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Post by <3 LubyII <3 on Aug 8, 2006 10:15:24 GMT 10
Great update!
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Post by strizzy on Aug 9, 2006 0:20:36 GMT 10
Chapter Twenty – What Now?
How great it was for everything to be back to normal again, but I should have known that it wouldn’t last forever! Nothing ever does! But let me tell you that this issue was completely unexpected, and completely overwhelming.
Another six months had passed since Dad moved back in with us, and honestly everything was progressing well. I left the house one morning with no suspicions that anything was different from any other day and went to school. It was Mum’s day off, and the day of the week where I finished school early, so I had gone home. Dad was at work, and Will was still at school, and I thought that Mum would probably be out with Auntie Neela since they had been talking about meeting up to talk on their next days off. So you could say that I expected an empty house, which is not what I was greeted with.
When I got home, I immediately noticed that both Mum’s car and Auntie Neela’s were sitting on the drive, which I thought was odd, since I wasn’t expecting Auntie Neela to drive up, I assumed that she would have caught the train, which is much quicker. I opened the door, no longer knowing what to expect. It was quiet, so I thought that it would be best to just go to my room to put my bag away and change out if my school uniform. Once that had been done, I decided to go and find out what was going on since I still couldn’t help but feel that the situation was weird; the door was unlocked, so I knew that someone had to be in, but there were no signs to indicate that there was anyone around.
I searched around downstairs, but didn’t find anything, so I decided to try upstairs, which was where I found them; on the floor in Mum and Dad’s bathroom. I was surprised to see that Mum was crying, whilst Auntie Neela was trying to comfort her. I also knelt down beside them, preparing myself for more bad news. I then asked what was going on; why Mum was in such a state.
Neither of them answered straight away, in fact Mum just cried harder and Auntie Neela embraced her again. I knew that something was going on, but I soon realised that they weren’t going to answer that question, so I tried a different angle; instead asking whether something else had happened with Dad (since that was a prospect that was always in the back of my mind). This time I got a reply; Mum sat up and started talking, telling me that there wasn’t a problem with Dad, and that their relationship was fine, better than fine. So, I asked, what was the problem. Mum and Auntie Neela looked at each other, as though they were reluctant to let me in on their secret, but I persisted, telling them that I was seventeen years old, and therefore deserved to know the truth. Mum eventually agreed that I didn’t deserve to be lied to, but at this point I realised the reason for us all being sat in the bathroom, as she paled, turned, and threw up repeatedly into the toilet. Auntie Neela and I were by her side immediately, holding back her hair and rubbing her back. We must have remained like this for over fifteen minutes, until Mum felt well enough to move away from the toilet. I think that she realised that she had to tell me what was going on once I had seen her like that, so she did.
She looked at me, keeping eye contact, and told me that she was pregnant. I couldn’t believe it, and I could suddenly understand why she was such an emotional wreck, and why she was so ill, but I was seventeen, and Will was fourteen, and I couldn’t quite get my head around the fact that there would be an eighteen year age difference between me and my future sibling.
I knew deep down that I should have stayed to support Mum, especially since she still had to tell Dad, but I couldn’t; I needed time and space to get my head around the idea, and I knew that it wasn’t like I was leaving her alone because she still had Auntie Neela. So I ran, like I always did, except this time I didn’t feel the need to speak to anyone, so instead of running to my friends, I ran to a place where I knew I wouldn’t be disturbed. I needed to think.
I don’t know how long I sat there for, I suppose you could say that I lost track of time, all I do know is that by the time I came to make my way back home, it was getting dark, and with it being spring, I knew that it must have been quite late. However, when I got home, there was still a light on, and as I entered the house, I realised that someone had been waiting up for me. It wasn’t whom I had expected. I had braced myself for a big lecture from either Mum, Dad or both, but instead when I walked into the room I found myself facing Auntie Neela…
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Post by rorygilmore on Aug 9, 2006 18:36:41 GMT 10
Uh-uh...aunt Neela is the one who is gonna lecture her...this is gonna be interesting!
