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Post by hollygirl on Jul 14, 2006 8:14:56 GMT 10
update soon!
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rnintraining513
Duchess of Luby
"I don't need a ring or a white dress to tell you how much I love you."
Posts: 322
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Post by rnintraining513 on Jul 14, 2006 8:19:11 GMT 10
Chapter 23: “Waiting There”
Abby slid down the wall and collapsed onto the floor. She silently sobbed as she gasped for air. The old, creaky hallway was dark and warm and Abby felt a trickle of sweat run down her spine as she cried on the floor. She hoped that he wasn’t home, because she didn’t want to face him. She wanted to run away. Somehow though, running away had only led her here, to the source of her problem. Her own disillusionment was now coming back to haunt her.
The creaking of a door at the end of the hallway made Abby lift her head. She held in her tears and quickly wiped her eyes as she saw a person in the distance coming in her direction. Abby sighed in relief as she saw Mrs. Samuels, her elderly neighbor approaching. “Abby, is that you?” The older woman asked as she slowly edged nearer and nearer to Abby. “Are you okay, dear?” She asked. Abby wiped her eyes and sniffed. She reached into her pocket for a tissue, but found none. Only a second later, Mrs. Samuels handed Abby a Kleenex. “Thank you,” Abby said as she took the tissue from the woman’s hands. “I’ll be just fine. I’m sorry if I woke you.” Abby scrambled to her feet. “It’s just been one of those days.” Mrs. Samuels nodded in agreement. “I’ve had quite a few of those in my day, sweetie,” the old woman said. “Quite a few of those,” she repeated.
Abby brushed some lint off of her pants as she stood in the dark hallway. “Would you like to come in for some tea?” Mrs. Samuels asked. Abby sighed and shook her head. “Oh, no,” Abby began. “Thank you though. I have to get home. I have work early tomorrow morning.” Abby clasped her hands together as she thought about work. Tomorrow would be different. It would be back to the familiar duties of nursing. For now, her fairy-tale life of playing doctor was over. Mrs. Samuels reached out and gently touched Abby’s forearm. “Some other time then?” She asked with a soft smile. Abby nodded. “Some other time,” Abby repeated. “And thank you for looking out for me.” As Abby turned to walk towards the stairs, Mrs. Samuels reached out and grabbed her by the arm. “I miss seeing you around here, dear,” she said. “You are such a pretty girl. Don’t let anyone make you cry.” Abby smiled genuinely at Mrs. Samuels. The older lady pulled her in for a warm embrace and Abby accepted it gratefully. “Thank you,” Abby repeated as she was released from Mrs. Samuels hug. “Take care.”
Once she pushed open the heavy, wooden door, Abby was greeted by a cool, fall breeze. The coldness of the night was soothing. It helped Abby clear her stuffy head from the memories of the old, apartment building and it’s not so pleasant memories. She stuffed her hands into her pockets as she began her walk back to her new apartment. “It may not be home,” Abby thought to herself. “But, it’s close enough.” A huge gust of wind nearly pushed Abby backwards and she removed her hands from her pockets and wrapped her arms around herself. She looked up at the clear night sky as she walked and somehow, she began to feel a little better.
As she rounded the corner of her apartment building, Abby looked down at her feet as she reached into her pocket to retrieve her keys. She climbed halfway up the outside stairs before she looked up again. Abby almost stumbled backwards when she saw Luka sitting on the top of her front steps. She grabbed her shirt in her fist and gripped it hard. “Sorry if I scared you,” Luka said when he saw the startled look on Abby’s face. “I decided to wait out here because I didn’t know which apartment was yours.”
Abby felt the corner of her mouth curve up into a smile, but she forced it away. “How did you know where I lived?” Abby asked, her eyes narrowing curiously. Luka let out a brief chuckle. “I asked Carter,” he said. “Carter?” Abby questioned. “I didn’t even know Carter knew where I lived.” Luka shrugged. “Carter knows a lot more about you then you think,” Luka laughed. “Trust me.” Abby rolled her eyes. “Well, there is a lot about me that Carter doesn’t know,” she said. “There are a lot of things that no one knows.” Abby stepped up three more steps before stopping directly in front of Luka. He continued to sit on the step and motioned for Abby to sit next to him. She slowly climbed up, spun around, and plopped down on the top step next to him. She sighed as she put her elbows on her knees and then rested her heavy head in her palms. Luka imitated her and did the same. Abby turned her head to face him and laughed. “Are you mocking me?” She asked with a laugh. Luka nodded his head. “Uh-huh,” he said.
