Post by luci on Mar 24, 2006 10:21:00 GMT 10
just this one-shot I wrote the other day. It's post 12.16 - Out on a limb. hope you guys like it.
The best feeling
I look out the El window on my way home. I’m looking but not really seeing. All of my thoughts are concentrated on this one fact. After all the stress caused by the two girls with meningococcemia and then arguing with Luka about taking the antidote or not, this thing happened, and it totally made me forget about all the bad things that had happened earlier. It just didn’t matter anymore. I felt my baby moving for the first time. It was so unexpected, so sudden, that it took my breath away. Literally. Right when I was seeing this really annoying, self-centered patient. I just couldn’t believe it. It was the most amazing feeling in the world.
A few weeks ago, after we got the amnio results, I told Luka that knowing that the amnio was ok made it much more real. Scratch that. This makes it much more real. I can feel my abby moving. And I know he’s ok. My baby. Even after five months, I can hardly believe that there’s a little person growing inside of me. My child. It’s like suddenly there’s this flurry of activity going on, like he’s woken up or something. Or she. We didn’t find out what the sex is. Luka wanted to, but I thought we should just wait and see. I think that at this point in life, life reserves just a few surprises for us, and this is one of them. I don’t really care anyway. As long as my baby’s healthy, that’s all I need.
I get off the El and head home… or Luka’s place. I don’t really know what to call it yet, because we haven’t decided anything. We sort of have this unspoken agreement since I’m practically living with him. But we haven’t really talked about it.
After I unlock the door, I throw the keys and my purse on the table and head straight to the bathroom to take a long, hot bath. About half an hour later, I make my way to the kitchen to make myself something to eat, meaning I’ll just grab whatever is in the fridge that baby is craving.
I settle for some chocolate ice cream and go to the living room with the container and a spoon. Before making myself comfortable on the couch, I open my purse and pull out the sonogram we got done today. I look at it as I sit on the couch. Look at that. My baby’s first picture. Do you see that, baby, I ask, with my hand on my belly, that’s your first picture ever. I bet your daddy will have it framed, not before making a dozen copies to show you off to everyone he knows, I say, gently rubbing my belly as I feel the baby moving around as if she knows I’m talking to her. I look at the sonogram a little longer, tracing every part of this little baby, who didn’t let us see if it’s a boy or a girl. I guess he agrees with me and wants it to be a surprise too.
I hear a sound, but it’s so distant, I can’t really make out what it is. Slowly, it becomes louder and I try to open my eyes, only to find this bright light, which makes me throw a hand over them. I try to open them again and this time I see it’s the TV on. I look around and see that somehow I got covered by a blanket. I sit up slowly and am about to get up when I hear Luka’s voice.
“Hey, you’re up.” He says, kissing my forehead.
“Hi.” I say with a smile as he sits down next to me and pulls me closer to him. “When did you get home?” I ask.
“A couple of hours ago.” He says, playing with my hair.
“Why didn’t you wake me up?”
“You looked so peaceful and after today’s scare, I thought you deserved a bit of rest.” He says. I stretch my arms and kiss his lips gently.
“How was the rest of your shift?”
“Uneventful, thank God.”
“That’s great.” I say taking his hand in mine. “Guess what.”
“What?” He asks resting his head on the back of the couch, with his eyes closed.
“I felt the baby move today.” I say and his eyes snap open and he sits up straight, making me giggle.
“Are you serious?” he asks, his eyes sparkling.
“Yeah.” I say with a smile.
“When did it happen?”
“I was still at the hospital, in the middle of a consult.”
“Why didn’t you tell me then?”
“You were pulled into a trauma, remember?”
“Oh, yeah.” He says, scratching his head. “Is he moving right now?” he asks, putting his hand on my belly.
“Yep.” I say happily. He smiles and I take his hand to where I’m feeling the baby move. “Feel it?”
“Not really.”
“There it is again. Did you feel it?” He looks at me with a bit of a pout on his lips and shakes his head. I caress his cheek and kiss him. “You’ll feel it soon enough. Maybe it takes a while, you know, until the baby gets a bit stronger.”
“Yeah.” He says and leans down to kiss my belly. “How does it feel?”
“Amazing.” I say with a big smile and he smiles back. “I can’t even describe it. And it makes it a lot more real, you know. And now I know that he’s really ok.” I say with my hand on his head, gently running my fingers through his hair.
“I can’t wait to feel it too.” He says kissing my belly once more. “Come on, baby, give daddy a kick. I know you can hear me.” He says and I feel the baby moving again.
“Keep talking, Luka, I think she likes your voice.”
“Is she moving again?” I nod and he chuckles. “So you like your daddy’s voice, huh? You know we can’t wait to see you, your mommy and I. And we love you so much, baby.” He says and the baby moves around a whole lot more.
“There it is!” I say excited. “And it was stronger too. Did you feel it?” He looks at me with a grin.
“I think I did, yeah.” He says, looking amazed. “It was pretty faint but I definitely felt something.” He says kissing me. “This is amazing, Abby.
“I know.” I say resting my head on his shoulder. “It’s the best feeling in the world.”
“Yeah.” He says and reaches out to get the sonogram on the coffee table. “Look how perfect our baby is.”
“Yeah, I know.” I say, smiling.
“You know we’re gonna have to frame this, right? And get copies too. I wanna send one to my dad.”
“Yeah, maybe I’ll send one to my mom and Eric.” He nods.
“Where do you think we should put it once it’s framed?” I shrug. “What do you say, baby?” he says to my belly. “It’s your first picture after all, I think you should have a say in this.” He says and I laugh, rolling my eyes at his goofiness. He’s adorable. See, told you he’d go crazy over the sonogram. I just knew it.
tell me what you think pls?
