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Post by ERFanRach on Jun 21, 2007 20:28:59 GMT 10
Great Update!!!
Update Soon!!!
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Post by rangooner on Jun 21, 2007 21:39:09 GMT 10
Luka walked in the direction of the car park, followed by Tim and Jenny who gave each other a look of giddy excitement at the offer of a lift from Luka Kovac. LOL! That made me think of how much of a rock start Luka is to them And yeah, Abby couldn't possibly refuse the power of those 3. Hope she cheers up soon Great update!
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Post by smile90 on Jun 22, 2007 0:13:11 GMT 10
great update!! I hope that the three can make her feel a little bit better.. some friends and first of all some Chocolate, she must feel better soon!
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Post by *Natalie* on Jun 22, 2007 4:31:53 GMT 10
Great update natalie x
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Post by Real Dream on Jun 22, 2007 4:49:39 GMT 10
*trying to breath* Have been away for a few days and when I come back I have all this drama to absorb. Mymy!! It's so good I logged out of msn to read your fic with no one to disturb me yaaaayyyyy this fic is terrific and tim is my idol good job!!
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Post by catkin on Jun 25, 2007 19:20:02 GMT 10
thanks as always for the lovely compliments. enjoy! *** Luka, Tim and Jenny approached Abby’s front door, a hush has fallen over the three of them, each silently hoping she’d throw open the door and welcome them into her home like the wonderful friend she’s always been. But the lights in the house were turned off and the curtains were drawn, nothing about the outside of the little flat looked inviting. Luka turned to Abby’s friends who were following him towards the door, he flashed a quick smile, which came out a little more forced than he’d intended. He was nervous, afraid she wouldn’t answer the door, just like she hadn’t answered her phone. No matter what state she was in, unwashed, undressed, generally grumpy and anti-social all he wanted was to see her. They’d opted to buy her a box of chocolates as well as a bunch of flowers. There was no note, because they didn’t know what to say, they hoped the gifts would say it for them. Luka raised his hand slowly and uncertainly, fearing the inevitable silence he now believed was certain to come in response. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Nothing, not a stir. He glanced back at Tim and Jenny before knocking again, harder and for longer. They all waited with breaths held, but there was nothing. Nothing to give them hope. Nothing to even say she was in there, though they all knew she was. After a solid minute of waiting for a reply that never came Jenny piped up, “doesn’t she have a doorbell? Maybe she can’t hear the knocking...” Luka shook his head. “she used to have a doorbell, it was there when she moved in...it played the British national anthem. She said it annoyed her so much that one day she hit it with a hammer, then never got round to fixing it.” Tim laughed, “typical Abby. That girl needs some serious anger management advice.” Him and Luka grinned at each other, both amused by Abby’s tendency to burst into fits of rage. It was something they both loved about her, and being reminded of it made it all the more pressing that they should see her today. So Luka turned back to the door and knocked again, then he bent down to the letterbox and pushed it open. He peered into the dark little flat, looking around for any trace of life within. “do you see anything?” “no...it’s to dark.” He sighed and shifted into a kneeling position before speaking into the letterbox opening “Abby? Abby it’s me, it’s Luka. Listen, I know you said you wanted some space, but I was worried about you...we all were. I’m here with Tim and Jenny. We don’t want to stay long, we just want to see you. Abby? We miss you...” he waited for a minute, watching the flat for any movement, but there was none. He stood up and moved back, letting Tim take his place in front of the letter box. “Abby its Tim. We got chocolate for you Abby, you know you want the chocolate. It’s good stuff too, none of your cheap crap.” Tim tutted and shook his head “you do realize that kneeling on the floor like this is completely ruining my designer jeans. I’m not happy about it Abby. Hey come on...you can’t stay locked away forever, Luka will forget what you look like and I may even succeed in turning him. He won’t be able to resist my manly charms.” Luka looked down at Tim with a confused frown, making Jenny giggle. Tim sighed and stood up, “do you wanna give it a go Jen? She’s being extra stubborn...” Jenny nodded and leant down for her turn at shouting through the letter box, leaving Tim and Luka to give each other a slightly embarrassed smile after Tim’s joking. “Hi Abby. We um...we jus want you to know that we love you. We all do. You’re our favourite American. We like you even more than Madonna. We know you probably feel like crap, and you probably want us to piss off...so we’ll just leave the flowers and the chocolate out here for you. You can take them in when we’ve gone. As soon as you’re ready for some company we’ll be here in a flash... Bye-bye.” Jenny stood up and smiled sadly at the two men with her. Luka put the flowers and the chocolates on the step and took one last glance through the letterbox, before following Tim and Jenny down the road, back to his car. *** Abby listened to her friends as one by one they shouted through to her from outside. The sound of Luka’s voice had woken her up, she felt a twinge of pain at the sadness in his voice, but she couldn’t bear to see him. She couldn’t bear to see anyone. She needed time. So she lay there and just listened. Tim’s joke about turning Luka brought a smile to her face. It was the first time she’d smiled since seeing Richard in the canteen, it felt unnatural on her face. She somehow couldn’t allow the happiness to reach her, the warmth she should have felt at hearing about the gifts they’d bought her was only momentary. Once it was gone she felt as though she’d done something wrong. Like being happy was a crime. She knew what it was, this was exactly the way she’d felt after Richard had disappeared. Happiness made her feel sick. She’d stopped watching TV because the comedy shows upset her, as if the trivial joys of life were a mockery. As if her happiness was somehow disrespecting the seriousness of reality. She became afraid to smile, and it had taken a long time to get over that. Now here it was again. She