With her face growing serious once again, Abby turned her head and looked into the distance. Luka watched her intently and waited for her to speak. “I’m sorry if I was a bitch earlier,” Abby said. “It was just…all too much.” Luka nodded. “It’s okay,” he said. “None of this can be easy for you.” Abby lifted her head and crossed her arms. “I did what I had to do. I finally decided to do the one thing I’ve always wanted to do and this is what happens. I didn’t know God could be this cruel,” she said. She turned to watch Luka and noticed the smile on his face turn into a deep frown. When he noticed her looking at him, he turned away. “Did I say something?” She asked, confused. Luka shook his head. “No,” he said simply. Abby pressed him for more information. “Are you okay?” She asked. Luka turned his head awkwardly and looked in the other direction. “I’m fine. It’s nothing,” he said. “Let’s just talk about something else.”
Abby was silent. For the first time since she’d met him, Abby detected her first hint of the sadness and anger that she saw when she looked deep into Luka’s eyes. His reaction confirmed that something was there, something was haunting him. But it was more then obvious that Luka was not willing to share. His wounds still seemed fresh, so Abby backed off. “I just ran out of the ER today because I didn’t know what else to do. I had so much anger and emotion welling inside of me that I felt like I was going to explode,” she said. Luka looked back at her. “Sometimes I feel like that too,” he said. Abby nodded her head and smiled slightly back at him. He didn’t return the smile, but he held her gaze. It wasn’t much, but it was a start. Abby knew that much was true.
Abby shivered as the night air hit her bare arms. The tree in front of the apartment was blowing in the wind and leaved were swirling on the ground around her. She pulled her legs up to her chest and rested her chin on her knees. She felt her heart begin to beat quickly in her chest as she contemplated what to say next. She wanted to invite Luka in. She wanted to sit and to talk with him. She wanted him to spend the night because at least then she wouldn’t feel so alone. Abby bit her lip and took a deep breath before she turned to face Luka. She opened her mouth and hesitated before she spoke. “It’s getting cold,” she said. Luka turned to her and nodded. “Would you like to come in…you know, for some coffee or something?” Luka looked at her long and hard but the expression on his face remained the same. He took a few moments before he spoke and Abby knew that he was weighing the options deep in his mind, much like she had just done. He scratched his head and sighed. “I can’t,” he said, his voice was apologetic. “It’s late and I’m pretty tired.” Abby nodded her head and smiled to hide her disappointment. She was still pretty sure that he was able to see it by the look on his face. “I’m sorry,” Luka said. “I just wanted to make sure that you were okay, that’s all.” Abby nodded and scrambled to her feet. “I’m okay,” she said, forcing a smile. “Thanks Luka…for looking out for me.” He nodded and smiled back, then he turned and walked down the stairs. Abby watched him walk to the end of the block, his head down and hands stuffed in his jacket pocket. She didn’t blink until he turned around the corner and disappeared out of sight.
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Post by hollygirl on Jul 14, 2006 8:41:22 GMT 10
Great update!!! Another soooon!
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Post by strizzy on Jul 14, 2006 8:57:20 GMT 10
Great update!!!
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Post by zelda on Jul 14, 2006 22:57:25 GMT 10
I had tears in my eyes: Abby's lonely childhood is so heartbreaking! It's as if she had never been happy even in the early days of her marriage. Luka seems to be the only one to understand what she went through. This is a very dark passage, even the environment is hostile ( cold night). Amazing style!
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Post by lubyfan on Jul 15, 2006 5:39:52 GMT 10
Great update!
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rnintraining513
Duchess of Luby
"I don't need a ring or a white dress to tell you how much I love you."
Posts: 322
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Post by rnintraining513 on Jul 15, 2006 5:48:44 GMT 10
I had tears in my eyes: Abby's lonely childhood is so heartbreaking! It's as if she had never been happy even in the early days of her marriage. Luka seems to be the only one to understand what she went through. This is a very dark passage, even the environment is hostile ( cold night). Amazing style! Thanks! Your comments always make me smile! Also, thanks to everyone else for your wonderful comments!
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Post by anna982 on Jul 15, 2006 5:59:05 GMT 10
[glow=red,2,300]please update again soon... Lubyness soon. hint hint.[/glow]
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Andie
Duchess of Luby
Posts: 325
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Post by Andie on Jul 15, 2006 6:28:48 GMT 10
i'm really loving this fic...your writing is so beautiful and touching and, most importantly, realistic. Abby is never out of character... Thanks! UPDATE SOON!!!!!!