UpDaTe SooN!
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Post by Maryna on Aug 9, 2006 20:08:16 GMT 10
update soon!
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Post by strizzy on Aug 10, 2006 2:38:01 GMT 10
Chapter Twenty-One – Confessions
I walked further into the room and went to talk, but was silenced and told to listen. Auntie Neela started telling me a story that I had never heard before about my Mum. Apparently about eighteen years previously to that day, Mum had found out that she was pregnant and didn’t know what to do about it; she once had an abortion another few years before that during her marriage to Richard, that I knew already. Anyway, she had told Dad and though he was shocked at the time, he soon came around to the idea. Mum, on the other hand, still wasn’t sure because of the history of Bi-Polar Manic Depression in her family.
Dad spent Christmas with Mum whilst she carried on trying to decide whether or not to keep the baby; he told her that everything happened for a reason, whilst she was adamant that she didn’t deserve to have a baby. This continued up until mid-January time, when Mum bumped into the OB attending in the ER, and booked herself an appointment. It seems that she went to that appointment intending to terminate the pregnancy, however, as she sat in the waiting room with all of the other pregnant women and children playing she realised that she couldn’t do it, and by the time that her name was called, she had decided that she was going to keep the baby.
Auntie Neela continued that Mum had wandered out to a bench by the river to think her decision through, and Dad had found her there. Apparently he told her that she had done what she had to do, and he didn’t want that one decision to destroy everything that they had; they could still be together. She told him that she hadn’t done it; she couldn’t, she wanted to have that baby.
“That baby”, Auntie Neela concluded, “was you. Your Mum was scared when she first found out that she was pregnant with you, and that is how she feels now. But one thing that she realised when she decided not to terminate that pregnancy that she wouldn’t be able to go through with a termination again, so she needs your support right now because this is going to be hard for her. She told your Dad and he sticks by his theory that ‘everything happens for a reason’, and he doesn’t think that this baby will be a bad thing. You have a strong family unit here, so try to keep it that way, and support your parents when they need you to. That’s all I have to say on the subject.”
I couldn’t stop myself from crying any longer, so I just let go, and quickly found myself wrapped in an embrace. I looked up to find Auntie Neela crying along with me, and I thanked her for helping me to see sense. We stood there for a while, before making our way upstairs; she was staying in the guest room. Before she entered her room, she turned to me and said, “Your parents are both so proud of you Louisa, and they knew that you just needed a bit of space, we all knew that you would come back”. And with that she entered her bedroom, and I did the same. Before I went to sleep I thought once again over my insecurities, but they were quickly overpowered by another voice, which told me that it didn’t matter what was going to happen in the future, we would all get through it together, as a family.
Thank you for your reviews Charlotte
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Post by rorygilmore on Aug 10, 2006 16:39:30 GMT 10
This was simply awesome, Charlotte you write in such a way that is so emotional, you've described Louisa's feelings and struggles so good...love your story!. Your last update was so beautiful.
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Post by zelda on Aug 10, 2006 22:02:54 GMT 10
Charlotte, Another great chapter. I love every word of Neela's speech and how strong her ties are with the Kovac family. And Charlotte 's feelings are very beautifully conveyed.
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Post by lubyfan on Aug 11, 2006 2:34:38 GMT 10
Great updates!
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Post by strizzy on Aug 11, 2006 7:47:55 GMT 10
I'm not too sure what I think of this, but here goes!
Chapter Twenty-Two – Thoughts
The next morning I woke up knowing that I had completely over-reacted the day before when Mum told me that she was pregnant, Auntie Neela made me see that, even though she probably didn’t even realise it. I knew that I had to apologise to Mum for running out on her, even though Auntie Neela had said that both she and Dad had understood why I had done so.
