As time goes by.
Luka.I wake up with the biggest smile spread across my half asleep face as I spin around memories of last night run through my mind the kissing, the touching, the naked flesh rubbing against each other under the stars then the all conversations about our past “Morning beautiful” I lean in to wake her with a morning kiss but my face hits the mattress.
I jump up quickly sitting up I look around her bedroom the bathroom door wide open and her robe is missing, I check the clock and it flashes 6.15 in bright red numbers “ok well maybe she’s making me breakfast in bed” I giggle to myself as I grab my jeans and do the belt up as I walk down the dark stairs.
“Hi.”
I see the dark shadow the noise came from holding a steaming mug “Hey babe” I make my way over to the light switch.
“No don’t please.”
Ok so maybe last night wasn’t as special for her as it was for me “Abby?” I lick my lips “Are you ok honey?” I walk over to the couch hearing her huff out aloud I sit a little away from her.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
I look at my hands then hers she’s still clinging onto the mug for warmth “was I hearing things last night when we said that we loved each other?” she huffs out aloud again this time standing up.
“No.”
My eyes follow her dark shadow as she walks around the lounge “ok well was I wrong to think maybe we mean it?” she stops and looks in my direction.
“Of course we meant it.”
I see her shadow put the steaming mug down on the side and decide to make my move “do you regret it?” I ask inches away from her I tilt her chin up to look my in the eyes the streetlight shines in and catches her tears.
“I never thought id love someone again let alone this much or this quickly, it just scares me.”
I rub her check wiping the stray tears as there fall down her face “you have nothing to fear Abby, what happened to just enjoying it” she leans forward and rests her forehead on my shoulder.
“Things like this don’t happen to people like me it’s just a matter of time before it all goes wrong and I hurt someone or get hurt.”
I push her back I don’t understand “people like you?” I make her look at me “your telling me smart, beautiful, caring and well simply amazing in every way doesn’t deserve to be happy? I kiss her nose.
“I’m a bad person.”
It falls out of her mouth that easy “bad person? I doubt that Abby” she is the sweetest person I know.
“What you told me about your past your family?”
She walks away picking her mug she clings to it again “yeah I told you everything” it got a little upsetting but I’m glad I told her.
“Well not only am I a drunk I’m a murder, I had an abortion.”
The words burn into my head “but you, you love kids Maddie is your life?” I don’t understand why she would do something like that.
“Not so caring, loving smart now huh? More like a selfish drunk.”
I don’t know what to say or do I just know I need some fresh air “I need some air” I tell her grabbing my shirt off the couch.
“Luka please don’t leave not like this, Luka….”
I slam the door shut behind me resting on it I bang my head “I can’t believe her I don’t know her at all” I take a deep breath and push off the door.