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rnintraining513
Duchess of Luby
"I don't need a ring or a white dress to tell you how much I love you."
Posts: 322
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Post by rnintraining513 on Jul 16, 2006 5:42:04 GMT 10
More tonight! I promise!
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rnintraining513
Duchess of Luby
"I don't need a ring or a white dress to tell you how much I love you."
Posts: 322
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Post by rnintraining513 on Jul 17, 2006 9:21:08 GMT 10
Chapter 24: “On My Mind”
That night, after Luka left, Abby went back into the apartment with her mind full of questions. She felt a strange variety of emotions running through her veins as she lay in bed all alone. One part of her was so angry at Richard and his selfishness, but another part of her, a part that seemed even unfamiliar to herself was looking ahead. So what if Richard was out of her life? She didn’t need him. Abby had survived on her own before Richard came into her life, and she could do it afterwards as well. She had a full life ahead of her. The tuition incident was unfortunate, but Abby knew that school would always be there. Thus far, it had been nerve wracking and frustrating anyway. Maybe this was God’s way of telling her to take a step back and look long and hard at the decisions she was making and the way she had been living her life. Yeah, that must be it.
Abby closed her eyes tightly and pulled the covers up around herself as she shivered. She was under two heavy blankets, yet she couldn’t seem to shake this chill deep in her bones. She willed her tired body to sleep. Sleep was the one thing that always made her feel better. In her dreams, she let reality slip away and the world around her disappear. As she felt herself begin to drift off into a peaceful sleep, only one thought came to her mind; Luka. She relaxed her tired muscles and unclenched her tightly closed eyelids, letting dreams of him take her away.
Luka walked around the corner and stopped at the traffic light. There wasn’t a car or a person in sight, but he leaned his body against the pole and waited for the light to change before him. He stuffed his hands into his coat pockets and debated with himself for a moment. “Should I ride take the short way or the long way home?” He asked himself. As the light turned green, Luka turned and began to walk in the other direction. “Tonight, I’ll take the long way,” he thought to himself.
As he continued to walk down the long, empty, city streets, Luka pulled the collar of his black, wool coat closer around his neck. The chilly night air wrapped itself around him and chilled him to the bone. Even though it was cold, Luka was glad that he decided to take the long way home. He needed time to himself, time to think, not to mention, he wasn’t exactly looking forward to going home to his empty hotel room. Normally, the comfort of the strangers that lived and worked in his hotel satisfied Luka’s craving for company. The bellboy, the maids, Ray, the manager behind the counter, were all acquaintances of his, but tonight, what Luka really desired, was a friend. He shook his head as he thought about what he had just done. “Luka, sometimes you are so stupid,” he mumbled to himself as he continued on his walk back to the hotel. “Why didn’t you just stay?” Luka sighed as he reasoned with himself. He already knew the reason that he didn’t stay, there was no question about it. He had been alone for quite some time now. He couldn’t help it. Once he buried his family and left Croatia, he felt too burdened and hurt to be with anyone else. For all this time, his loyalties had still belonged to Daniela, his deceased wife, and two deceased children. They had been his life for so long, how could he possibly just forget about them and move on? The thought hadn’t even crossed his mind, at least not until Luka met Abby. What was it about her that made him feel this way? Every time he saw her, he felt a little bit of the shield he had been carrying begin to melt away. It was true, he didn’t know all that much about her, but from what he did know, she was someone special. He saw in her someone beautiful and memorizing, but he also saw someone broken and battered beneath the surface, someone a lot like himself.
Maybe Luka wasn’t ready to let go of his old life completely. Maybe he never really wanted to. Forgetting a life that was once so much a part of you wasn’t meant to be an easy task and he knew that. But what he did know was that Abby was on a path similar to the road that he was on. She was about to start a new life, alone, just like he had once and Luka was willing to bet, although she hid it very well, that she was just as scared as he had been. Words didn’t come easily when Abby was around him. Too many feelings and emotions overwhelmed him. But there was a certain comfort in the silence that surrounded him whenever she was around that made him feel different, safe and happy in a sense.
As Luka rounded the corner and walked towards the hotel, he realized that he was no longer cold. He removed his hands from his pockets and looked down at them. As usual, his eyes looked down in the direction of his ring finger. For a while, Luka had decided to keep wearing his wedding ring as a sign of his continued commitment to his wife and family. Even though they were no longer with him, they were still very much a part of his life. Luka spun the wedding ring around on his finger and then gently slid it off. For a moment, his hand looked strange and empty without the simple, gold band that had been there for so many years. He gripped the cold ring tightly in his clenched fist as he walked through the main entrance and past the main desk. “Have a good night, Luka,” Ray, the manager said from his place behind the receptionist desk. “You too,” Luka said with a awkward smile.
