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Post by Cornflake Girl on Oct 8, 2006 12:54:55 GMT 10
I have NEVER EVER written a fan fiction in my life, in fact I hated English at school, but I had an idea and thought I would give it a go. I have only done one chapter, I wanted to see what people thought before I carried on, so please let me know what you think, be honest, I don't mind!
This is set at the conclusion of Dear Abby in season ten. I have included a scene from the episode in it and I may include other scenes from other episodes in other chapters if they serve the purpose of the story.
It is Better to have Loved and Lost...
Abby strode up towards the ICU ward with a sense of excitement and trepidation; she was thrilled to have Luka home. She had been unbelievably saddened and upset when the news broke of his ‘death’ in the Congo, truth be told she was more upset over that than her stupid fight with Carter and now that he had sent her a ‘dear John’ letter she actually felt a feeling of relief like a weight had been lifted from off her shoulders, and it felt good, right. Sure it hurt her inside, not so much the break-up, that was inevitable, but the fact that Carter had done it through an impersonal and badly written letter, which the entire ER staff had read! It was humiliating.
Abby had finally reached Luka’s room, she sighed to herself, his bed was empty, “He left” a familiar voice behind her said, Abby spun on her heel and saw Luka leaning heavily on his IV stand she couldn’t help the smile that was lighting up her face, she was so happy to see him alive and standing before her, her relief was palatable. He returned her grin which made Abby smile harder, god she had missed him, she realised at that moment how close she had come to losing one of her only real friends, someone who knew more about her than perhaps she even did herself, she was lucky to have him back, she felt like rushing to him and holding him tight and letting all her emotions out, but she couldn’t that wasn’t her nature. “What are you doing?” she says instead, trying to mock scold him but instead giggling. “I needed to stretch my legs, it’s good to see you, you look great” he warmly replied back. “You look like…hell” Abby cracked back, with a nervous giggle. “Too much partying on the plane” he joked with a laugh. They just stared at each other for a beat, affection in their eyes, Abby needed to do something so she stepped forward and tweaked his IV line, what she really wanted was to give him a hug, as much for herself as for him. “So I met Gillian” she said at the same time "She seems...." "Yeah, she is," Luka interrupted. "Must be nice having your own private nurse," Abby awkwardly answered feeling a tinge of jealousy. “She give you your letter?” Luka asked. Blinking and clearing her throat she asked him if he read it, “no” he answered her with a slight look of disbelief on his face. "Well, you're the only one," she said, the hurt cursing through her. "I think he wanted to try and explain why he stayed," Luka offered. "He saved my life", he said, as Abby looked at him knowing full well that she owed Carter for bringing Luka home. “It's different over there. It changes you," Luka continued. "I think Carter found himself." Abby pursed her lips together joking “I didn’t know he was missing” at which Luka laughed. “I don't want to talk about Carter anymore, I think it was doomed from the start. I'm glad one of us had the courage to put it out of its misery." And she was glad, it had been going wrong for so long now, and nothing for them had been easy, you shouldn’t have to try so hard to make a relationship work. Luka smiled warmly at her again “Feels strange to be here, I think maybe I’ve changed too” he says. “Well change is good right?” Abby threw up her arms her eyes threatening to spill over with tears “I think I’m way overdue myself”
"Hope he hasn't talked you into helping him escape," Gillian said as she entered the hallway. “Nope” Abby answered immediatly feeling uncomfortable, and even more so as Gillian started administering Luka’s medication and feeling his forehead for a fever, Abby looked away at her feet feeling out of place, and said that she would stop by tomorrow to check on Luka before telling him she was glad he was back. And she was, so why was she feeling a sense of loss still in the pit of her stomach, which only intensified as she turned back to see Gillian leading Luka back to his room. A Sad look crossed her face as she pulled out Carters letter, crumbled it up and made sure she tossed it in the rubbish, properly this time.
