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Post by *Natalie* on Aug 9, 2006 6:03:28 GMT 10
They were great updates! Glad Luka was found alive natalie x
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Post by lubyfan on Aug 9, 2006 6:42:48 GMT 10
Love it
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rnintraining513
Duchess of Luby
"I don't need a ring or a white dress to tell you how much I love you."
Posts: 322
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Post by rnintraining513 on Aug 9, 2006 14:45:31 GMT 10
Chapter 42: “Thoughts of You”
Abby spent most of the night awake, tossing and turning and thinking about Luka. She wondered how she would feel hen she saw him again for the first time. Would it be strange and awkward? Probably. But wasn’t it always? She thought back to the last time she’d seen his face and how he had kissed her. Back then, it felt like a goodbye kiss. It felt like the one that meant…this is it. It’s over. For a while, Abby believed it was, at least until she heard the news. Hearing that she would never see Luka alive again confirmed the fact that she wasn’t over him. As she tossed and turned the night away, Abby doubted that she ever would be.
Luka opened his eyes and looked around the dark and empty plane. Even though he was sick and exhausted, he had to admit that deep inside, he felt happy. Just a few days ago, he doubted that he would ever see another day and now here he was, on a plane, safe and warm. 72 hours ago, things seemed hopeless. He knew he was sick and in danger. He knew that odds he was up against. They weren’t good.
At one point, he had even given up on himself. As he lay tied and beaten on the cold, hard ground, Luka decided he had had enough. “God, just take me away from all of this,” Luka had pleaded as he looked up at the dark, cloudless sky. “Just make it all go away.” But somehow, deep inside, Luka couldn’t let go. As much as his aching body pleaded with him, he felt like he had to hold on. At one point, Luka thought he even heard God speak back to him. Only, it wasn’t actually God, but a man lying beaten and dying on the ground beside him. “You are young and talented, Luka,” the man said to him. “I have lived my life, but your’s hasn’t even yet to begin.” Luka turned his throbbing head to face the man by his side. The two of them were lying together on the ground. Both were shivering with fever. “I’m not that young anymore,” Luka mumbled back. “I had a life once, and I lost everything I loved. I ran away from the world I knew and tried to start over. I thought everything was hopeless, until I met Abby.” The man coughed hard and then slowly turned his head to face Luka. “And what happened?” The man asked. Luka attempted to shrug. “Something had to happen,” the man began. “Why do you say that,” Luka answered. A slight smile came to the man’s face. “Why else would you be here?” He asked. Luka hesitated for a moment. “I came here in search of myself,” he said. “I wanted to matter…to make something of myself and do something that made me feel alive.” “And did you find it?” The man asked. Luka shook his head. “I found a lot of the answers I was looking for,” Luka began. “But I also realized that I had what I needed all along.” The man nodded his head. “Good,” he said. “Don’t be afraid to live your life, Luka. You only get one, after all.” Luke turned his head to face the man, but he noticed his eyes were closed. Luka watched the uneven and labored breathing as the man’s chest rise and fell beside him. Here he was, befriended by the dying man beside him. Why was he here? He’d come to make a difference and now he was a slave in some foreign land. And for what? For trying to matter. To who? To what? Luka turned back to the man beside him to find the rising and falling of his chest had stopped. He was gone, dead. At that moment, Luka wished that he was dead too.
The sun came from behind one lone cloud and shone down into his dark eyes. But Luka did not look away. Instead, he looked directly into the warm light, sucking up as much of its warmth that he could. He needed that now that it seemed as if he had nothing else left. The truth was, it didn’t take lying on the ground, tied up and beaten to make Luka feel cold. He had felt that way for years, ever since he lost Daniela and the kids. Running away had been his way to deal with the pain. He hadn’t seen anything wrong with that, at least not until he met Abby. Now, as he lie on the ground, alone, Luka wished more then anything that he could turn back time. He would go back to the beginning, from the moment he met Abby. He would tell her how beautiful she was and how much he loved her. He would tell her that she was the warmth in his soul and his heart. Without her, he was a broken man, just living to make it through another day. With her, he was so much more. He was whole.
