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Post by zelda on Dec 3, 2006 9:41:05 GMT 10
Hi, Coffequeen! ( love the name! ) I spent some time today reading and rereading your fic. You are really TALENTED because you know how to structure your story! This choice to separate the fic into 2 different parts, is awesome. ESPECIALLY because you start with the HAPPY LINES. We know from the beginning that Luka and Abby are living together, have a baby and are obviuosly happy and very much in love. The flashbacks are so more intense. ( the dark sides of Abby's childhood are very harsh, especially with Maggie's creepy boyfriend ready to make a pass at Abby. We find here what we already know about her past, but with a new perspective. Her only fierce desire before ALL THE REST, is to protect Eric and go away as soon as possible! Then back to reality, with a sweet scene where she is watching Joe sleep. And the presence of Luka always protective. The fascinating aspect is how you are gonna explain to us how she managed to overcome her fears. And the last chapter shows how past and present interfere....Abby sometimes needs to be shut down from the rest of the world in her own bubble. I am really hooked to your story, because you dig very hard inside Abby and Luka's hearts, and we are longing to know how they MADE IT WORK! Thank you for pointing out that when Luka met Abby, there was war in Croatia, and his personal story was also a very harsh experience for him. Sorry for this rambling, but I got hooked and wanted to say: MERCI BEAUCOUP!
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Post by erfan228 on Dec 3, 2006 9:51:43 GMT 10
Great update!! I can't wait to read!!!
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Post by coffeequeen on Dec 4, 2006 10:25:37 GMT 10
From here on it’s mostly going to be in the past because I find that it’s a bit easier to do but there might be one in the future that‘s based on the present. The comments were awesome, thanks you guys all rock! And Zelda don’t worry I ramble a lot too sometimes. Like right now. Anyway here’s he next part.
“Abby, Eric hey you guys I brought you cookies and pizza!” Maggie said excitedly as she entered the apartment.
Abby looked up at her mother, she wasn’t sure what she wanted to do. Cry, scream, hit.
“Hey look I brought you all cheese because that’s your favorite and a new skirt isn‘t it cute.” Maggie said as she held the skirt up. “You’ve been gone three days.” Abby said incredulously at her mother who seemed indifferent to the fact that she had left her children alone for three days. “Oh, Abby don’t be mad. I’m sorry honey, this is the last time. I won’t do it again.” “Oh mo-” “Mommy!” Eric screamed as he ran up to his mother. “Oh, hi honey looked I brought you pizza.” “Awesome.” Eric said with a grin as he grabbed a greasy slice and stuffed as much as he could into his mouth. Abby looked up as the man from the other night entered the apartment. Now she knew where her mother had been the last three days. “Hey, cutie.” the man said as he sat next to Abby. “I need air.” Abby said and with that she stormed out shutting the door as hard as she could behind her. ____________________________________________________
Abby walked to Calder Park. The same place where she had been last night. The breeze though was slightly stronger than it had been that night. Her eyes became blurred with tears she refused to let free. She sat on a bench that seemed to be waiting for her and felt the coldness seep from it through her jeans and into her flesh. She closed her eyes as if to build a dam to her tears in, but it didn’t hold. She was so tired; tired of being the pillar that kept her mother up, the girl that had to work so they could actually real food once in a while. She wiped her tears and took a breathe of the crisp air. She realized it was Friday. She had forgotten to meet the boy at the café the afternoon. “Crap!” She sighed as she slammed a hand to her forehead. She looked up at the sky that was a mixture of navy blue and dark violet and shut her eyes. “Are you okay?” a rich voice behind her asked. She turned around and saw Luka there dressed in casual jeans and a dark blue hoodie sweater. He looked alluring standing in the shadows with his head cocked slightly to one side. She recovered quickly from her thoughts. “ I’m fine. Why are you here?” she asked before realizing that it probably sounded mean. “I was, um, looking for you.” he said as he blushed slightly. “Oh, how did you know I’d be here?” “I uh, saw you last night here.” his face became scarlet. “Oh.” she said looking down, he had probably seen her down the whole spinning thing. She quickly thought of a way to change the subject. “Are you suppose to be out at night?” she asked giving him a scolding look. “Not really, I just needed air. What about you?” “Same.” They both fell into a comfortable silence. “I’m sor-” they both began. She looked at him curiously what was he sorry about? “You can go first.” he said