Nope.
He couldn’t help but smile at the somewhat absurd situation.
- Don’t smile! I have pins and needles in my arm, and have had so for over an hour!
He smiled even wider, he really couldn’t help himself.
- Luka! Abby hissed, but then let out a small giggle herself. It really was an absurd situation.
- I’ll take him for a while so you can rest, he said as he moved to take the baby.
- Don’t!
He looked up at her, startled.
- Please, just let him be for a while. He finally fell asleep; I don’t think I can take his crying so soon again.
He gave her a reassuring smile, moving his hand to stroke her thigh again. – Okay.
She smiled her half smile at him and gave him a little nod, before adverting her eyes to their baby.
- Listen, about tomorrow…
- Can’t we just deal with it then?
She smiled a small smile at him. – Maybe tomorrow will be better. Let’s just enjoy tonight.
He studied her, considering, but finally gave in. He moved closer and let his forehead rest against hers.
- Enjoy tonight.
He rubbed his nose against her softly before leaning in and giving her a sweet kiss. When he pulled back she let her head fall to rest on his shoulder, careful not to move the baby as she did so. He rested his head on top of hers and slowly reached out a hand to stroke their baby’s soft features.
Hopefully tomorrow would be a better day.