didn’t feel deserving of their care, of their love. As Jenny spoke, with her soft maternal voice, a tear rolled down Abby’s face. She was terrified of hurting them, hurting these beautiful people who loved her enough to shout through a letterbox into a silent building. Even though she knew deep down that by ignoring them she was hurting them, she couldn’t bring herself to see sense and move. Her broken heart wouldn’t let her open the door and greet them all with the hugs and smiles they deserved. She was doing it again, shutting out the world. Protecting herself from it, and protecting the world from herself. This was the worst thing that Richard had done to her. He had shattered her ability to trust herself. And here she lay, tucked up in her bed waiting for her friends to leave her alone. She heard the voices stop and stared at the clock, watching the seconds turn into minutes and the minutes pass by until half an hour had gone since the last word from Jenny. Then she kicked off her duvet and stood up. Shuffling to the door and hesitating, just in case someone was out there. But even her friends wouldn’t wait that long. She opened the door slowly and looked down at the flowers and chocolate. She didn’t smile, though it did send a flip of joy through her insides. She regretted it now. She wished she’d let them in, but she knew she couldn’t. not now, maybe not for a long time. So she picked up the bunch of colorful flowers, as well as the box of chocolates and with one last glance at the busy, dangerous, frightening outside world she shut her front door and went back to bed. ***
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Post by goldilocks on Jun 25, 2007 23:40:40 GMT 10
lovin' it =] updaaaaaaaaate please ?
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Post by rangooner on Jun 26, 2007 2:09:55 GMT 10
that was a depressingly beautiful display of friendship... wonder if that made sense at all 8-)really do hope abby cheers up soon! can't wait for things to improve... great update
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Post by charlie on Jun 26, 2007 2:16:17 GMT 10
Love It!!! Update Very Soon!!!
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Post by ERFanRach on Jun 26, 2007 5:43:52 GMT 10
Great!!!
Update Soon!!!
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Post by *Natalie* on Jun 26, 2007 7:14:15 GMT 10
Great update Hope Abby feels better soon natalie x
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Post by maggie on Jun 26, 2007 15:32:19 GMT 10
“you do realize that kneeling on the floor like this is completely ruining my designer jeans. I’m not happy about it Abby." That sounds exactly like any member of my gay posse at work. Sadly, I discovered every man I work with is either gay or creepy. And all of them wear designer jeans.
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Post by catkin on Jun 29, 2007 2:24:29 GMT 10
***
A week passed and there was still no reply from her phone. Luka had given up leaving messages, but he hadn’t given up on Abby, not in the slightest. He was worried for her, and he missed her, more than he would have thought possible. The whole situation was driving him crazy. He was forgetting things in class, missing meetings and losing student’s work. But every day he went to her flat, some days with Tim and Jenny, some days on his own. Every day he shouted through the letter box, at first just asking her if she was ok, trying to persuade her to open the door. But with no reply to the questions he decided to try a different tactic. He told her about his day, knowing somehow that she was listening. A few times he’d heard her moving around in the flat, but she hadn’t replied. He was scared, but he didn’t know what else to do. She needed time, and he’d give her time, but he wouldn’t leave her on her own. If anything, he needed her. He wandered through the college hall in the main building, his mind a blank. Lack of sleep and over worrying were making it difficult to focus. He jumped as he heard a voice calling him from the other end of the corridor. It was Pam, and she didn’t look very happy. “Mr. Kovac could we have a word?” He smiled a yes and followed her into her office. Pam held out a hand to indicate that Luka should sit opposite her. He looked at the chair then back at Pam, “it’s ok actually. I’d rather stand.” Pam blinked, a little put out at his attitude. She sat in her chair and stared up at the tall Croatian man. “Mr. Kovac, as much as I try to keep out of the personal lives of my staff, I find that some of you are less subtle than others with your...relationships...and I am aware, as most of the college seems to be that you and Ms Lockhart are...involved with one another.” Luka nodded, “yes. What’s that got to do with anything?” “Well you see, when Abigail left my office last week she announced a desire not to return...” “What?! That’s ridiculous!” “her exact words, Mr. Kovac were “I quit” but, in spite of what you may think of me I am not a monster. I understand that the unfortunate events that took place that day must have been very hard for her, and she is perfectly entitled to some time off to recover. I am taking her little outburst as a result of the trauma which she may not have entirely meant. However...” “Look, Abby loves her job. She was upset, she still is, but she’s strong...” “however,” Pam continues with a glare in response to Luka’s outburst. “If she doesn’t at least get in contact with the college I cannot keep her job open for her. She’s a good teacher, one of our best, I’d hate to lose her, but if she isn’t here there’s not much I can do. Someone has to teach those children.” Luka nodded, his face crumpled in panic at the idea that Abby may be about to lose her job. “I understand...but...surely you could get a supply teacher, just while she gets over this.” “Like I said Mr. Kovac, we can get temporary staff, but if she doesn’t let us know when or if she plans to return I’ll have to look for a more permanent replacement. Now my secretary has left messages with her, but so far has been unable to contact her. If you two are as close as everyone suggests, then I expect she’d rather talk to you than me. Let her know this is important Luka.” Luka stared at Pam, wanting to argue with her but knowing there was nothing he could say. She was right, Abby couldn’t stay away much longer and hope to still have her job. He had to convince her to open up, it wasn’t just for him now, it was for her career. And yes, she could get work elsewhere, but the idea of them never working together again filled him with sorrow. With a sad nod he walked out of Pam’s office.