Luka did not let the ring out of his grip as he fumbled around in his pocket in search of his keys with his left hand. Once he finally managed to get the door open, Luka tossed his keys onto the kitchen table and threw his coat on the back of the chair. He headed straight to the bedroom and stood in front of his dresser and looked into the mirror. He couldn’t believe how much he had aged since he’d come to the United States. He noticed a few grey hairs just above his ears in the darkened bedroom. He sighed as he looked away and averted his eyes down onto the dresser before him. In the center of the dresser rested a tiny, wooden jewelry box. Luka gently scooped it into his hands and pulled it close to his body as he took a few steps backwards and sat down on the edge of the bed. He caressed the ancient box with its broken edges and the long, thin, crack that ran across the entire length of it. He remembered a time when he used to sit on the edge of the bed each night before he fell asleep and open the box. As time went on, the box and its contents came to mind less and less. Luka couldn’t even remember the last time he’d opened the jewelry box. It was one of the few things he’d brought with him when he’d left Croatia so suddenly. After he’d buried his family and finished his residency, Luka left his homeland and tried desperately not to look back, even though deep in his heart he knew that would never be possible. Luka closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he opened the box. He heard the old lid creak as he lifted it open and at that moment, everything began to come back to him. Suddenly, he could remember Daniela’s smell and the color of her dark, brown eyes. He remembered the voice of his little girl and the soft, smooth feeling of her brown, curly hair. The laugh and cry of his infant son sounded in his head. A moment later, he saw his crooked, little smile flash behind his closed eyelids. Luka’s chest began to burn and his heart ached. God, he missed them.
He forced his eyes open to escape the painful memories that he knew were bound to once again cloud his mind. He looked down at the open jewelry box that rested on his lap and a smile came to his lips. He scooped up a stack of pictures that rested at the top of the box and held them in his left hand. His closed fist was still clasped around his wedding band in his right hand. The first picture was the first one he had ever taken of Daniela. It wasn’t long after they first met, perhaps it was their second or third date. Luka remembered taking her for a long walk and planning a picnic. They sat together on a small, handmade blanket and talked for hours. He remembered the way her dark, brown hair fell loosely around her face and curled tenderly at the ends. Her face was bright and happy. The picture had been bent and scratched in the explosion that had taken her life, but despite all of that, she still looked so young and beautiful.
The second picture was from their wedding day. As Luka looked down at the black and white picture, the perfection of that day replayed in his memory. They had been so young and so in love. He remembered the moment he saw Daniela at the church, standing with a bouquet of wild flowers in her white, wedding gown. She was barely 17. Luka notice the look on his face in the picture as he looked lovingly at Daniela. He remembered the picture being taken just moments after they had been married. He remembered his heart racing as his stood there with his new bride, his arms placed gently around her waist. He hadn’t been nervous during the entire ceremony, but now, his heart pounded in his chest. The anticipation of making love for the first time was taking over.
Luka pushed the wedding picture to the back of the pile and looked at the next picture. He let out an awkward giggle as he looked down at the picture. Daniela had taken it, just a few hours after she had given birth to their eldest child, their little girl. Luka was cradling her tightly in his arms, looking down at her with a gigantic grin on his face. He remembered how happy he had been at the moment. As he looked down at his little girl, his own flesh and blood, he had never been more proud. She had been born on his 19th birthday.
The last picture was one of Luka’s favorites. He had taken it from a picture frame on his night table before he left the apartment in Croatia for the last time. It was a picture his father had taken on Christmas, just a few weeks before that terrible day that he’d lost them. It was the four of them. Luka stood behind Daniela, with one hand on her shoulder and the other hand resting on his daughter’s tiny hands that were wrapped tightly around his neck. He looked at his little girl, with her arms wrapped around his neck, her legs wrapped around his waist as she clung on his back. On her tiny face was the sweetest smile as her chin rested between his right should and his neck. Daniela’s face was more serious as she cradled their son in her arms. The little boy was giggling, and grabbing his toes as he mother tickled him. Luka smiled at the memory of his son. He had been so much different then their little girl. Dasna had always been so quiet and pleasant, but Marko was a handful right from the start. He was so determined to get into everything he could get his hands on. He was a sense of constant worry for Daniela, but Luka found him to be an absolute joy. He was only two, but he reminded Luka so much of himself already.
