My name's Kovac, I'm from Croatia

[Chephren]

Hi guys, first try for me. I don't know where it comes from nor where it goes, so I'm writting it and, well, you tell me.

Hope you won't be mad at me for the language matter... I'm not practising english for long. Anyway, I give it a shot, go easy on me... It's very very short, I know, but I probably am as drunk as he is, so I'll be writting trough the night so maybe...

I don't own anything and all...



MY NAME'S KOVAC, I'M FROM CROATIA




Hey! How are you doin'? What? Look, I can't hear you, come over here or talk louder! No, No! I'm ok! More than ok! I'm great actually. Oh come on! don't make that face... I told you I was fine... Oh, ok, let say I'm drunk. And? Do you care? Well, you shouldn't. Really! Listen, I had a bad day ok? Yeah, well, thanks, I know pretty well what I look like but hey, it's not like if someone was waiting for me huh? So, I can look as hell as I want, and no, you won't take me back home. Now, get away from me! Just leave me alone will ya? You're a jerk, you know that? You're taking all the fun out of it. Here, see? It's boring now. So I'm going home, but, I'm telling you, this is NOT because of you! No way. and no, don't get started with that. I'm not joking, leave it alone. Please. No, don't. Not tonight. I can't, and I won't. I'm warning you. Not kidding this time. Be careful. By the way, why? Why are you doing this to me? Why? Ah! Tough question huh? You're pretty embarrassed now hey? You can't even think of any explanation, now, can you? I knew it. Torture. That' what it is about. Torturing me. I'm just a toy for you, aren't I? And I guess you LOVE playing. Well, I've a big news for you. I'm tired of your little games. I won't play anymore. Keep yelling, I'm not listening. Nope, It's too late... Sooooorry. You should have though of it earlier darling. I'll do it, whatever you say, or do. You won't keep your promises. I know you by now. Save it! I can already feel peace getting over me. It feels good I guess. Relieving. Oh please, stop banging. I told you, it's too late. God!! You won't even let me leave in silence! Stop it already!

- LUKA!

Ohhhhhhh ohhhh hoo no! Don't use her! It won't work any more, so leave her out of this. It's just you and me.

- LUUKa !!!

toooo late, I told you. See, my eyes, they are closing now. And I welcome darkness.

- LU-KAAAA !!!!!

Here, you're fading? finally, I won. Thanks for the compagny over the years.

[Chephren]

Ok, guys, never mind!
I'm updating anyway, the part I wrote during the night. Still sorry for any mystake with english language. I didn't find someone to read it before posting. Hope you'll forgive me












Hi there! My name's Kovac, I'm from Croatia. I don't know what you're thinking about right now, but, don't judge me too fast ok? I know I gave up, but really I did try everything before. honestly. Not that I'm proud, no. But, hey, really, I tried. Rha! what are they doing, I didn't believe it would have been so long. WHAT??? No, don't tell me that? Come on, this is so impossible! How? What is she doing here? Damn it. I locked the door, yes? How does it come she still has a key? Get your hands of me, please. Hey you, instead of watching and doin' nothing, make her stop. Are you deaf or what? Stop reading that stupid thing! Make her leave. Come on, I'll do whatever you want if you help me get rid of her. Ok, I get it, you won't help. Nice. I'll remember that you know? Oh no, It's working.

Damned! I knew she'll be a great doc. Well a little to great actually. Ouch! Hey that hurt! Stop hitting my chest like that! Oh My! I never suspected she had so much strenght!


- LUKA! PLease, come on, stay with me!

Yeah, yeah... I heard, I've to go back heh? Wait, wait! Why I am wet? Wait!



