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Post by les400coups on Jul 4, 2006 5:06:40 GMT 10
yesss !! you start a new fic !! and it's amazing!! i cant wait to read more !! good luck with your work!!
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Post by *Natalie* on Jul 4, 2006 7:06:56 GMT 10
Great fic!!! Cant wait for you to do more
natalie xx
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Post by lubyfan on Jul 4, 2006 7:38:25 GMT 10
a new fic Really great, love it!
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Post by <3 LubyII <3 on Jul 4, 2006 13:38:36 GMT 10
Great update!
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Post by elsj on Jul 4, 2006 19:35:33 GMT 10
Great fanfic
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rnintraining513
Duchess of Luby
"I don't need a ring or a white dress to tell you how much I love you."
Posts: 322
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Post by rnintraining513 on Jul 5, 2006 6:28:59 GMT 10
Chapter 5: “Something for Me”
Dr. Anderson’s office was spotless. Abby marveled at neatly stacked filing baskets and the shiny and dust-free desk before her. Abby had once heard that a doctor’s office tells you a lot about their practice. Personally, she thought it was a load of crap. How could you judge the talent of a doctor by the cleanliness of his office? Soon enough, the gentle closing of the office door snapped Abby back from her silent reverie. “Hello Abby,” Dr. Anderson said as she walked over to Abby and extended her hand. “I’m sorry to have kept you waiting, but I had an emergency caesarean section this morning and it totally threw off my schedule.” Abby smiled as she shook Dr. Anderson’s hand. Normally she wasn’t a very patient person, but how could she be upset with such a friendly and professional person? “No problem,” Abby said. “I stopped by the hospital to speak to you, but Adrienne told me you were at the office seeing patients, so I decided to stop by and see if you were still here. I’m glad that I caught you.” Dr. Anderson nodded as she sat on the edge of her desk and folded her arms across her chest. With kind eyes, she looked down at Abby. “What’s on your mind, Abby?” The doctor asked. Abby looked down at her hand for a moment and spun her wedding ring around her 4th finger. She swallowed hard before she got enough courage to look up at the doctor again.
“I need an OB,” Abby said simply. Once again, Dr. Anderson nodded at Abby and smiled, but when she saw the expressionless look on Abby’s face, the doctor’s pleasant face grew serious too. “I take it this isn’t something you were expecting?” Dr. Anderson asked, standing up from her temporary seat on the edge of her desk and pulling out the computer chair behind her desk. Abby shook her head. “Not exactly,” she said, lowering her head once again. Dr. Anderson gently strummed her fingers on the shiny desk for a moment before she spoke once more. “Well Abby, you’ve been a nurse in OB for a few years now, so I know you are aware of your options.” Abby nodded and swallowed down the tears welling up from deep within her chest. “It’s complicated,” Abby began, finally meeting Dr. Anderson’s eyes with her own. “I’m finally in the right place to start my residency. In fact, I’m starting my first rotation in the ER next week. A smile came to Dr. Anderson’s face at Abby’s words. “Congratulations, Abby,” she said. “I’m disappointed that we are losing a great nurse, but I know you’ll be an excellent doctor.” A brief smile crossed Abby’s lips as she nodded across the desk at Dr. Anderson. “Thank you,” she said.
Abby glanced down at her hands one more and the sight of her wedding ring caught her eye once again. This time, she closed her fist tightly around her ring finger. “Well Abby, I know this is your decision, but medical school will always be there,” Dr. Anderson said. “You’ve done the hard part already.” Abby sighed at she crossed her arms and shifted her weight in the hard wooden chair. “It’s not just that,” Abby began. There’s more to it.” Dr. Anderson nodded and urged Abby to continue speaking. “I’ve had divorce papers in my dresser drawn for the past year. I’ve been putting it off and putting it off. I thought maybe things would get better, but they didn’t. I thought we’d be able to work out our problems, but instead we just stopped talking.” Abby paused for a moment and then she began to speak once more. “I left the divorce papers at the apartment last night. I’m moving out. I’ve been having morning sickness for about two weeks now, but I’ve been too afraid to take a pregnancy test. But last night, everything hit me, it hit me hard and I knew what I had to do.” Dr. Anderson nodded. “That’s understandable, Abby,” she said. “Bringing a baby into a failing marriage isn’t the easiest thing in the world.” Abby lowered her head shamefully. “I don’t give up on people easily. I hate quitting. In fact, I’ve never quit at anything in my entire life. I guess that’s why I kept trying to stay in this marriage. I just didn’t want to quit.”