Luka moved the pictures to the side and looked down at the remaining contents of the jewelry box. He looked down at the set of worn, pearl, rosary beads that his grandmother had left to him when she died. Without much thought, he simply pushed them to the side. Luka cleared a spot in the corner of the box and opened his hand. He looked down at the wedding ring and then held it between his index finger and thumb. He closed his eyes and mumbled two, simple words in Croatian as he brought the wedding ring to his lips and kissed it. “Volim te,” Luka said as he lowered from his lips and laid it in its new place in the jewelry box.
He looked down at the ring, alone in the box and felt sad for a few moments. He had kept Daniela’s ring on her ring finger when she was buried. He knew she would have wanted it to stay there. Just because they had said “Until death do us part,” didn’t mean that he would ever stop loving her. He knew that he would always love and miss Daniela. Luka took one last look at the wedding ring and sighed. He closed the box and stood up from his place on the edge of the bed, then he walked over to the closet and pulled an old box down from its place on the highest shelf. He took off the lid and looked down at the items before him. The average sized box was filled with clothes, outfits that Daniela and the children had once worn, items that he’d never quite had the heart to throw away. Luka resisted the temptation to take out the clothing. Somehow he knew that their scent was long gone. Luka fought back tears as he placed the jewelry box on top of the clothes and put the lid back on. Once again, he lifted the box back into its place on the highest shelf and closed the closet door.
Suddenly, an overwhelming feeling of fatigue came over Luka and without even changing his clothes, he climbed into bed and let his head fall exhausted onto the pillow. He closed his eyes to avoid looking at the empty space on his ring finger, instead he willed himself to sleep. He willed his mind not to thing about the pain, suffering and loss. He was tired of feeling the burden of everything each night before he went to sleep. “It’s time to move on,” Luka thought to himself. “It’s time to try to be happy once again.” With his eyes closed, Luka thought about what made him feel happy. Being a doctor had been the most fulfilling part of his life since he’d lost his family, but other than that, Luka wasn’t sure what made him happy. Then, his mind drifted back to Abby once again. He smiled as her face came to his mind and for the first time, it was Abby’s face that Luka saw that night in his dreams.
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Post by zelda on Jul 17, 2006 10:03:22 GMT 10
Mary Kate,I don't know how to express my feelings. I had tears running on my cheeks, while reading. I had forgotten I was reading a fic on the Internet, I was completely lost in it. The passage with the box jewelry and the box clothes, is one of the most heartbreaking I have read. I love your description of Luka's and Abby's inner feelings. Both of them are damaged people, but they are survivors. And the city at night is a real part of the story. Waouw!You are a real novelist.
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rnintraining513
Duchess of Luby
"I don't need a ring or a white dress to tell you how much I love you."
Posts: 322
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Post by rnintraining513 on Jul 17, 2006 12:32:05 GMT 10
Mary Kate,I don't know how to express my feelings. I had tears running on my cheeks, while reading. I had forgotten I was reading a fic on the Internet, I was completely lost in it. The passage with the box jewelry and the box clothes, is one of the most heartbreaking I have read. I love your description of Luka's and Abby's inner feelings. Both of them are damaged people, but they are survivors. And the city at night is a real part of the story. Waouw!You are a real novelist. Thank you so much! Your comments always make my day! I'm glad you appreciate my writing. Now, if only you worked for a publishing company! haha
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rnintraining513
Duchess of Luby
"I don't need a ring or a white dress to tell you how much I love you."
Posts: 322
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Post by rnintraining513 on Jul 17, 2006 14:18:27 GMT 10
Chapter 25: “Firsts”
Abby threw on her scrubs and headed out the door. It had been three days since she’d been at County, and she was actually excited to get back to work. Dr. Weaver had called her the day after her meltdown in the ER to make sure that she was okay. Abby apologized for being so bitchy. “I’m sorry about making such a scene,” Abby said. “I should know better then to let my personal life interfere with my job.” Dr. Weaver had been understanding, in fact, she’d actually been nice about it. “Don’t worry about it, Abby,” she had said. “Sometimes, that’s just not possible.”
Dr. Weaver offered Abby a job as a full-time nurse in the ER until she got back on her feet and decided what she wanted to do, and Abby gratefully accepted. A nurse in the ER was better then nothing. At least she’d still get to work with her friends, not to mention, she’d be seeing Luka.