I Love You
I have a smile stretched from ear to ear to see you walking down the road
we meet at the lights I stare for a while the world around disappears
just you and me on this island of hope a breath between us could be miles
let me surround you my sea to your shore let me be the calm you seek
oh and every time I'm close to you there's too much I can't say and you just walk away
and I forgot to tell you I love you and the night's too long and cold here without you I grieve in my condition for I cannot find the strength to say I need you so
oh and every time I'm close to you there's too much I can't say and you just walk away
and I forgot to tell you I love you and the night's too long and cold here without you
Luka didn’t remember another moment in Africa after that. He remembered being loaded onto a tiny airplane, Carter by his side, and being sent away. Now, as he opened his eyes and looked around, Luka realized just how lucky he was. He had made it. For a moment, he thought of that man who died beside him and the words he had spoken to him. At that moment, Luka made a promise to himself. “I’m going to make it,” he mumbled to himself as he looked out the window into the sunny, cloudless sky. “And I’m going to live my life.”
As the plane began it’s decent, Luka watched the city skyline in the distance. He sighed as he leaned his tired head back against the leather plane seat. The nurse who had spent the plane ride with him leaned down and gently touched Luka on the arm. “Welcome home,” she said with a smile. Luke forced a tired smile back. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to smile, but he was so tired. He felt the burden his heart had been carrying lighten up a little bit as he thought about home. “Welcome home,” he thought to himself as he watched the skyline come closer and closer in view. At that moment, Luka thought about home and it was then that he realized that he wasn’t exactly sure where his home truly was. He had run away from the only home he ever knew and once he finally felt at home in America, he had run away again. Where would he go now?
As the plane came to a stop, a strange and overwhelming feeling came over Luka. Here he was, back home once again, but he felt so lost and unwelcome. The truth was, at a moment where he should have been most grateful to be on safe, solid ground, Luka felt strange and uncertain about where to go or what to do. He felt nervous when he thought of seeing everyone again. Had things changed since he left? Because he knew he certainly had. Who would he talk to and confide in about all he had experienced in Africa? No one would truly understand. As they wheeled Luka off of the plane, his mind drifted to thoughts of Abby. He smiled at the idea of seeing her once again. He wasn’t sure how to react, but he knew how he would feel and that was happy. During his worst times in Africa, it was thoughts of her that kept him going. She was the face that popped into his mind when all hope was gone. What was it about her that made him feel like this? The more he thought about it, the more unsure he became. He thought about how he’d kissed her the night before he’d left for Africa. They hadn’t spoken since and he wondered if she even remembered that happening. It was odd, even as Luka thought about it himself, the whole thing seemed surreal to him. It was as if he was coming home physically, but part of him had been left behind, lost and broken in Africa. He wondered for a moment if things would ever be the same. He hoped and prayed that the moment he saw Abby’s face again, he would get that old familiar feeling. Maybe then, he would feel at home.
Angel
Spend all your time waiting for that second chance for a break that would make it okay there's always one reason to feel not good enough and it's hard at the end of the day I need some distraction oh beautiful release memory seeps from my veins let me be empty and weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight
in the arms of an angel fly away from here from this dark cold hotel room and the endlessness that you fear you are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie you're in the arms of the angel may you find some comfort there
so tired of the straight line and everywhere you turn there's vultures and thieves at your back and the storm keeps on twisting you keep on building the lie that you make up for all that you lack it don't make no difference escaping one last time it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees
in the arms of an angel fly away from here from this dark cold hotel room and the endlessness that you fear you are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie you're in the arms of the angel may you find some comfort there you're in the arms of the angel may you find some comfort here
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Post by les400coups on Aug 9, 2006 18:45:20 GMT 10
that was an awesome chapter !! i'm glad luka is back and findind his way !! sorry for not reviewing very often but my internet acces doest work well..
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Post by Caffy on Aug 9, 2006 19:10:51 GMT 10
Your writing skill's are like, amazing I love what range of emotion you can write about, see I think about what I want to write emotion-wise down in my head, but I can never seem to find the right words to express it, you just do and it's like. Wowww. Have you ever thought of writing a book, like just to see how it turns out?