as he sat next to her. “Um, okay I’m sorry about not meeting you tod-” she was cut off. “Actually I was going to apologize for not meeting you there. I couldn’t go either.” She looked at him with an eyebrow raised and they locked for a brief second before looking away and laughing at how ironic it was that they both couldn’t go. After the silence subsided they weren’t sure about what to say to each other. Abby thought for a sec, but was interrupted by the sounds of sirens and screams. She looked around as two kids about the same age as herself and Luka ran by them. She stood up followed by Luka who looked confused. Two cop cars climbed on top of the grass in the park and a woman got out followed by a older looking woman. “That’s them!” The woman yelled thinking that Abby and Luka were the two previous people that had just ran by pointing towards them. “We didn’t do anything!” Abby yelled looking at Luka as if for help. The cops looked at Abby and Luka and started towards them. Abby recovered the fastest and grabbed Luka’s hand and began running, almost dragging him with her. “We didn’t do anything, we shouldn’t run.” he said slowing her down. “Yeah, they really gonna believe us. Let’s go!” she said sarcastically. He looked at her worriedly “Fine.” They heard cops shouting at them to stop. Right. They were really gonna stop and get arrested. The cops ran back to their cars as Abby and Luka ran into an alley way and pressed against the cool brick wall. They watched the as the cars went by, and slowly the sound of sirens faded into the night. She looked back at Luka, they were both breathing hard and the temperature had gone significantly down so that they could see every breathe they took. It came out in small clouds that puffed out like small white ghosts.
“I can’t believe we just ran from the cops.” he looked. “I’m a magnet for trouble, Its like attracted to me.” Abby said looking at him in the eyes. He continued to look right at her. “That’s part of what makes you intriguing.” “You think I’m intriguing?” she asked quietly. “ Yes, here take my sweater, your shivering.” he said as he took it off. “No its okay, you need it.” she said although she was tempted to take it. “We almost ran to where I’m living, its near.” She took it reluctantly but at the same time grateful as she put it on and was enveloped in its warmth. His warmth. They looked around and laughed randomly both at the same thought of running away from the authorities. “I have to get home.” he said with a trace of disappointment in it. “Oh, when should give you this back?” she asked. “Monday.” he said thoughtfully. “What?” she asked confused watching him walk back in the direction they came from. “I start Lincoln High School on Monday.” he said with a flirty smile before he began walked away.
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Post by erfan228 on Dec 4, 2006 10:52:41 GMT 10
Great update!! Why were the cops after them?!?
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Post by Real Dream on Dec 4, 2006 15:55:52 GMT 10
ooooo I absolutly need an update! Really great story, you're an incredible writer! I don't have the impresson to read your fic, but to see it. The parts with abby and luka are incredibly touching because all around them it's darkness. Hope you're okay
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Post by lubyfreaky on Dec 5, 2006 4:47:43 GMT 10
Great Update
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Mitsi1819
Marquise of Luby
Somewhere, Somehow, I'll Find You..
Posts: 274
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Post by Mitsi1819 on Dec 5, 2006 6:22:13 GMT 10
Woow, I missed a few updates (yeah, we should all be soooo thankfull for being educated...), and that's a waste! This is such a good fic... I'm in love with it, simply in love... The way you write is magical... Please update soooooon
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Post by jadestar on Dec 5, 2006 6:45:10 GMT 10
ooh a lovely update, I can picture all of this in my head... and I had to laugh about the two of them running away from the police... well, it's a great fic!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by *Natalie* on Dec 5, 2006 7:06:34 GMT 10
Great update natalie x
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Post by zelda on Dec 6, 2006 6:31:43 GMT 10
Coffequeen, ( writing your name just because I love it! I love the contrast between the two parts. Abby is so insecure and fragile with her family ( really hate Maggie's boyfriend who is a jerk! ) and she is just a happy teenager, laughing and doing daft things when she is with Luka. Great style which conveys all these different emotions!
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Post by coffeequeen on Dec 6, 2006 14:55:52 GMT 10
Thanks for your replies and Zelda I’m glad you like my name! I was drinking coffee while I made the account and that’s how it came to me. This is more of a happier fic in the beginning but turns sad towards the end.