***
It was three in the afternoon and Abby had only just woken up. Her sleep was so disturbed she barely knew when it was night or day. But it didn’t matter; she hadn’t left the house for a week. In fact she’d barely left her bed. She didn’t feel like eating or reading or watching TV, and somehow it hadn’t been bothering her. She wasn’t bored or hungry, just tired. More than tired; exhausted. So exhausted that it didn’t seem like she’d ever get up again, it was like seeing Richard with that knife had broken her. Whatever bravery or stupidity had been keeping her afloat before had been pierced. But today she felt different. Today she woke up and the bed felt lumpy, her unwashed hair stuck to her scalp, itching and unpleasant. And worst of all she was hungry. Her stomach growled loudly and she leapt to her feet, pulling her dressing gown around her to seek out some food. There was hardly anything in the house, she’d been living off a loaf of bread and the occasional can of fruit all week, and now even those little luxuries were gone. She found a tin of baked beans in the back of a cupboard and poured them into a saucepan. Sitting down at the kitchen table while they simmered away behind her she let her head rest in her hands. She was still groggy, her head felt fuzzy, but a few thoughts were clearer. Luka had been to see her every single day, snippets of what he’d said came back to her and she smiled. Then because she was smiling she cried, once the tears had started they wouldn’t stop. She rushed through the flat holding her face searching for a box of tissues and finally slid to the floor in the bathroom. They say time flies when you’re having fun, what they neglect to tell you is that it also flies when you’re sitting in a miserable heap on your bathroom floor trying desperately to stop a flood of tears. She wasn’t sure how long she sat there for, but her mind wandered, fuzzy thoughts escaping her body. She hadn’t dreamt in the last week, every snatch of sleep was a restless uncomfortable few minutes interspliced with waking memories of Richard. The look in his eyes, the sound of his voice. The knife, it usually came back to the knife. She wasn’t sure exactly why it shocked her so much, she’d always considered him a danger to himself, and he’d been violent in the past. But still, the idea of him thinking it through, planning his way into the college, concealing that weapon in order to use it to get his own way. The whole thing froze her, there could be no dreaming, no real sleep. She was exhausted and completely without energy but processing it all seemed to be draining her more and more. But of course, Richard wasn’t a calculative person. He was ill, it was as simple as that, the knife was a moment of weakness and in the end he didn’t actually use it. Abby sat on the bathroom floor, no longer crying, feeling a little lighter. Her mind had wandered without coming across Richard, it was a good sign, she felt just a tiny bit more alive and it made her smile. The smoke alarm snapped her from her moment of happiness and she stood up unsteadily to go and turn it off. The beans were burnt. Blackened and bubbling in the bottom of the saucepan, she stared at them for almost a full minute. They seemed so pathetic, so incredibly inedible. A smile spread across her lips and she laughed. It was an odd tinny sound that almost shocked her. She’d gotten so used to the sound of silence, her own voice seemed a distant memory. She didn’t know why she was laughing, but it didn’t feel too bad. It wasn’t a manic laugh, or one preceeding a barrage of tears, it was a laugh of relief. As she threw the saucepan into the bin (she’d learnt long ago that some things were beyond cleaning) she felt freed by the ridiculous turn of events leading to the worst baked beans ever cooked. With no more food in the house, and her stomach still angrily empty she knew she had to go out. Face the world once more, even if it was just for a loaf of bread.
***
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Post by rangooner on Jun 29, 2007 2:44:17 GMT 10
yay! things are starting to look better for our dear lady great chpt describing her thoughts and feelingd update soon!
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Post by ERFanRach on Jun 29, 2007 3:24:15 GMT 10
Great Update!!!!
Please get her out soon and talking to Luka!!
Update Soon!!!
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