Post by hollygirl on Jun 25, 2006 4:16:04 GMT 10
Well we just got to the NICU. Luka and I spent about 2 hours in the shower. It was absolutely amazing. And even though I might have considered having another baby, it's a relief to know that I won't get pregnant no matter how often we make love. Camie says that Joe is doing a lot better, And that they want to try taking him off the vent soon. I really want to know who the godfather is...and its really starting to bother me that Luka won't tell me. I have asked him like 100 times today, and he still won't tell me. I'm guessing it's someone from Croatia that I don't know.
"Hey Luka?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you sure you don't want to tell me who Joe's godfather is? because I want to know. I told you who the godmother was."
"Well...I didn't tell you to tell me. You went out to lunch with Neela and when you came back you said "Neela agreed to be Joe's godmother!" I never asked you who you picked."
"You're a jerk, you know that?"
"No.. I'm not. You're just jealous because you know I'm right."
"Right about what?! we are not even talking about whose right or wrong, we are talking about how you are being a jerk and won't tell me who our son's godfather is."
"Noooo, I'm talking about how I'm right about never asking you who you picked."
"You can't just change the subject!"
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"Well...I just did."
Damn! I love him! I love how he always has to be right about everything. I love his hair. I love his eyes. I love his voice. I love his smell. I love his stubbornness. I love his smile. I love his kiss. And I absolutely love his touch. All he has to do is touch me and I melt. I think it's right now that I am realizing how much I LOVE this man! I want to be with him for the rest of my life! Up here in the NICU sitting by our little boy..And I'm now just realizing all of this! How do I tell the man who said "lets get married" and then I just sat there and didn't say anything that I want to marry him now? what If he doesn't want to get married anymore? that would just suck.
"You're right Luka, you didn't ask me to tell you..and I-"
I was then rudely cut off by Luka.
"Abby, you don't have to tell me I'm right. I know I'm right. I'm always right, and you know It. But it-"
His turn to be cut off now. Christ! he's starting to piss me off!
"Luka would you shut up for a minute? Jesus! I'm trying to tell you something."
"Oh...sorry go ahead. tell me what you were going to say."
ugh. now I can't even remember how I was going to put my feelings into words. Damn him!
"No..no...never mind. I don't even know what I was going to say now."
I know he can tell I'm not happy right now. in fact I'm kinda pissed at him but then he goes and rubs my arm...and now I can't even be mad at him anymore....so damn him and his touch.
"Abby, come on....don''t be mad. I'm sorry."
"I'm not mad Luka....It is impossible for me to stay at mad at me when you touch me and look at me with those eyes."
"I know..I'm irresistible." he laughs.
"Oh your so full of yourself. but I love you anyway."
yes! yes! this is good! keep going Abby!! tell him how you feel!! tell him you want to marry him!! spill it!
"Luka..Do you have any idea how much I love you?"
"Uh..well I have an idea."
"No..Luka....shut up. don't talk. just listen."
"Ok. you have my full attention..I will now be quiet starting.........now."
"Ok, thank you. .... sooo you know how last week we were in the nursery and we were talking...and I said. "I hope you know how much I love this"? well, I hope you know that this....ment you. Because I love you, everything about you. I always have, and I'm pretty sure I always will."
Great..I'm starting to get emotional now..and now I can't even say its hormones. Luka is looking at me and he just looks soooo....so touched. So happy that I am saying all of this.
"And Luka, when you said "You're right, lets get married." and I kinda just sat there and didn't say anything...and then at the hospital I told you that I tried that once..and it didn't work......well....I was thinking about it...and This time...it wouldn't be like last time. I'm a different person now. and your not Richard...And I love you...I never loved him or anyone like I love you. I was young, and stupid, and desperate to get away from my mother, my life. But you........you and I....we have something special going on...and we have a beautiful baby boy......sooo I think I'm ready to commit...I'm ready to....to.....say yes......that is, if the offer is still good."
As I finish my little speech Luka's eyes lit up...he looked soo happy! and his eyes are getting all glossy. But he's holding back. Unlike me I'm a mess. The tears are pouring out.
"Abby..I love you too. and I couldn't be happier that you said that..."
He pauses and reaches into the pocket and pulls out a small, velvet, red box. OH MY GOD! is that what I think it is?!?! oh my god...oh my god...oh my god! he could of had some super special proposal ready and I ruined it for him. He takes my hands and looks straight into my eyes. his face is serious now as he gets down on one knee...
"Oh my god...Luka.."
"Abby...a few days ago, I bought this...and when the time was right I was going to pull it out, bend down on a knee...and ask you. well I'm pretty sure that the right time is now.. so, Abigail Lockhart...will you marry me?"
oh my god...he opened the box and oh my god! the ring is beautiful!!! it is big too...it must have cost a fortune! How on earth was I lucky enough to find myself the perfect man? what am I waiting for? say something!
"Yes...hell yes, I'll marry you!"
He slips the ring on to my finger and I jump into him, squeezing him as hard as possible. he picks me up so we are at eye level. and we sort of spin around in a circle..tears are rolling down my cheeks..and his smile is priceless. everyone in the room is staring at us...and I just feel so...so whole. I lean my face closer and put my forehead to his...
