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Post by strizzy on Sept 5, 2006 7:43:02 GMT 10
If Carter's happy with Lucy, then why is he acting like Abby's cheating on him? He's the one who left her in the first place isn't he?
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Post by jadestar on Sept 5, 2006 16:04:25 GMT 10
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Post by bostongirl on Sept 6, 2006 6:13:24 GMT 10
I know it's confussing...but I am a confussing person....so the story's will alway's be a bit confussed. And I have a bad day… “Wake up Abby, wake up.” She heard Luka’s voice somewhere, real close. “Luka?” She swallowed and tears were running down her cheek. “Abby it’s fine, I’m right here with you.” “Luka Carter was here, look at the door Luka he bounced it” Abby kind of panicked. “Nothing happened Abby you just had an awful nightmare. Come, come to bed.” “O Luka it was just so real. I can’t go to bed I need to work the early shift.” She said and crawled into his arms. Just feeling his arms around her and his body close to hers gave the rest she needed. ”Well we could discuss baby names if you like?” He needed to get her mind of that nightmare or it will break her down just like months ago. Months ago she broke down because Maggie hung herself and Abby found her. She was so fragile but also strong. She helped her brother Eric with every thing she could. But the nights were bad, real bad. She had the most horrible nightmares and screamed to every one who came around her. “Yeah we could, just need to fresh myself I look like a mess.” She stood up and walked towards the bathroom. “Right what do you think of Mag, Maria, Marra or something?” “No Luka that’s not a right name for this child.” “Uhm…Helen, Vicky, Blossom, Christel, help me Abs I don’t know!” “Christel sounds lovely. What about boy’s names? Michael? Mark? Joseph?” “Joseph I love that!” “So it will be Christel if it’s a girl and Joseph if it’s a boy.” She smiled but he saw she was in pain. Inside he knew this wasn’t over yet. “Morning Abby, how are you?” Asked Susan when Abby made her way into the ER. “Fine, but leave me alone please.” “Well some one didn’t had a good night sleep.” Yelled Pratt out of the lounge. “Shut up Pratt and just let me do my job and let me go home after wards.” She yelled back. Entering the lounge she opened her locker and put on her lab coat. “Abs, what’s going on?” Asked Neela who was right behind her. “Nothing Neela just leave me alone.” She said with tears in her eyes. “Think it’s better…” Neela had no change finishing her line. “Leave me alone Neela or are you deaf? Just leave me alone!!” She yelled. Neela was shocked Abby had never yelled at her before, she was always there for Abby and backwards. Please not again, she can’t handle this again…thought Neela. “Exam 2 needs you Abby.” Said Kerry when she found Abby outside in the ambulance bay sitting on the bench. “I’ll be there in a minute.” Abby said with a piece in her throat. “Everything ok?” “Yeah I’m fine thanks Kerry.” And again she fought against her tears. It's short but I had to go back to school today....i'm off tomorrow so i'll update a larger one then. Will be good I think...allready have something in my mind...
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Post by xbostonxbabyx on Sept 6, 2006 6:50:09 GMT 10
Great update!!!
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Post by strizzy on Sept 6, 2006 7:14:09 GMT 10
Great update!
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Post by jadestar on Sept 6, 2006 18:25:26 GMT 10
great - can't wait for an update!
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Post by bostongirl on Sept 8, 2006 6:05:53 GMT 10
I’ve fought the battle once before…
“Jerry, can you give me Luka’s number please?” Asked Kerry when she came back inside. She felt Abby wasn’t fine. “Luka, It’s Kerry. Could you come over I need to talk with you.” Said Kerry when Luka picked up the phone. “What’s wrong Kerry? Something happened with Abby?” “Not really Luka but I think it’s better if you could come.” “I’ll be there in 15 minutes.” “I’ll be in my office. Bye.” And Kerry hung up the phone.