I felt so guilty for running, again. Why did it seem like that was my solution to every situation that I couldn’t quite get my head around? This was a question that I couldn’t answer just then; it was an instinctive thing that I had no control over. I was so like my Mum in that respect, because I was a pessimist and kept running away, and a lot of people had noticed, particularly when I had taken Mum’s side over Dad’s when he left.
I had other attributes as well though; I wasn’t limited to being a pessimistic fleer. I was a lot like my Dad in that I needed my own space, and I was very focused on achieving everything I set out to do. I looked a lot like Mum, and that was regularly commented on, though there was this one time when one of Mum’s friends came round, and when she saw me, she commented that my glasses made me look like my Dad. I don’t think that any of my family has ever laughed as hard as we did after she left!
Auntie Neela was right, I do have a strong family unit, and that is important to me, so I wouldn’t want to do anything to unbalance it. I looked at my clock, taking in the time, 6:30am, and I remember thinking that time always goes so slowly when all you want is for it to speed up. Of course I knew that I would be just sat around with my thoughts for another few hours, since with it still being a ridiculous time in the morning, it was almost certain that nobody would be awake. Yet I knew that I wouldn’t have been able to sleep anymore, so I decided that I ought to check out a couple of things on the Internet.
I switched my laptop on and waited for it to load up, before clicking on the shortcut for the Internet. The Internet provider’s page came up, and when I glanced at the news headlines, I caught sight of something that seemed strangely familiar. I looked closer and found that it was the mention of Chicago that I had noticed. Since that had been my home for the early years of my life, I decided to read that headline, which was entitled:
‘Fire rages through a Chicago hospital after it was attacked by protesters against animal testing’
That really caught my attention, and I scanned the article for the name of the hospital, and what I found wasn’t good:
‘County General in central Chicago has been the target of unprovoked attacks at the hands of animal rights protesters. The hospital has now been evacuated, but we are unsure of numbers of casualties and fatalities…’
It may have only been 6:45 in the morning, but my screams had everyone up early on that day. Mum, Dad and Auntie Neela came running into my bedroom, probably thinking that I had been attacked or something, but I was still speechless, so I just pointed at the screen, and suddenly everything became chaos…
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Post by <3 LubyII <3 on Aug 11, 2006 8:40:04 GMT 10
Great updates!!!
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Post by zelda on Aug 12, 2006 8:07:13 GMT 10
Charlotte, Another great chapter. I love every word of Neela's speech and how strong her ties are with the Kovac family. And Charlotte 's feelings are very beautifully conveyed. My mushy little brain was not functioning properly. Of course, I meant LOUISA's feelings.... sorry, I hang my head in shame! But this story is a rollercoaster: When the Kovac family seems to be happy at last...., some chaos is happening in the hospital? Please don't make us wait too long!
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Post by strizzy on Aug 12, 2006 9:13:03 GMT 10
Chapter Twenty-Three – Apologies Over The Atlantic
The next thing I knew, we had all thrown everything that we would all have needed into suitcases, and had set off for the airport, which was only ten minutes away with us living in Manchester (which contains one of the biggest airports in the country). We managed to buy five airline tickets to Chicago for that day at the Last Minute Travel Desk, and we were able to check-in almost immediately. I have never really liked flying, so to say that I was fed really fed up of sitting around in the airport, and just wanted to get on the plane as soon as possible, probably sounds really strange. But that was how I felt, and I knew that Mum, Dad, Auntie Neela and Will felt the same way; we all felt the need to get to County as soon as possible to make sure that all of our friends were alright.
After over two hours of sitting around doing nothing, we were finally called to the gate to board the plane. After that we were powerless; we could only sit around for the nine to ten hours that the journey was likely to take. Luckily, on Trans-Atlantic flights, the aeroplanes have individual screens for every person, so there is something to do. I, however, knew that I had something else to do; I had to talk to Mum and Dad, yet with the flight being so long I had plenty of time to consider what I was going to say to them.