"I love you Luka."
"And I love you Abby."
Not caring about everyone in the room, we go in for it and kiss....its a long, slow passionate kiss. And I don't think I have ever felt happier.
"Hey Luka?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you sure you don't want to tell me who Joe's godfather is? because I want to know. I told you who the godmother was."
"Well...I didn't tell you to tell me. You went out to lunch with Neela and when you came back you said "Neela agreed to be Joe's godmother!" I never asked you who you picked."
"You're a jerk, you know that?"
"No.. I'm not. You're just jealous because you know I'm right."
"Right about what?! we are not even talking about whose right or wrong, we are talking about how you are being a jerk and won't tell me who our son's godfather is."
"Noooo, I'm talking about how I'm right about never asking you who you picked."
"You can't just change the subject!"
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"Well...I just did."
Damn! I love him! I love how he always has to be right about everything. I love his hair. I love his eyes. I love his voice. I love his smell. I love his stubbornness. I love his smile. I love his kiss. And I absolutely love his touch. All he has to do is touch me and I melt. I think it's right now that I am realizing how much I LOVE this man! I want to be with him for the rest of my life! Up here in the NICU sitting by our little boy..And I'm now just realizing all of this! How do I tell the man who said "lets get married" and then I just sat there and didn't say anything that I want to marry him now? what If he doesn't want to get married anymore? that would just suck.
"You're right Luka, you didn't ask me to tell you..and I-"
I was then rudely cut off by Luka.
"Abby, you don't have to tell me I'm right. I know I'm right. I'm always right, and you know It. But it-"
His turn to be cut off now. Christ! he's starting to piss me off!
"Luka would you shut up for a minute? Jesus! I'm trying to tell you something."
"Oh...sorry go ahead. tell me what you were going to say."
ugh. now I can't even remember how I was going to put my feelings into words. Damn him!
"No..no...never mind. I don't even know what I was going to say now."
I know he can tell I'm not happy right now. in fact I'm kinda pissed at him but then he goes and rubs my arm...and now I can't even be mad at him anymore....so damn him and his touch.
"Abby, come on....don''t be mad. I'm sorry."
"I'm not mad Luka....It is impossible for me to stay at mad at me when you touch me and look at me with those eyes."
"I know..I'm irresistible." he laughs.
"Oh your so full of yourself. but I love you anyway."
yes! yes! this is good! keep going Abby!! tell him how you feel!! tell him you want to marry him!! spill it!
"Luka..Do you have any idea how much I love you?"
"Uh..well I have an idea."
"No..Luka....shut up. don't talk. just listen."
"Ok. you have my full attention..I will now be quiet starting.........now."
"Ok, thank you. .... sooo you know how last week we were in the nursery and we were talking...and I said. "I hope you know how much I love this"? well, I hope you know that this....ment you. Because I love you, everything about you. I always have, and I'm pretty sure I always will."
Great..I'm starting to get emotional now..and now I can't even say its hormones. Luka is looking at me and he just looks soooo....so touched. So happy that I am saying all of this.
"And Luka, when you said "You're right, lets get married." and I kinda just sat there and didn't say anything...and then at the hospital I told you that I tried that once..and it didn't work......well....I was thinking about it...and This time...it wouldn't be like last time. I'm a different person now. and your not Richard...And I love you...I never loved him or anyone like I love you. I was young, and stupid, and desperate to get away from my mother, my life. But you........you and I....we have something special going on...and we have a beautiful baby boy......sooo I think I'm ready to commit...I'm ready to....to.....say yes......that is, if the offer is still good."
As I finish my little speech Luka's eyes lit up...he looked soo happy! and his eyes are getting all glossy. But he's holding back. Unlike me I'm a mess. The tears are pouring out.
"Abby..I love you too. and I couldn't be happier that you said that..."
He pauses and reaches into the pocket and pulls out a small, velvet, red box. OH MY GOD! is that what I think it is?!?! oh my god...oh my god...oh my god! he could of had some super special proposal ready and I ruined it for him. He takes my hands and looks straight into my eyes. his face is serious now as he gets down on one knee...
"Oh my god...Luka.."
"Abby...a few days ago, I bought this...and when the time was right I was going to pull it out, bend down on a knee...and ask you. well I'm pretty sure that the right time is now.. so, Abigail Lockhart...will you marry me?"
oh my god...he opened the box and oh my god! the ring is beautiful!!! it is big too...it must have cost a fortune! How on earth was I lucky enough to find myself the perfect man? what am I waiting for? say something!
"Yes...hell yes, I'll marry you!"
He slips the ring on to my finger and I jump into him, squeezing him as hard as possible. he picks me up so we are at eye level. and we sort of spin around in a circle..tears are rolling down my cheeks..and his smile is priceless. everyone in the room is staring at us...and I just feel so...so whole. I lean my face closer and put my forehead to his...
"I love you Luka."
"And I love you Abby."
Not caring about everyone in the room, we go in for it and kiss....its a long, slow passionate kiss. And I don't think I have ever felt happier.