The best feeling
I look out the El window on my way home. I’m looking but not really seeing. All of my thoughts are concentrated on this one fact. After all the stress caused by the two girls with meningococcemia and then arguing with Luka about taking the antidote or not, this thing happened, and it totally made me forget about all the bad things that had happened earlier. It just didn’t matter anymore. I felt my baby moving for the first time. It was so unexpected, so sudden, that it took my breath away. Literally. Right when I was seeing this really annoying, self-centered patient. I just couldn’t believe it. It was the most amazing feeling in the world.
A few weeks ago, after we got the amnio results, I told Luka that knowing that the amnio was ok made it much more real. Scratch that. This makes it much more real. I can feel my abby moving. And I know he’s ok. My baby. Even after five months, I can hardly believe that there’s a little person growing inside of me. My child. It’s like suddenly there’s this flurry of activity going on, like he’s woken up or something. Or she. We didn’t find out what the sex is. Luka wanted to, but I thought we should just wait and see. I think that at this point in life, life reserves just a few surprises for us, and this is one of them. I don’t really care anyway. As long as my baby’s healthy, that’s all I need.
I get off the El and head home… or Luka’s place. I don’t really know what to call it yet, because we haven’t decided anything. We sort of have this unspoken agreement since I’m practically living with him. But we haven’t really talked about it.
After I unlock the door, I throw the keys and my purse on the table and head straight to the bathroom to take a long, hot bath. About half an hour later, I make my way to the kitchen to make myself something to eat, meaning I’ll just grab whatever is in the fridge that baby is craving.
I settle for some chocolate ice cream and go to the living room with the container and a spoon. Before making myself comfortable on the couch, I open my purse and pull out the sonogram we got done today. I look at it as I sit on the couch. Look at that. My baby’s first picture. Do you see that, baby, I ask, with my hand on my belly, that’s your first picture ever. I bet your daddy will have it framed, not before making a dozen copies to show you off to everyone he knows, I say, gently rubbing my belly as I feel the baby moving around as if she knows I’m talking to her. I look at the sonogram a little longer, tracing every part of this little baby, who didn’t let us see if it’s a boy or a girl. I guess he agrees with me and wants it to be a surprise too.
I hear a sound, but it’s so distant, I can’t really make out what it is. Slowly, it becomes louder and I try to open my eyes, only to find this bright light, which makes me throw a hand over them. I try to open them again and this time I see it’s the TV on. I look around and see that somehow I got covered by a blanket. I sit up slowly and am about to get up when I hear Luka’s voice.
“Hey, you’re up.” He says, kissing my forehead.
“Hi.” I say with a smile as he sits down next to me and pulls me closer to him. “When did you get home?” I ask.
“A couple of hours ago.” He says, playing with my hair.
“Why didn’t you wake me up?”
“You looked so peaceful and after today’s scare, I thought you deserved a bit of rest.” He says. I stretch my arms and kiss his lips gently.
“How was the rest of your shift?”
“Uneventful, thank God.”
“That’s great.” I say taking his hand in mine. “Guess what.”
“What?” He asks resting his head on the back of the couch, with his eyes closed.
“I felt the baby move today.” I say and his eyes snap open and he sits up straight, making me giggle.
“Are you serious?” he asks, his eyes sparkling.
“Yeah.” I say with a smile.
“When did it happen?”
“I was still at the hospital, in the middle of a consult.”
“Why didn’t you tell me then?”
“You were pulled into a trauma, remember?”
“Oh, yeah.” He says, scratching his head. “Is he moving right now?” he asks, putting his hand on my belly.
“Yep.” I say happily. He smiles and I take his hand to where I’m feeling the baby move. “Feel it?”
“Not really.”
“There it is again. Did you feel it?” He looks at me with a bit of a pout on his lips and shakes his head. I caress his cheek and kiss him. “You’ll feel it soon enough. Maybe it takes a while, you know, until the baby gets a bit stronger.”
“Yeah.” He says and leans down to kiss my belly. “How does it feel?”
“Amazing.” I say with a big smile and he smiles back. “I can’t even describe it. And it makes it a lot more real, you know. And now I know that he’s really ok.” I say with my hand on his head, gently running my fingers through his hair.
“I can’t wait to feel it too.” He says kissing my belly once more. “Come on, baby, give daddy a kick. I know you can hear me.” He says and I feel the baby moving again.
“Keep talking, Luka, I think she likes your voice.”
“Is she moving again?” I nod and he chuckles. “So you like your daddy’s voice, huh? You know we can’t wait to see you, your mommy and I. And we love you so much, baby.” He says and the baby moves around a whole lot more.
“There it is!” I say excited. “And it was stronger too. Did you feel it?” He looks at me with a grin.
“I think I did, yeah.” He says, looking amazed. “It was pretty faint but I definitely felt something.” He says kissing me. “This is amazing, Abby.
“I know.” I say resting my head on his shoulder. “It’s the best feeling in the world.”
“Yeah.” He says and reaches out to get the sonogram on the coffee table. “Look how perfect our baby is.”
“Yeah, I know.” I say, smiling.
“You know we’re gonna have to frame this, right? And get copies too. I wanna send one to my dad.”
“Yeah, maybe I’ll send one to my mom and Eric.” He nods.
“Where do you think we should put it once it’s framed?” I shrug. “What do you say, baby?” he says to my belly. “It’s your first picture after all, I think you should have a say in this.” He says and I laugh, rolling my eyes at his goofiness. He’s adorable. See, told you he’d go crazy over the sonogram. I just knew it.
tell me what you think pls?