“Abby, could you call the OR?” Asked Pratt. “You can do that yourself, I’m not one of the nurses.” She answered with an angry tone in her voice. “Sorry!! Thought this was your patient.” “I don’t give a damn.” She turned around and walked towards the lounge. No, not again. I can’t do this once more..why me? She asked herself with tears in her eyes. “Jerry can you say to the others that I’m not feeling well and I’ll be in the lounge to work on paperwork.” “Yeah it’s fine Abby.”
In the meantime in Kerry’s office. ”Luka, it’s about Abby. I’ve got this feeling that’s she’s not quit herself at the moment. Is there something I need to know?” “I know. She had this nightmare were Carter bounced in to the door. And I think she’s just not in a state of working. But she doesn’t listen.” He knew this wasn’t good, he felt like he be trait her. But he wanted for her to be ok. “So, she’s back on the nightmares, screaming to her colleagues and crying in the ambulance bay. It’s back isn’t it?” “I think so. I just wish I could do something to give her a bit of stability in to her life, a bit of courage to hang on to but what ever I do she just can’t get over.” “It wasn’t nothing what happened Luka. I mean this isn’t something you forget in a few month or a year. This will make her how she’s coming to be in the future. It’s not Abby anymore. She’s not the doctor whom loved her work and her patient. Right now she’s a bitch.” “So what will you do Kerry?” Don’t dismiss her, she’s not worth that. “I think, for her own best, it’s a wise decision to take therapy. And if she doesn’t agree I need to discharge her, and that’s something I really don’t want to do. But this is not good for the ER and her colleagues.” “I know.” “I’ll call Jerry to send her up.”
“Abby?” Asked Jerry when he entered the lounge. “Yeah.” She answered back, looking up from her paperwork. “Kerry called if I wanted to send you up.” “Thanks.” Why, why would she wants to speak to me? I’m a good doctor, or not? I’m a nice colleague, or not?
Kerry’s door was open and Abby walked inside. “Luka? What the hell are you doing here? I thought you had the day off?” She said when she saw Luka sitting in Kerry’s office. “Abby please take a seat, we need to talk to you.” Said Kerry. “You allready did I asume. So just tell me what you want Kerry.” Said Abby. Don’t discharge please, I’ll be a good doctor again I promiss. “Well, we think it’s for your own best to follow some therapy counseling Abby. I know you think you’re better but you are yelling at colleaques and mumbering towards our patients. And that’s not what we want and not what you want. I know that you are a really good doctor and a really good person but at this moment you aren’t the Abby we know.” “I know. But I’ll be better in a few days. I didn’t slept that well that’s all.” Was Abby’s excuse. “Abby come on face it. You know what’s happening.” Said Luka when he laid his hand on her knee. Don’t Luka....I don’t wanna cry in front of Kerry. I have to be strong. “It’s....it’s back I think.” There it was loud and clear, she finnaly admitted that something was wrong. “Abby, I’m happy in a way that you can say this out loud. I’ll hope you will take therapy counseling cause I don’t want to lose you, as person and as doctor.” Said Kerry. “I’ll do it. I need it otherwise this kid will grow up with a f**ked up mom. And I don’t want to that to her or him.” She said with tears in her eyes. “Right, we will make some arrangements and I’ll call you when it’s done.” “Thanks Kerry for not disscharge me.” And she stood up. Luka followed her and they walked out of the office. “Abby, goodluck.” Said Kerry, she turned her head towards Kerry and gave her a weak smile. “Thanks.” And they were gone.
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Post by hollygirl on Sept 8, 2006 6:35:53 GMT 10
Great update! but..whats back? am I missing something?
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Post by bostongirl on Sept 8, 2006 7:10:51 GMT 10
You'll find out soon..just wait and you will see, well read..
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Post by bostongirl on Sept 8, 2006 8:37:13 GMT 10
This isn't a normall update..... This is a letter Abby wrote to the staff of the ER before she’s leaving.