Abby greeted everyone with a pleasant smile as she walked past the desk where a few of the doctors were standing. She clocked in and headed back to the lounge to gather her things from her locker. Abby opened the door of the lounge and was greeted by Carter. He was standing in front of her locker with his arms folded across his chest. “Hey,” Abby said with a smile. Carter grinned back at her. “Hey?” He asked. “Well, it’s good to see what a few days off does for your mood. Are you feeling better?” Abby rolled her eyes and nodded. “Yeah,” she began. “I just needed to clear my head.” Carter nodded as he stepped away from in front of Abby’s locker. “Surprise!” He yelled as he revealed her locker, no longer dented and bent. “Wow,” Abby said, impressed. “If I’d know that a temper tantrum would have fixed my locker for me, I would have done it sooner,” she said with a laugh. Carter laughed too. “Nobody deserved that piece of crap!” Carter said. “Besides, hopefully you’ll be sticking around here for a while, so you’ll need a decent locker.” Abby nodded. “Thanks, Carter,” she said. “Your welcome,” he answered.
Carter’s pager buzzed and he unclipped it from the side of his scrubs and looked down at it. “We’ve got a trauma coming in,” he said as he plopped the pager back into his pocket. “You ready?” He asked. Abby nodded and tossed her bag into her locker. She closed it and was surprised that it didn’t pop back open like it normally liked to do. “Yup,” she said as she threw her stethoscope around her neck. “Let’s go.”
Abby spotted Luka across the room as she ran after Carter. “Luka needs us with him,” Carter said as he jogged in Luka’s direction. Abby smiled and ran after him. Once they reached the trauma room and stopped running, Abby felt her heart pounding in her chest. “A little out of shape?” Carter asked with a smile. Abby smiled. “Must be,” she said with a laugh. When Carter looked away, Abby glanced over at Luka as he listened to the patient’s heart. His eyes were narrowed and on his forehead was a group of wrinkles that showed the depth of his concentration. Once he was finished, Luka removed the stethoscope from his ears and looked up and over at Abby. He flashed her a quick smile and she smiled back. “Maybe I’m not as out of shape as I thought,” Abby thought to herself as she felt her heart skip a beat as she Luka called her to assist him. “Maybe, for the first time in a long time, it’s actually happy.” The woman on the table thrashed around as Luka attempted to start a central line. “Mrs. Harold, I need you to stay still,” Luka said as he attempted to hold her shoulder still. “Maybe we should sedate her,” Luka said as he looked over at Carter. John nodded in agreement but Abby held up her head. “I think she’s just scared,” she said as she took a step towards the head of the gurney. “Mrs. Harold, what’s wrong?” Abby asked. “We are just trying to help you, I promise.” Luka and John watched in amazement as the woman stopped thrashing and looked up at Abby. “These men aren’t going to hurt you. I’m right here. Okay?” Mrs. Harold nodded her head and Abby smiled down at her and gently touched her shoulder, then she looked back over in the direction of Luka and John. “Okay,” Abby began. “I think she’ll be okay now.” Luka looked at Abby and amazement and then went back to starting the central line. Not long after, the woman was stable and completely calm and relaxed.
Carter took off his gloves and Luka tossed his gown into the trash can. The two of them continued to look at her with awe and amazement. “What?” Abby asked as she shrugged her shoulders and rolled her eyes, then she adjusted the oxygen mask on Mrs. Harold’s nose pulled the blanket up around her. “How did you do that?” Carter asked. Abby let out a laugh. “It’s not rocket science,” she began. “The woman is in shock after being raped. It’s common sense that she wouldn’t want two men poking and prying at her not long after.” The trauma room door flew open and Haleh popped her head in. “Abby, there’s a woman in curtain four who wants to see you,” she said. Abby took off her gloves and walked over to the sink and washed her hands. “Have I seen her before?” Abby asked. Haleh shrugged. “She says you were there when she had her twins a few months ago. Her name is Joan.” Abby narrowed her eyes. “Is everything okay?” Abby asked. “What is she here for?” Haleh held the door as Abby walked through. “One of her twins is lethargic and has been running fevers off and on,” Haleh said. “She’s scared and she asked for you.” Haleh handed Abby the chart as she walked towards the curtain. “Who’s the attending?” Abby asked. Haleh smiled. “That hunky Dr. Kovac,” she answered. Abby looked at Haleh and laughed.