Abby felt exhausted when she returned home from work that day, it had been one of the more draining days at Country that she could remember so she climbed straight into bed hoping to fall into a deep sleep. But sleep refused to come, her mind was a mosh pit of thoughts that she couldn’t switch off. She kept thinking about that awful letter, not surprised or even saddened by it or the end of their relationship, which was really over a long time ago, perhaps about the time Eric fell into Gamma’s grave plot which caused her to break out into hysterics, as bad as it was, it is awfully funny. Her mind drifted over to Luka, seeing him alive and safe back in Chicago made her happier than she thought possible, she never realized how much she depended on him, how much he stabilized her, he has been the one constant in her life, the one person she could depend on. Sometimes she would wonder what it would have been like if they had stayed together all those years ago, it seemed the universe was conspiring to break them up then, they were different people, and are closer now than they ever were, even during their most intimate moments together. Slowly Abby drifted off to sleep, it was the first night in months that she had felt so at peace so contented and even though she would never say out loud she knew it was because the man she loved was home where he belonged.
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Post by Andy on Oct 8, 2006 13:02:30 GMT 10
Hey, I really enjoyed it and I can't wait to read what happens next. *hopes for some Luby romance soon --> * So please keep it coming! Great Start!
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Post by XxXnicoleXxX on Oct 8, 2006 13:05:50 GMT 10
Really good start hope u continue
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Post by Cornflake Girl on Oct 8, 2006 15:13:39 GMT 10
It is amazing what a run can do - I have another chapter already! Thanks for you comments Andy and Nix CHAPTER 2During the days following Lukas return to Chicago Abby had spent a lot of time thinking about her life and where it was heading, or rather where it wasn’t heading. If she was honest to herself she hadn’t been happy for a long time, not truly happy, and she was determined to change that by getting her life back on track. She had visited Luka a few times up in his hospital ward, only for a few minutes at a time, each time Gillian had been there and the wave of jealously threatened to erupt so she would make an excuse and bid a hasty retreat. Gillian was nice enough and she had invited her to join Luka and her for dinner that night, Abby had decided to go after her shift ended as much as seeing them together made her uncomfortable she longed to see Luka. Abby banged on Luka’s apartment door, after a few seconds Luka opened the door, "Hi! Figured I owed you a visit. And Gillian invited me for dinner," she quickly added as she realized that Luka had a confused look on his face. “It’s 10 o’clock” Luka pointed out to her, Abby hadn’t realized it was so late. Gillian appeared behind him adding “I didn't think you'd take me up on it, sorry I can’t stay but there are still some Thai leftovers in the fridge if you want” “Oh” was all Abby could say, maybe Gillian had picked up on her hostility towards her after all. Abby once again stood awkwardly as Luka and Gillian shared a long lingering kiss, all she could do was look away, her stomach was in knots, it was hurting her so much inside to witness this, she wanted to run away and hide but she forced a smile as they parted and Gillian gently touched her arm saying goodbye. Abby stepped inside asking Luka where Gillian was going, and as he told her she was headed back to Montreal to her boyfriend a flicker of hope rose in her stomach and she flashed him a smile. “Want some dinner?” He asked her. “Um no, actually I am not that hungry. I was thinking it might be nice to go for a walk down by the river, you feel up to it?” Abby questioned Luka, she felt like talking and just being in his presence. “Yeah sure that would be nice, just left me grab a jacket” They had been walking for about 5 minutes, mostly in comfortable silence, as they were approaching the river Abby commented on his health, he really was recovering quickly after all that he had been through. “Are you glad to be home?” She questioned him hoping that he was. But his answer of “yes and no” didn’t really surprise her, he seemed to have gained an inner peace since the last time they saw each other before he left, something that she knew could only be attributed to his experience in the Congo. He carried on talking about his time in Africa, “It’s its own addiction I guess” He continued, “It’s certainly hooked Carter” she noted. “How are you doing with that?” Luka inquired. “Without him you mean? I’m fine, I’m better than fine” She insisted and she meant it, she hadn’t given Carter much thought over the last few days. “So you’re Happy?” He asked, probing gently, wanting to know how she was coping. Abby gave him a sly smile as if to say ‘do you realize who you just asked that of?’ and replied to him that she was getting there. “I’ve made a few decisions” she tells him. “Like what?” Abby thought for a