My story,
Dear gang,
I’m writting this letter to all of you cause I’m not able to say it face to face.
When you feel hope is gone and everything's wrong everything you do creates a storm hold on, hold on
I allready started writting this letter 12 times but in a way I just can’t really find the right words. But I need to give you something....so this is my last try.
When the worlds gone mad you're living in a frown everything you do is taking you down hold on, hold on.
As you all know I’m not myself lately....I’m not the doctor I want to be, not the colleaque I want to be, not the friend and lover who I want be. It’s a mess in my head. It’s like there’s this open wound that won’t heal. So I’m going to work on that and won’t be around for a while. It’s not goodbye, just think that I’m on a long vacation, I’ll be back before you know.
Cause love's just around the corner living a heart-beat away love's just around the corner and when it comes, when it comes it's going to stay
Who’s Abby... At the moment a bitch. Really I see that for myself. I scream at my most beloving family, yeah that’s you guys. All of you were there for me when things weren’t going well. You all helped me when I was fighting against my mom and brother. And you all have been there when my mom commited suicide, even when I was not myself right there.
When you feel so alone you can't believe she's gone your friends try and tell you it's time to move on hold on, hold on
Months have past, and still I’ve got this thing on my mind that’s making me sick. (Yeah at the moment it’s most the pregnancy I quess.) Last week I had a nightmare and it all came back. Everything.
Right....need to say this, will be hard but I need. I’m having a temporary nervous breakdown. Allthough temporary seems forever. I’m taking meds but they make me sleepy, so I skipp them sometimes and then I’m Abby the Bitch. But now I’m pregnant I can’t take the meds any longer so the Bitch will stay. And that’s something that will only heal by talking about the pain.
'Cause love's just around the corner living a heart-beat away love's just around the corner and when it comes, when it comes it's going to stay
And yes I know you all want to listen to me, help me, support me and do everything that your able to do for me. But that won’t help. I need to have a break and I have to talk about it with someone who can really help me. So pleasse don’t think I’m leaving you all, I’m really coming back.
Not go away not go away love's just round the corner just a heart-beat away
Luka will give Jerry a adress to send postcards or fruitbasketts or any thing. But don’t come to visit me, I really don’t want that.
My dearest friends I’ll miss you all. And just remember that when I’m back the real Abby is back.
Take care, Yours Abby.
Ps. Suz....please don’t cry be strong. I am!!
lyrics from Flowers in the wasteland by Lisa Chappell.
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Post by jadestar on Sept 8, 2006 16:02:46 GMT 10
great update - hope Abby's going to be okay! BTW wonderful song, I love this one
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Post by bostongirl on Sept 8, 2006 20:14:19 GMT 10
I'm in writing mood so yet another update!!! @ Jadestar, Lisa Chappell is a great singer and writer!! I totally love her.
It’s only a couple of weeks since Abby left. Luka had a hard time taking her cause at the last moment she made up her mind and didn’t want to go. He convinced her that it was for her one best and that he would come in to see her as fast as he could.
LUKA Luka woke up and looked at the empty spot next to him in their wide bed. He missed her in the mornings, the afternoons and the evenings but at night he missed her the most. He missed her head on his chest, her hands on his stomache. Her lips on his, her smell, her words. He just missed her.
The telephone rang and Luka answerd. “Morning, it’s Chuck. I’ve some news for you.” “Morning yourself. What’s the news?” “Susan delivered a beautifull baby girl. 6pound and only 34centimeters.” Luka heard Chuck’s pride in his voice. “Congratualtions to both of you!!” “Thanks, but Susan asked if you could come over. She wants to tell you something.” “I’ll be there in a hour. I just woke up.” “Right I’ll tell here that. See you.” “Bye.”
After he hung up the phone his thought were back on Abby. What would she be doing right now...what would she wear, how would she smell. He needed to visit her and he was planning to get Susan and the baby with him. That would make her smile.