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Post by strizzy on Aug 9, 2006 23:40:11 GMT 10
Great update!!
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Post by lubyfan on Aug 10, 2006 0:34:19 GMT 10
Love it!
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Post by lubylove on Aug 10, 2006 1:59:55 GMT 10
what a great update!!
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Andie
Duchess of Luby
Posts: 325
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Post by Andie on Aug 10, 2006 3:28:34 GMT 10
This fic keeps getting better every new update!!! please get them back together soon!!!
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Post by *Natalie* on Aug 10, 2006 7:18:37 GMT 10
Fantastic Update! Hope they see each other soon
natalie x
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rnintraining513
Duchess of Luby
"I don't need a ring or a white dress to tell you how much I love you."
Posts: 322
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Post by rnintraining513 on Aug 10, 2006 13:57:33 GMT 10
Your writing skill's are like, amazing I love what range of emotion you can write about, see I think about what I want to write emotion-wise down in my head, but I can never seem to find the right words to express it, you just do and it's like. Wowww. Have you ever thought of writing a book, like just to see how it turns out? Aww...really...thank you..thats sweet! I actually have considered writing...my college professors actually read a few of the things ive written and suggested it...but then again...who will publish a 20 year old nursing major? Ya know?
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Post by zelda on Aug 10, 2006 22:28:58 GMT 10
ITA with Cernik. I already told you you should BE a writer. I hope it is the end of the tunnel for Luka. And, OMG, I love your songs so much. Couldn't imagine the story without them.
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Post by larue on Aug 10, 2006 22:43:54 GMT 10
VERY nicely written. And I feel the same about finding publishers. Kind of frustrating, isn't it?
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rnintraining513
Duchess of Luby
"I don't need a ring or a white dress to tell you how much I love you."
Posts: 322
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Post by rnintraining513 on Aug 11, 2006 8:58:03 GMT 10
Chapter 43: “Just a Glimpse” Abby took a few extra minutes to fix her hair the morning she knew that she would see Luka. It wasn’t that she hoped he would notice. “Well, maybe I do,” she thought to herself as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Abby felt her stomach turn a little as she thought about seeing him again and she wondered how it would feel. She wondered if he’d look the same. Abby smiled to herself. “That’s another good thing about Luka,” she thought. “No matter what, he’ll still look sexy.” From the minute she walked through the doors of County, Abby knew it was bound to be another crazy and hectic shift. “Abby, we’ve got two traumas on the way in and Pratt is in with a hit and run,” Susan said. Abby nodded her head. “Okay,” she said. “Just let me put my stuff in my locker.” Susan shook her head. “Well, they are in the ambulance bay,” she said. Abby sighed. “Okay, okay! I’m coming!” Then she threw her bag behind the desk and headed towards the ambulance bay. “So, what happened with Luka was crazy,” Susan said as she stood next to Abby in the ambulance bay. Abby nodded. “Yeah,” she started as she crossed her arms. “How did you find out?” Susan asked as she narrowed her eyes. Abby rolled her eyes. “Carter,” she said. “Carter?” Susan asked. “He called you from Africa?” Abby nodded. “He wouldn’t have called me if it were bad news,” Abby said. “Carter only likes to be the savior. He’s like the goody-goody of the ER.” Susan let out a quick chuckle. “Yuck! Who likes the goody-goody anyway?” Susan asked. “Especially when you have the incredibly hunky, ex-boyfriend with a sexy accent coming back to you wounded and weak.” Abby smiled. “Luka was wounded before he went away,” she said. “I just hope that he doesn’t come back even worse off then when he left.” Susan sighed as an ambulance quickly pulled up and stopped abruptly before them. “I guess we will see, won’t we?” Susan asked. Abby shrugged. “I guess we will,” she said. Abby couldn’t help her eyes from wandering as she walked towards the desk. “Did the ambulance pick Luka up yet?” She asked Jerry who was standing behind a computer screen. “About an hour ago,” he said. “He should be here any minute.” Abby nodded her head. “Does he need a bed down here?” She asked, but Jerry shook his head. “No, they have one for