moment wanting to tell him but then changed her mind shaking her head telling him she didn’t want to jinx it. Luka looked at her with a curious expression but knew better than to force her to tell him, so he just grinned at her, “I missed you over there you know”, this confession surprised Abby, she looked up at him, staring at his face intently before adding “I missed you too, I really thought you were dead, it was horrible, I couldn’t imagine what it would be like if you weren’t around, when the call came though that you were dead it was like a…” she stumbled over the next few words, “a part of, um…, a part of me had died too” she looked down at her feet biting her lower lip as she confessed that to him. “I’m sorry” he said as he reached out and took her chin in his hand lifting her head to look at him, he slowly stroked her chin with his thumb caressing her lips as he did so, she looked at him and smiled, tears brimming in her eyes, their eyes captured one another and he slowly leaned into her, enveloping her space when at that moment her beeper went off, she quickly pulled away from him checking the message. Luka looked away as she said it was work wanting her back, “say you didn’t get the page” he said mischievously, Abby looked at him, and peered into his eyes and for a moment thought she saw a flicker of desire there and almost decided to ignore the page and stay with him but then thought better of it, thinking it was probably just pity that she saw in his eyes and said "I need the money." Luka deflated a bit at this comment and hopefully ask her "See you soon then?" Abby nodded and smiled warmly at him saying he would, Abby had to leave before she did something that she would regret so she quickly said a curt goodnight and rushed away, leaving Luka alone by the river wondering about what just happened. Luka made his way back to his apartment, his mind was a jumble of emotions, he couldn’t figure out Abby, she sent him so many different signals, one moment she seemed like she wanted to be with him the next she was acting cold and distant. That moment by the river before her beeper had interrupted them, he knew he had wanted to kiss her, to hold her and comfort her but once again she had made a hasty retreat, Luka sighed as he sat down on his sofa, he needed to deal with this and the only way to do so was to talk to Abby, they were both pretty bad at opening up and discussing their feelings but he had to know if there was even a remote possibility of getting back together with her because if there was he would be there in a heartbeat. He also couldn’t stop thinking about what her decision might be that she mentioned he hoped it wasn’t some crazy idea she had come up with. Abby was busy that evening at work, she was glad for the distraction, the El trip over had been too silent, alone with her thoughts her mind was stuck on Luka and ‘that’ moment down by the river, she knew he had been about to kiss her and part of her wanted that to happen so badly but another part of her was glad her beeper went off, she didn’t need his pity for that was all it was, wasn’t it? She now found herself in the elevator with Dr Corday who was so obviously flirting with Dr Diego and she couldn’t resist teasing her about it “You think it's too soon?" Elizabeth needled her, Abby knew she was asking because of Mark and replied that she never said that, she thought it was great Elizabeth was moving on with her life, "I think it's too soon," she mumbled as she walked off the lift, "I...I just said he was cute!" Abby yelled after her laughing as the doors closed, once again alone with her thoughts, her conversation with Elizabeth made her think of Luka, was it too soon after Carter? She shook her head; she didn’t want to think about it now. Despite her exhaustion after her double shift Abby knew she had to get this over with, she walked up to a well presented house and rang the bell, biting nervously on her lip, she asked the woman to speak to Richard as he approached the door she hated herself for having to do this, but it was the only way, "What do you want?" He sasses, "I need a favor, I need you to co-sign a loan." She blurted out, she wanted to get out of there as fast as she could and Richard was going on and on, demeaning her, "Look, you must know how much I hate doing this," she says, "I wouldn't do it...I don't want your money! I just want your signature." Finally he gave in and signed the paper, as she walked away she had a slight spring in her step, she was on her way to getting her life back on track, now if only she could sort out her feelings for Luka she could be happy.
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Post by Melimelo on Oct 8, 2006 15:36:23 GMT 10
You picked a good spot to pick up the storyline ...I would have like them to have gotten back together at that point and then Sam would never have gotten with Luka. Can't wait to see what you with this storyline...
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Post by Andy on Oct 8, 2006 16:11:22 GMT 10
Yeah, I agree... I always thought what could've happened if... and I can't believe they didn't kiss!! When ever you can post another chapter, I'll be waiting!! Great Update!