Luka arrived at Susan’s appartment and Chuck was standing outside smoking. “She’s in the bedroom.” “Thanks. “Hey mom congratulations! Let me see the princess.” “Thanks Luka. Isn’t she the most beautiful child in the world?” Said Susan with those little sparks in her eyes. “Yeah she is. So what up your mind? Chuck said you wanted to tell me something?” “Yup, it’s about her name. We thought Abigail would be a good name for her. And I only wanted to tell you that so you could tell it to Abby, we allready have a picture taken for her so if you’re going to visit her you can tell her something nice.” Susan had tears in her eyes. This was something she wanted to share with her best-friend. She missed Abby like hell. “I will Susan. But you could tell it herself. I thought it would be nice to visit her in a few day’s and I thought it would be great for her to see the baby and you.” Luka laid his arm around Susan, he knew this was also hard for her. “Think so. What about Friday?” “Friday is fine. I’ll pick you up at 10 allright?” “Yeah that’s fine. Luka thanks for coming over, you know I appriciate that.” “I do Susan. But I got to go. Work is calling.” “Right, say hi to every one. Thanks again.” “Your welcome, and I’ll see you Friday.” “Bye.”
Abby. My scedule is tight. At 7 they wake me up and they pump in something called breakfast. I’m not used to eat something before noon. After that I’m allowed to take a shower for only 10 minutes and god that’s awfull short. The days are always the same. Grouptherapy, creativetherapy and a little self therapy. Then there are the nights. I don’t sleep cause all I can do is think about him. I miss him so much he can’t even imagine.
Yesterday I had a letter from Suz, o god I just hope she’s doing fine. She wrote that she misses me. I miss her too. She’s my best-friend a long lost sister. I just wish I’ll be back before she’s going to delivre her baby. I need to be there with her. “Good Afternoon Dr. Lockhart.” Said Dr. Mitchells. “Hello”. “Ready?” “Yeah I think so.” “So Dr. Lockhart you are here now for a few weeks. Can you tell me what you miss the most? Or who?” “Sure I can. I miss my work, my colleaques and my freedom. And I miss my Luka and Susan.” “And what does it mean that you miss them? Do you just miss talking to them or what?” “It’s not only talking. I just miss them being around. I can’t stand it that Susan is almost going to deliver her baby without my support. And I miss it that I won’t be able to pick out baby stuff for my own baby. I miss going out with Luka, sleeping with Luka just everything with Luka. I hate it that I can’t shower for an hour or so. Just little things you know.” “I get it. Well I’ve got some news. This Friday you’re allowed to have your first visit. So you can hold on to that.” “Thanks! That’s so great!” I smiled. For the first time I’m in I smiled! And from that moment I knew I would be ok.
Chuck called, he cryed. Susan deliverd her baby, it’s a girl!! I hate it that i wasn’t there for her. Chuck said she couldn’t get to the phone causse that would be too much right now, o’god I miss her. I wrote this little poem for the baby girl.
the day glitters you are born secured in generous hands no moment more without you
audibly visible you are here new life family tender and tremendously unforgettable
your way lies open to be a human of love live your life each day always more
go on a path as lift you'll come over ups and downs be a friend make choices as everything is blury there will be protection around you
Girl, You are beautifull Just the way you are.
poem written by myself.
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Post by steffi1986 on Sept 8, 2006 23:17:26 GMT 10
oh wow really great fic, I really love it please update soon
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Post by strausser on Sept 8, 2006 23:34:43 GMT 10
update now don't leave us hanging!
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Post by jadestar on Sept 9, 2006 0:08:55 GMT 10
I'm in writing mood so yet another update!!! @ Jadestar, Lisa Chappell is a great singer and writer!! I totally love her. yeah bostongirl I totally agree on that. and she's an incredible actress as well she was on McLeod's Daughters and the series was never the same again after she left I love your update, it's great
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