him upstairs.” For a moment, Jerry’s words disappointed Abby. Part of her wanted him to be down in the ER, closer to her. But deep down, another part of her was nervous about seeing him again. “You lost the triage lottery, Abby,” one of the nurses called. “You’ve got the cage from 9 to 1.” Abby rolled her eyes and threw out her arms. “Oh come on!” She yelled. “No way! I lose every time! That’s like statistically impossible!” Abby couldn’t relish in her anger for long because Frank’s voice calling her name was beginning to irk her. “Abby!” He called and finally she spun around and acknowledged his presence. “What?” She asked, disgusted. Frank nodded his head in the direction of the front door. That was when she saw him. There he was, only about 20 feet in front of her, smiling on the gurney. His face was pale and tired looking, but he looked okay. As he smiled, Abby felt her heart skip a beat and she felt herself smile too. She immediately headed in the direction of the elevator, put a moment later, Pratt grabbed her arm and pulled her back. “Hey, I need you to help me with a GI bleeder,” he said as he pulled her arm. “Okay, give me 2 minutes. Just let me say hi to Luka,” Abby said as she turned back towards the door. Just then, a man on nearby bed began thrashing. Out of obligation, Abby quickly walked towards him. “Sir, you have to stay in bed,” she said as she pushed the man down onto his back. “I need sedation orders over here!” Abby yelled as she watched Luka being pushed further and further away from her. Susan asked Abby for the portable x-ray machine and Abby grabbed it quickly, still hoping to catch Luka before he headed upstairs. When she spotted his gurney rolling by, she quickly handed the machine off to another nurse and ran in his direction. A med student popped into her path. “Can you show me how to set up the hemovac?” She asked. “Yeah, just a minute,” Abby said as she pushed past her. She just about made it to the elevator and called out his name. “Luka!” She yelled, but it was too late. He head was back and he didn’t hear her. “Damn it,” she mumbled to herself as she stood in front of the elevator. A moment later, another medical student called out to her. “Hey, I think this old lady just stopped breathing,” he said. Abby spun around, her hair was messy in her face then she sighed deeply. “There he goes,” she thought to herself. After seeing five more patients, Abby walked back to the desk, exhausted. “Yeah, set her up for a chest x-ray and get a CBC,” Susan said. Abby nodded. “Hey, how’s Luka?” She asked. Abby put the chart back into the drawer. “I uh, haven’t had the chance to see him yet,” she said. “Frank, where’d they send Kovac?” Abby asked coolly. “5 West,” he said. “He looks good.” Abby picked up the phone and placed it on her shoulder. “You saw him?” She asked. “Just popped my head in to welcome him back,” he said. “It wouldn’t hurt you to do the same.” Abby rolled her eyes as a pile of charts fell onto the floor. “Oh my God!” She mumbled to herself. “This is the day from hell!”
"Ordinary Day"
Just a day, Just an ordinary day. Just trying to get by. Just a boy, Just an ordinary boy. But he was looking to the sky. And as he asked if I would come along I started to realize That everyday you find Just what he's looking for, Like a shooting star he shines.
He said take my hand, Live while you can Don't you see your dreams lie right in the palm of your hand
And as he spoke, he spoke ordinary words Although they did not feel For I felt what I had not felt before You'd swear those words could heal. And as I looked up into those eyes His vision borrows mine. And I know he's no stranger, For I feel I've held him for all of time.
And he said take my hand, Live while you can Don't you see your dreams lie right in the palm of your hand In the palm of your hand.
Please come with me, See what I see. Touch the stars for time will not flee. Time will not flee. Can you see?
Just a dream, just an ordinary dream. As I wake in bed And the boy, that ordinary boy Or was it all in my head? Did he asked if I would come along It all seemed so real. But as I looked to the door, I saw that boy standing there with a deal.
And he said take my hand, Live while you can, Don't you see all your dreams lie right in the palm of your hand In the palm of your hand, In the palm of your hand.
Just a day, just an ordinary day Just trying to get by. Just a boy, Just an ordinary boy. But he was looking to the sky.
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Post by hollygirl on Aug 11, 2006 10:11:24 GMT 10
great update!! your fic is really good! update again soon!
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