Abby felt her eyes begin to fill with tears and she reached up wiped her eyes before they began to roll down her warm cheeks. Dr. Anderson slid a box of tissues across the desk and set them in front of Abby. “Thanks,” she said, looking up for a brief moment. “I never really knew my father,” Abby began. “Both my mother and brother are bi-polar and I spent most of my life moving from state to state, taking care of them. Nothing about my life was normal. I don’t even know what it’s like to be a part of a normal family. Not only am I terrified that the baby could be bi-polar, but I’m also scared to death that I’ll mess up. The thought of raising a child on my own scares me to death. Sometimes I don’t even know how to take care of me.” Dr. Anderson leaned forward in her chair and rested her chin in the palm of her hand. “With your genetic history, it is a realistic possibility that the baby may be bi-polar, but there is also a chance that the baby would be perfectly normal and healthy,” She said.
Abby nodded and closed her eyes that were becoming filled with tears and sadness. Her eyes were still closed when she began to speak. “I wanted to become a doctor for as long as I can remember. When things got bad at home and I needed to get away, I would lock myself in my room and read. At first, I tried to learn everything I could about bi-polar disorder. One summer when I was about 11 or 12, I got a library card and took out every book that I could find about it. I thought those books would give me some hope…would tell me some way to help them, to make them better. I learned about the ups and downs of the disease and I thought by knowing, I could prevent myself from becoming bi-polar. Once I got a little older and I realized that nothing I could do would ever make Maggie better, I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t waste my life. I was the lucky one. If I couldn’t help my mother and my brother, I would help other people. I love working in OB and I love being a nurse. There is nothing better then holding a brand new, healthy, baby. They are so tiny and innocent, so pure. No one has had the chance to mess them up yet. For me, that is enough. That is real enough to me without being real. Maybe that’s as close as I’m meant to be to being a mother.” Abby crunched the moist tissue up in her clammy hand and sniffed. “I’ve spent my entire life waiting for this moment. Ever since I was a little girl I have been looking out for my family and taking care of my mother and brother like I was the parent. When Richard and I got married and started medical school, I was the one who sacrificed. I agreed to work while he went to school. But I’ve done my part and now it’s my turn to finally do something for myself. It’s time for me to live my own life, for me. This is what I want.”
Dr. Anderson leaned across the table and grabbed Abby’s hand and held it close to her chest. “Do what will make you happy, Abby,” she said. “Do what is best for you. Abby nodded her head and wiped a straggling tear from her cheek. “This is what I want,” she repeated. Dr. Anderson nodded and pulled out her daily planner. “I have office hours tomorrow. What time do you get off of work?” Abby looked up at Dr. Anderson. “I work from 11-7,” she said. Dr. Anderson grabbed a pen from the cup on her desk. “My first appointment is at 8:30 tomorrow morning. Why don’t you head over after your shift ends. I can do the procedure here, that way this can just be between you and I,” Dr. Anderson said as she gently squeezed Abby’s hand. Abby smiled at her behind red eyes. “Thank you,” she said.