And you're welcome by the way.
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Post by charlieluby on Oct 8, 2006 19:23:44 GMT 10
I absoloutely love this! Its so good! You have true writing talent! I can't wait for your next update! I could see it all happening and when they didn't kiss i was like But i hope you update soon! I love this! :)x
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Post by ERFanRach on Oct 8, 2006 20:02:40 GMT 10
Great Start. This is a good story. Update Soon!!
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Post by rorygilmore on Oct 8, 2006 21:09:32 GMT 10
Just caugh up the whole story and...OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! THEY ALMOST KISSED. It would had been great if that would had happen in the show but, omg you described it so well that I can actually see it happening! Keep on; Kellogg's Girl
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Post by jadestar on Oct 9, 2006 0:15:09 GMT 10
hey this is a really good start!!! you are amazing at describing the moments and emotions!
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Post by *Natalie* on Oct 9, 2006 1:15:20 GMT 10
This is an amazing fic! Hope you update soon Cause i'm kind of hooked already natalie x
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Post by steffi1986 on Oct 9, 2006 2:07:54 GMT 10
OMG that's a very good fic, please update soon
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Post by lubyfan on Oct 9, 2006 3:11:32 GMT 10
Great start I love it!
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Post by lubyfreaky on Oct 9, 2006 3:46:36 GMT 10
great start can´t wait to read more
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Post by Cornflake Girl on Oct 9, 2006 5:02:20 GMT 10
Thanks for the encouragement everyone CHAPTER 3Luka was driving his car heading for County, it was his first day back at work, and truth be told he had missed it, but he was more interested in seeing Abby, she hadn’t visited like she had promised that night by the river, he had phoned her several times to arrange to meet up but she had always had an excuse as to why she couldn’t see him. Well, he thought to himself, she can’t avoid me at work, we are going to have to talk eventually. He strode purposefully through the bay doors staring at the new surroundings in the ER, and was greeted by the usual people including a few new staff members, that Morris seemed like a character, he darted his eyes through the ER looking for Abby but not spotting her before being knocked out of his daydream by a woman whose baby had fallen out of a shopping trolley. Abby would have to wait. He spent the next few hours working with the new students and R2s, they needed a lot of work, Morris especially, and Neela didn’t seem to be very sympathetic to the patients needs, it was going to be a long day. Abby sucked in her cheeks as she walked through the ER towards exam one, it was her first day back in med school and she was on her surgical rotation, she breathed in one last time before pushing the door open, "Hi," she says "Nice costume, you’re a day early” Romano snapped at her, Abby looked down at her feet before saying “You need an assessment on a possible bowel obstruction”. “Pardon me?” Romano replied, “I started my surgical rotation today, I’m back in med school” Abby proudly answered stepping toward the patient, while the others gapped at her she assessed the patient hearing Romano say “You waited three and a half hours for Abby!?” Causing her to smile at the irony. Once Abby finished up with her consult she walked through the hall explaining to Susan that she never meant to quit med school and that she had threatened her ex to get the money, Susan was genuinely happy for her saying as much, “wow, you must feel great?” “I do, and tired I was up till three studying the branches of the facial nerve” Abby lightly joked as her and Susan discussed mnemonic devices, they were interrupted by a new nurse Abby had not met yet, "Are you from the OR?" No, I'm not, but she is," Susan answered with pride in her voice, Abby followed the nurse into the trauma room, and almost stopped short, Luka was the attending on the case, she hadn’t seen him since that night by the river and even though she knew she would run into him eventually she wasn’t quite prepared, she avoided his gaze as she got to work on the patient. Luka couldn’t suppress a smile that spread across his face as he realized what her decision was that she was referring to the other night, she was back in med school. "You're the consultant?" he asked her “yep” she said to him, “the coat looks good on you” he grinned delighted that she was in the room with him and back in med school. They got to work on the patient, Abby falling back into some old nursing habits along the way and Luka noticed that Romano was riding her hard, he snapped at her for not making the call to get the patient to the OR, Luka glared daggers at Romano before sympathetically gazing at Abby who was trying to keep her anger in check, he helped her