The plane wasn’t full by any stretch of the imagination, so there were a lot of empty seats. I was able to talk to my parents alone, with Auntie Neela making sure that Will couldn’t eavesdrop on the conversation, especially since I didn’t even think that Mum and Dad had told him about the pregnancy, though his reaction had been one of the things that I couldn’t wait to see! Anyway, although I really would have preferred to talk to Mum alone, Auntie Neela had pretty much implied that Dad had been told of my reaction, so I figured that it was probably best to let him hear my explanation as well.
Anyway, I sat down with my parents and we talked things through, something that we hadn’t done properly in a long time because I didn’t feel like I was able to confide in either of them during the separation. Instead, at the time, I found talking to close friends and writing in a diary more therapeutic, and I guess that still hasn’t really changed much, despite my improving relationship with my parents. Weird as it sounds, sometimes it is just so easy to be able to release your opinions on matters, and the emotions that you feel, without having a judgement made about you, because a diary can’t do that, but it still provides that release that you need and lightens the burden that you carry.
Having talked to Mum and Dad about the situation together, I felt a lot better, even though we were on a flight to Chicago, not knowing what we were going to find when we got there. Will had switched off, and so Mum, Dad, Auntie Neela and I were able to discuss the issue; as far as we all knew, only the three of them had moved away, which left a lot of old friends still working at County, which also means that any of them could have been injured, or worse, died. But we knew that if we stuck together and supported each other we would get through and besides, wasn’t that what we did best!
After about nine and a half hours in the air, we landed in Chicago. The first thing that we did was check into a hotel, and then Will and I were told to stay there because they didn’t want to have to keep track of us whilst trying to help with the situation. Dad didn’t really want Mum to go because of her pregnancy, but she insisted and he gave up. They left, and Will and I settled down by the phone, knowing that were in for a long wait.
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Post by <3 LubyII <3 on Aug 12, 2006 12:01:54 GMT 10
Great update!
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Post by lubyfan on Aug 12, 2006 23:47:59 GMT 10
Great updates!
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Post by strizzy on Aug 14, 2006 4:23:19 GMT 10
Chapter Twenty-Four – On The News
It was so irritating having to sit and watch everything happen on the news, knowing that there was absolutely nothing that I could do to help. Everything was completely out of my control, and all I could think of was how many old family friends could have been lost; when my family left Chicago, there were still people at County who had been there for years: Kerry Weaver, Susan Lewis, John Carter, Greg Pratt, Ray Barnett, Archie Morris, the list went on. It was scary to think that they could have been injured, or even worse, dead.
But sitting in that hotel room, at that moment, I was more scared knowing that Mum, Dad, and Auntie Neela had gone out there; these were people who I loved dearly and couldn’t live without. Though I cared about the others, they weren’t vital to my life, I could live without them; I had for ten years as it was. I knew that I was being selfish, but that was how I felt.
There were so many injured people, the live coverage showed us that much; even though the initial incident had actually happened about twelve hours previously. There weren’t any spaces left in the other local hospitals, so a temporary medical tent had been erected on the street, which was desperate for extra help. I assumed that was what Mum, Dad and Auntie Neela were doing out there.
The extra stress that had come with the situation had taken its toll on me, and my headache had gotten more severe, so I had stepped outside for a while. The next thing that I remember was Will running out to me screaming something about another fight having broken out. I can’t describe the fear that I felt when he told me that; I felt helpless, couldn’t do anything but watch as shots were fired, and saw people falling in slow-motion, hoping and praying that everyone would be ok and make it out of there alive. I saw people running from the scene, the panic and fear apparent in their faces. I was straining my eyes, trying to catch a glimpse of my parents, Auntie Neela, anyone that I knew from County, just so that I knew that they were alive.
Then I saw them, running, Dad with his arm around Mum, Auntie Neela helping Pratt and Ray, with the rest of the ER staff around them, heading for safety. I almost couldn’t watch, and I knew that Will wasn’t, but I needed to know that they had managed to get out of there safely, and I thought that they had, until I heard one last shot ring out, and someone fell to the ground…
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