Abby felt like she was floating on top of water just looking up at the endless clouds. He was amazing, yet he held a lot of pain within him just as she did. Something he hadn’t shared with her, but it constantly hurt him. It had been two weeks since he had started school along with her. She thought that he would blow her off, with all the recent attention he was getting from all the other girls at school. But to her surprise he didn’t, he stayed and it scared her. Scared her more than what she thought was possible. She liked his company, the jokes they shared, they unintended feeling when their arms brushed against each other. She had always liked being alone, her whole life she had learned to depend on no one but herself. And now she wanted him to be there, to listen to her when she had a bad day, to tell her that life would always work out one way or another. He had this wisdom that not many seventeen year-olds had. She loved the way they could communicate with their eyes as if they had an almost supernatural connection. But she couldn’t fall for him. Or could she? She shook her head, no she couldn’t. He was leaving in a few months to the place he was meant to be, and she would be left again feeling emptier than before. But she realized something; it was too late she already had. Every time they were together, she felt wanted to hold on to what she was feeling at that moment. It was like lighting a candle amidst all the darkness.
Abby returned to reality and looked down at the poor frog that was sitting in the container in front of her. She pressed her lips together, and sighed. She wasn’t queasy, but the idea of having to open up an innocent poor live frog made her chest feel tight. Sure she’d do it if it was to help the frog, but this was killing it to just see its insides.
“Ms. Wycenski do we have a problem?” Mr. Carson asked as he neared her table looking over at her through a pair of absurdly huge glasses. He reminded Abby of a shrimp, but she quickly dismissed the thought as to not laugh
“No.” she said weakly and gave a tight smile.
“Then why don’t take your frog out of its container and get it ready to dissect.” he said as he walked away.
“Sure.” She kept staring at the frog and was vaguely aware that Luka was watching her stare at the frog with a smirk that he had definitely picked up from her. She heard the Mr. Carson give all the instructions and placed the frog in the position he demonstrated while she licked her lips.
“Any questions?”
“Yeah, isn’t like a sin to kill?” Abby asked as she looked at him an amused face.
“If you want to fail this class then by all means continue to act like that. You may begin.”
She raised the scalpel and watched as the poor frog tried to desperately squirm away from her grasp. She looked around and her gaze stopped at the tank of frogs at the back of the room on a cart. By the end of the day all those frogs would be dead, murdered really, it wasn’t fair. She looked over at Luka who was looking very sentimental as he carefully placed the frog on the table. She caught his eye and flashed her idea by her mind as he continued to stare into her dark eyes. A huge contrast to his smoky emerald eyes, that were so deep sometimes she was afraid of losing herself completely in them. It was a huge risk, because for her that meant not being to find her way out. She moved her gaze to the tank and back to him; he looked back at her and raised his eyebrows. Yet, another gesture he had learned from her. She walked to the tank, and felt his eyes on her the whole way she walked there. In a swift motion she lifted the top off the tank, and pushed the tank toward the window she pushed the tank over and heard the screams of the Mr. Carson contrasting against the hysterical laughter and screams of awe of the other students…
“I can’t believe you did that! That was crazy!” Luka cried in between bouts of laughter. It felt nice to have him laugh that careless, and maybe just momentarily forget the problems that were imbedded in his life.
“It was horrible to have him make us do that all those frogs!”
“I thought you didn’t have a problem blood or any queasiness.”
“I don’t, its just that we weren’t helping those frogs we were killing them.”
“We had to do it for class.”
“Whatever…frog murderer.” she said with a small smile ……..
Abby walked into her apartment, and saw Eric watching TV while looking down casually to scribble something on his piece of paper.
“Hey.” she called to him as she sat on the couch.
“Mom’s here, I think she ‘s in the room. She said she didn’t feel well.” He said as he continued to stare at the TV.
She wrinkled her forehead, that wasn’t a good sign. She walked into the bedroom and found that Maggie was not in there, just a few blankets bundled together on the bed. She felt here heart beat a bit faster as she called her mother’s name with a bit of fear. It only came out as a whisper as she called her mom and not Maggie as she usually did. She walked slowly to the bathroom, hoping that she was just overreacting and that everything was just fine. That hope faded the moment she pushed open the door. She felt oxygen disappear from around her and felt her blood freeze in her veins, as she saw her mother‘s corpse pale body on the cold tile floor…
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Post by erfan228 on Dec 7, 2006 3:26:48 GMT 10
OMG!! Get back here and update right now!!! This fic is great!!
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Post by maggie on Dec 7, 2006 4:08:49 GMT 10
go abby for freeing the froggies! i refuse to dissect anything - thank goodness, i've never had the horror of seeing a critter alive before dissection. i hig under the table in freshman biology.
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Post by lubyfreaky on Dec 7, 2006 4:44:58 GMT 10
Great Update
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Post by *Natalie* on Dec 7, 2006 8:09:44 GMT 10
Great update Glad Abby set the frogs free natalie x
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