Damn it. I'm hurting all around. My chest feels like if Jerry had been sitting on it for something like a month. I wonder if all my ribs are in their best shape. Then I remember the wet feeling. What the hell was that? As I am forced to take a short breath, I open my eyes. Damn light! I have to blink a few times, then all I can see is her face, starring at me. Her mouth is moving but I can't understand anything she says. She's checking on my pulse and as my breathing is still a little low, she bend over me to put her ear next to my mouth. She then turn her face toward me and I can see why my chest is wet. Her eyes are full of tears, they're rolling down on her face. I'm a crazy bastard, I never wanted to hurt her in any way! I felt her trying to move my limp body to my left side. She's havin a hard time, I can tell. But I can't stay awake any longer and I let myself slide back to sleep, feeling her hands on me, knowing that she would protect me and keep them away from me. At least for a little while, and that's all I'm asking for tonight.


When I come back into consciousness, my head is throbbing very hard and my stomach is a mess. I've got a tube down my throat and a monitor is beeping next to my head. The room is dark and empty. I remember Her above me and her tears. I never intended to make her cry. My eyelids are as heavy as ever. They keep shuting every now and then. I can't move my arms or legs. I'll just wait and see. Well, as if I had any kind of choice in that matter. I can't do anything but wait. and I'm so tired. Like if I havn't had a proper sleep in a couple of months. Well, not that false as I can remember. Let me think... Nope, two months and a half actually. It was last june, on the 13th. Hell! It was a friday! And as I slide back to sleep, everything comes back in my head, memories of that damned day.

It was near 8 a.m that morning when a young man entered the ER. I've been on for 2 hours already. It's been a hell of a wether and triage was almost clear by now. I walked though the room and noticed him, but hey, I NEEDED a coffee. Badly. He was sitting on a chair, his head dropped on his chest. Probably just stomachache. Nothing to rush for. And I needded to change. There had been a car crash about an hour ago and we reveived 2 victims. A women and her husband. His legs have been crushed by the motor, the weel was buried on his abdomen, causing several grave damage to his organs. spleen and liver mostly. We had to open his abdomen and believe me, you don't wanna know what a mess it was inside. Each time I sutured a vessel, something else cracked and more blood was coming over and over.

He didn't made it.

His wife kept screaming what we knew was his name. She was pregnant before the accident. Six months. Was. As we cut her bloody clothes, we saw a tiny foot coming out from her belly at the exact place where a piece of glass from the retro of the car had hit her. The pressure of the glass, wanting to get in and the baby's foot heading out kept the whole thing together, preventing her to bleed to death. The baby was already dead ( it was a little girl ). But we did save her.

Afterward, when she had been taken to surgery, I stayed in the now empty and messy room. Looking at the chart, filling and signing it. That's when I started wondering. Wondering what her life would be after that. After loosing her husband and their baby. I knew. I knew what it would be like. Been there before. Of course we will call psycs, and they'll make her talk about all of this. she'll be on some medication for a while. The first big step will be the return home. That empty appartment they got. she won't move; despite what her parents will tell her. She will stay right there, in that very same appartment, on that very same blvd. and she won't allow visitors to come in.

Not that they will come anyway, you know, people just don't know how to be around someone when something like this happens. They just don't know what to say, what to do, how to react. But it's not important to her because even if they tried to come checking on her, she won't let 'em in. No way. they could erase for a few minutes the smell of him that is still lingering here, reminding her of his presence. No she will stay alone, there, not crying that much, not screaming. She would sit in the kitchen's floor for hours, in the dark. Then she'll get to the not yet finished nursery, cuddling the last shirt he had put on. she will put an hand on her now so empty belly where, I had to tell her, there will never be life again. Then there will be the funerals. Big time. She won't be neither talking nor looking to anyone. Her eyes will be locked on the coffin and no one will ever understand why she won't be crying. But I do know. I know. But I wish I don't. You have no idea how much I wish that I don't.

[lylee]

Since I really loved the beginning of "Never the same", I decided to read your other fic; and I'm not disappointed. You describe perfectly mourning, emptiness people can feel after the death of a loved one.

I also love how you put together comedy and drama in the same part.

I really hope you're going to continue.

[kia]

Interesting... very very interesting.
I like you're writing from Luka's POV, and I'm really curious to see where you're going with the story.

Now, I read it again in order to find more and more details.