Abby walked into the room and greeted Jean with a friendly hello. “I hear you had a special request for me,” Abby said with a smile. Jean nodded her head as she bounced one of the babies up and down on her lap. “Yeah,” she answered. “The last time I went to see Dr. Coburn, she told me that you were down in the ER now, as a medical student. I’m really happy for you Abby.” Abby looked down at the floor and knocked her hand against the chart in her hand. “Well, I’m just working as a nurse right now. I had..you know…some financial things to take care of before I can go back to medical school,” she said. Jean nodded her head. “I’m sorry, Abby,” she said. “But I totally know what you mean.” As Jean spoke, one of her twin boys began to cry. “Which one is this?” Abby asked as she leaned down and grabbed onto the crying baby’s hand. Jean smiled. “This is Eric,” she replied. “He’s always been the fussy one.” Abby laughed. “My brother’s name is Eric,” she said. “He was always a crier too.” Abby looked down at the other little boy asleep in the double stroller and then back at Jean. “I can’t believe how big they’ve gotten since you sent me that picture!” Abby said. Jean nodded in agreement. “I know,” she answered. “Matthew is crawling faster every day and Eric, he’s starting to walk around all on his own. I can hardly keep up anymore!”
Abby narrowed her eyes as she looked at Jean. The woman’s eyes were surrounded by deep colored circles. She couldn’t believe how thin she’d become in the past few months. Her tiny body didn’t look strong enough to lift her growing boys. “Has anyone been helping you with the boys?” Abby asked. “Have you heard from Dan at all?” Jean shook her head. “It’s just the three of us,” she said with a sigh. “It gets hard sometimes Abby, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I love these boys more then life itself.” Abby opened her mouth to speak and then Dr. Kovac walked through the door. He smiled at Jean and then at Abby. “I’m Dr. Kovac,” he said with a smile. “And who are these little trouble makers?” He asked as he handed Jean one of the boy’s bottles that had fallen onto the floor. “This is Eric,” she said as she shifted the little boy onto her other hip. “And that’s Matthew.” Luka smiled at the little boys and then turned to Abby and reached out for the chart. “Abby, I’d like to run a few blood tests, and a urinalysis if that’s alright,” Luka asked as he looked over at Jean. She nodded back with a pleasant smile. “Okay,” he said. “We are swamped with patients, so I’ll check back soon.” He handed the chart back to Abby and smiled down at her. “Thanks,” he said as he walked out of the room. When she turned back in Jean’s direction, Abby couldn’t keep a smile from her face. “And who is he?” Jean asked, her eyes wide. “That’s Luka,” Abby answered. Just then, Matthew sneezed and Jean pulled out a tissue and bent down to wipe his nose. The baby began to cry and a moment later, Eric joined in. “Here, let me,” Abby said as she reached out and grabbed Eric from Jean’s hands. The young mother smiled gratefully. “He’s beautiful,” Jean said and Abby laughed. “What?” Jean asked. “How can you not think he’s absolutely gorgeous?” Abby smiled and looked down. “I do,” she said. “He’s such a great guy. I think I’m falling for him.” Jean smiled and took a few steps towards Abby. “Hell, if I didn’t have these two rug rats, I’d be chasing him around. What are you waiting for? Go snatch him up before someone else does!” Abby laughed and put Eric into the front seat of the double stroller. He giggled with delight as she handed him a stuffed rabbit. “He makes me go weak at the knees,” Abby said. “I feel like a teenager all over again.” Jean elbowed Abby in the arm gently. “Hey, there’s nothing wrong with feeling like that!” She laughed. Abby nodded and smiled. “Yeah, I guess your right,” she answered.
Once Abby drew Jean’s blood and got her settled down with the twins, she walked out to the lobby. “Hey, Abby,” Dr. Carter called as Abby headed towards the door. Abby shook her head. “I am officially on break…starting now!” She said as she looked at her watch. Carter nodded and waved his hand. “Fine!” He said with a laugh. “See if I help you the next time you have a 300lb patient you need help turning in bed!” Abby rolled her eyes and continued to walk towards the doors. “I’ll be back soon!” She said. “I just need some fresh air!”
Abby flung open the side door and walked out side. She hesitated a moment when she saw Luka sitting on the metal bench, his elbows resting on his knees, but then she decided to keep walking towards him. She felt the familiar butterflies in her stomach as she headed towards him and she nervously played with her hair until she was standing just a few feet in front of him. “Hey,” Abby said as she removed her stethoscope from around her neck. “Hey,” Luka answered as he slid over a little bit to make room for Abby on the bench. Abby felt Luka watch her as she sat down next to him, so she looked straight ahead nervously. “You were popular today, uh?” He asked with a smile. Abby laughed. “I know,” she answered. “What’s that about?” She asked as she fumbled with the stethoscope she was holding in her sweaty hands. Luka laughed slightly as he pressed his hands into the bench on either side of his legs and looked down. They were silent for a moment, the two of them looking around. “I’m everybody’s favorite nurse,” Abby said as she looking into the distance. Finally, she turned her head and met his eyes. “But that’s the problem,” she continued. “Because as a med student, I screwed up everything, things I could do, even with my eyes closed.” “I think it’s all in here,” Luka said as he motioned to his head with his index finger. He looked at her for a moment and she let his eyes take her.