Chapter 6: “The Cost of Freedom”
Abby was grateful to go to work that night. She tried her best to keep herself busy, but with each baby she held, her sadness grew. With each hour that passed, the sickened feeling in the pit of her stomach grew stronger. Finally, she couldn’t take it any longer. Abby walked to the nurse’s station and crossed her arms on the counter. She glanced down at Carol who was swamped with a giant stack of paperwork. “I’ll trade you,” Abby said, nodding towards the pile of papers and holding out a list of patient’s names in her hand. “Are you seriously trading me patients for paperwork?” Carol asked, her face was puzzled. Abby nodded. “I had a rough night, and I need to get off of my feet for a little while,” she said. Carol smiled as she stood up from her hair and stretched. “Gladly,” she said, handing Abby a pen and holding out the chair for her. “Thanks,” Abby said. “I owe you.” Carol laughed. “No, I owe you!” She laughed. “That’s a shitload of paperwork you just saved me fro doing.” Abby smiled as she sat down. “Your right, you do owe me!” She laughed.
The endless amount of paperwork took Abby away from her troubled thoughts for the last few hours of her shift. She arrived at Dr. Anderson’s office just past seven thirty and a few moments later she was lying in the procedure room, dressed in a skimpy paper gown, shivering. After gathering her supplies, Dr. Anderson walked to the head of the bed and gently patted Abby on the forearm. “This is the right decision for you, Abby,” she said, leaning down close to her ear. Abby nodded her head slowly. “I know,” she said. “But that doesn’t make it any easier.”
A few moments later, Dr. Anderson sat on a rolling stool at the foot of the surgical table where Abby was laying. “Do you want me to go over the procedure with you?” Dr. Anderson asked. Abby shook her head. “I know how it goes,” Abby replied. Dr. Anderson nodded. “Okay then, Abby. Take a deep breath and relax. Let’s get started.” Abby took a deep breath and held it until she felt like her lungs were going to explode. When she finally released the hot air from her tired lungs, she felt all of the unpleasant thoughts seep from her foggy mind and all of the pain drain from her tired body. She left Dr. Anderson’s office that day a changed person, and for the first time in her entire life, she felt free. But as they say, freedom doesn’t come for free. Abby felt the pain of her choice like a tiny pin prick, straight through her heart.
“The Real Life”
I wanted to find somewhere to hide And I opened up and left those fears inside And I wanted to be anyone else Only to find that there was no one there but me
But I woke up to real life And I realized its not worth running from anymore When there was nowhere left to hide I found out That nothings real here but I wont stop now until I find a better part of me
I let those hard days get me down And all the things I hate got in my way I could of screamed without a sound I found myself silenced by those things they say
But I woke up to real life And I realized its not worth running from anymore When there was nowhere left to hide I found out That nothings real here but I wont stop now until I find a better part of me
Thats out there somewhere And it cant be that far away Thats where ill find myself And ill find my way out Thats where ill find out
But I woke up to real life And I realized its not worth running from anymore When there was nowhere left to hide I found out That nothings real here but I wont stop now until I find a better part of me
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rnintraining513
Duchess of Luby
"I don't need a ring or a white dress to tell you how much I love you."
Posts: 322
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Post by rnintraining513 on Jul 5, 2006 6:29:24 GMT 10
Chapter 7: “Starting at the Bottom”
In the distance, Abby heard an annoying buzzing sound. She fought with herself for a moment, trying hard to stay in her world of sleep and dreams for as long as she could. She knew what the sound of the alarm meant. It meant back to reality. Back to the pain of divorce and decisions and the challenges that lie ahead. Abby took the pillow from the top of her head and threw it onto the floor. She groaned as she pushed the comforter off of her tired body and sat up. She looked at the clock and groaned once more. She was due at the hospital at 6. The hospital, just the thought of it made her stomach drop. Sure, she had worked at the hospital every day for years, but today was different. Today, she would begin her career as a doctor. She was so nervous that she wanted to throw up.