with some procedures while Romano went off to terrorize someone else "That is one poisonous one-armed midget you've got running this place," Sam said to break the tension in the air. Luka was then called away to see Weaver but before leaving he turned to Abby asking "You're fine here?" she didn’t answer straight away so he gently touched her arm smiling down at her adding "You're fine here. Ill see you later ok? Want to get a drink after work?” Abby hesitated before adding “Yeah I’d like that” Abby walked toward the doctors lounge in the ER to collect her things, half hoping that Luka had forgotten about their drink, she slipped into the room and to her locker and as she was taking off her lab coat and stethoscope she heard the door open behind her, “You just finish?” Luka asked she slowly turned offering him a smile “Yeah” He nodded to her “Great, still want to get that drink?” “Umm sure why not” She replied, she could do with a friend to talk to after the day she had had. They walked out of the ER together and as they were walking through the ambulance bay they spotted the new nurse, Sam Taggart sitting on a bench alone. Luka politely smiled at her “You have that County gaze about you” he remarked, Sam rattled off about her previous jobs before adding that at least at county you can catch your breath. "Yeah, that's what I love about County -- all the quiet time," Abby dryly said. Sam snickered, "So you used to be a nurse?" she said glancing at Abby, "Still am, I guess," she answered as they talked about the transition, “you want to join us, we we’re just going to get a drink?” Luka kindly offered her, Abby looked over at him silently hoping she would say no, which is exactly what she said mentioning that she is waiting for her guy, at that moment a car pulled up and a young boy walked over Sam gave him a hug as Abby and Luka crossed the road heading towards Ikes. Luka and Abby sat quietly at a table at the Irish pub, they had ordered their drinks, Abby fidgeted with the napkin looking at her hands as Luka broke the silence, “I’ve missed you” he said, her head jolted up to stare at him, he continued, “You said you would come visit, and you didn’t” She felt ashamed at that moment he was meant to be her friend and she had shut him out once again, “I’m sorry, I guess I have just been busy”. He beamed at her as she said that “I’m glad you went back”, “To med school?” she queried he nodded in clarification, “You never should have left, your going to make an amazing doctor Abby” She stared at him as he said that, and knew he meant it, “Thanks, I hope I prove you right” They sat in Ikes talking about their day among other things for the next few hours, until Abby let out a yawn, it had been an exhausting first day back, Luka offered her a ride home which she gladly accepted, she was beat and didn’t have the stamina to deal with the el ride home tonight. As Luka pulled up outside her place she turned to him, “I had a really nice time tonight, thanks”. “Yeah me too, we should do it again, soon” He countered, his eyes darting downward, “I’d like that” she uttered in reply as she slowly turned to open the door. “Abby!” Luka blurted out making her stop what she was doing and look expectantly at him, it was now or never, he had to know, he had to know if there was a future for them, that day he had told Weaver that he was returning to Africa in eight weeks but he knew he couldn’t go without knowing how she was feeling so he leaned forward and captured her head with his hands staring intently into her brown eyes, seeking the permission he needed, when he thought he had it he leaned that little bit closer and brushed his lips over hers, he felt her shudder beneath his touch before he deepened the kiss drawing his hands to the back of her head pulling her as close to him as humanly possible in the car. He could feel her giving into him, letting go of her inhibitions, then suddenly she broke apart from him with a questioning look on her face he just surveyed her face before the corners of his mouth started to curl. “I should get going, I have an early start in the morning, I don’t want to be late, thanks for the drinks” She rambled as she climbed out of the vehicle, her head was spinning, she couldn’t believe what just happened and more so that she was just walking away, ‘maybe he does still have feelings for me’ she thought to herself, she couldn’t just leave like that, so she turned back to him and leaned in through the window as far as she could, reached her arm out and pulled him in for a quick kiss before saying goodnight. Luka sat there for a good ten minutes looking like a lovesick teenager, he felt like one too, he had his answer, sure he wanted more to happen, a lot more, but he could be patient, Abby had just come out of an intense relationship with Carter, he could wait, the most important thing was there was hope. He drove back to his apartment and dreamt of her all night, dying for it to be morning so he could see her again at work.
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