Luka hesitated before he spoke. “You are a good nurse, Abby,” he said. As he spoke, he bawled his hand into a fist and tapped Abby on the middle of her thigh as a sign of encouragement. “You could be a great, doctor,” he continued, keeping his eyes fixed with Abby’s. Abby herself was surprised at how deeply his words affected her. She could see the sincerity in his eyes and she knew that he meant every single word he said. “You just need a little confidence,” he said with a playful smile and he moved his hand to indicate just how much more confidence she needed. As Abby looked at his face and watched the corners of his mouth curve up into a smile, she felt her heart begin to race. For a moment, she felt the serious face she always showed off to the world disappear and let a slight smile come across her lips. Without even thinking, Abby leaned in a kissed Luka on the lips. It was only for a second, maybe two at the most, but when Abby pulled back, she couldn’t help but smile. She saw the look on Luka’s face and instantly apologized. “Oh my God, I’m sorry,” she said with laughter in her voice. She was so embarrassed that she didn’t even attempt to hide it. “I can’t believe I did that,” she said, laughing once again as she began to scramble to her feet.” Luka’s smile was growing. Just then, Chuney walked out the door. “Abby,” Chuney called. Abby spun around quickly. “Yeah,” she said, still laughing. She could feel that her cheeks were still a nice shade of red. “You have a code brown with Mr. Plazoni,” Chuney said. “Again?” She asked, turning back around towards Luka, but keeping her eyes fixed ahead. "Geez, how much can a guy eat?"
Abby felt Luka looking at her and she looked at him and smiled. She was glad to see that the smile had not yet left his face either. “I’ve gotta go,” she said as she pointed in the direction of the door. Luka nodded as she spun back around. “I’ll see you later,” she said, laughing out loud as she waved to him. “Bye,” Luka said, waving. “Bye,” Abby called as she walked away. Once she walked back into the ER, Abby hit herself in the middle of her forehead. “You are an idiot!” She said to herself. “What the hell were you thinking?” But as Abby walked back to the desk to pick up Jean’s chart, she knew damn right well what she had been thinking. She looked down and noticed that her hands were shaking and her heart was still pounding. She couldn’t believe she had kissed him. At that moment, she wanted to hide under a rock and die and then also scream out loud with excitement when she was all alone in the dark. She felt like a school-girl who got a kiss during recess behind the old oak tree. That was so unlike her to act that way, but as she picked up Jean’s chart and headed back to the room, she felt happy. “Good for you, Abby,” she thought to herself. “Good for you.” For the first time, in a long time, she had done something that she wanted to do, and most importantly, she meant it.
“Hands Down”
Breathe in for luck. Breathe in so deep. This air is blessed, you share with me. This night is wild, so calm and dull. These hearts, they race, from self-control. Your legs are smooth, as they graze mine. We're doing fine. We're doing nothing at all.
My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me. So won't you kill me? So I die happy. My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury, or wear as jewelry. Whichever you prefer.
The words are hushed, "let's not get busted." Just lay entwined here, undiscovered. Safe in here from all the stupid questions. "Hey did you get some?" Man that is so dumb. Stay quiet, stay near, stay close, they can't hear. So we can get some.
My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me. So won't you kill me? So I die happy. My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury, or wear as jewelry. Whichever you prefer.
Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember. Always remember the sound of the stereo. The dim of the soft lights. The scent of your hair, that you twirled in your fingers. And the time on the clock, when we realized "It's so late!" And this walk that we share together. The streets were wet, and the gate was locked, So I jumped it, and let you in. And you stood at the door, with your hands on my waist. And you kissed me like you meant it. And I knew...that you meant it.
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Post by rorygilmore on Jul 17, 2006 15:17:43 GMT 10
I love the way how you describe everything, from the places to Abby's feelings and I love this last chapter, you put a smile of my face with that last line: "For the first time, in a long time, she had done something that she wanted to do, and most importantly, she meant it."
LOVE IT!
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