Abby walked into the kitchen and groggily opened the refrigerator door. She was glad that she wasn’t a breakfast person because the refrigerator was practically empty. In fact, the entire apartment was practically empty. She debated for a moment between having orange juice or milk and then grabbed the carton of orange juice and sat down on the folding chair next to the old, white-washed kitchen table. The creaky kitchen table was one of the ancient pieces of furniture left behind in the tiny apartment. The old woman who lived there before had lived there, alone for years and had died in the apartment in just that way. She chuckled to herself as she poured some orange juice into a paper cup. She imagined that the apartment was under some strange curse and she saw herself, alone in this exact apartment as an old lady, drinking orange juice and eating prunes all alone. “I’m lucky,” she thought to herself. “At least I didn’t have to buy a kitchen table!”
Abby walked a few feet to the bathroom and grabbed her toothbrush from the sink. It was odd to only see one toothbrush there. She was used to seeing Richard’s toothbrush next to her own and for the first time since she’d left Richard, Abby felt lonely. She plopped a wad of toothpaste onto her toothbrush and put it into the side of her mouth. With her free hand, she combed her fingers through her short, dark brown hair. She rolled her eyes and her disheveled appearance and the dark rings beginning to form underneath of her eyes. “Great, I haven’t even started my residency and I already look like crap!” Abby thought to herself. Once she got dressed, Abby decided to try on her white lab coat. She smiled as she looked at herself in the mirror. “You earned this, Abby,” she thought to herself. With that she grabbed her bag and her stethoscope and headed out the door.
As she headed towards the sliding doors of County’s ER, Abby felt her confidence begin to grow. She had been waiting for this moment for years. She felt relieved in knowing that she probably had more experience in the medical field then any of the other medical students. She lowered her eyes slightly as she walked towards the reception area. A few doctors were scattered around and a big man sitting by a computer glanced up at Abby. “Can I help you?” He asked, only glancing up at Abby for a second before looking back down at the monitor before him. “Hi, I’m Abigail Lockhart,” she said. “It’s my first day. I’m a first year resident.” The man looked up at Abby and lowered his glasses. “Just a first year?” He asked, noting Abby’s age. She lowered her head for a moment and then nodded. “I was an RN in OB here for a few years,” she said. Frank nodded and spun around on his stool. “Weaver, fresh meat,” he said, turning back to his monitor. Dr. Weaver grabbed a pad of paper from the cluttered desk and looked down at it. “Yes. Abigail Lockhart I presume,” Dr. Weaver said, walking towards Abby. Abby extended her hand and Dr. Weaver took it. “Abby,” she said. Dr. Weaver nodded. “I’m Kerry Weaver, ER chief resident.” Abby nodded and smiled. “Nice to meet you,” she said.
Kerry turned and introduced Abby to the other two doctors standing at the desk. “Abby, this is Dr. John Carter, one of our top, young residents and this is Dr. Lucy Knight, she’s a second year resident.” “Nice to meet you,” Lucy said. John stepped forward and extended his hand. “Welcome aboard,” he said. Abby nodded and smiled. “Thanks,” she said. Just then, the large man who had originally greeted Abby spun around on his stool. “And what am I? Chopped liver?” He asked. Kerry laughed. “This is Frank,” she said, patting him on the back. “Dr. Carter, can you show Abby to the lounge and find her a locker?” Kerry asked. John nodded his head. “Sure,” he said, flipping the chart he held in his hands underneath his arm. “Follow me, Abby,” he said as he began to walk down the hall. Abby quickened her steps to catch up to Dr. Carter. “Frank’s a pain in the ass,” John said, smiling. Abby smiled back. “But don’t get me wrong, he means well,” he added with a laugh. Abby laughed too. “Your first name is John, right?” Abby asked. “I’m sorry, I’m terrible with names.” Dr. Carter moved his arm to reveal his name stiched about the pocket on the left hand side of his lab coat. “Oh, yeah,” Abby said, embarrassed. John laughed and shook his head. “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “But yeah, my name is John, but everyone just calls me Carter.” Abby nodded her head. “I think I can remember that one,” she said.
John opened the lounge door for Abby. “Thank you,” she said as she walked through. John walked around a little bend and tapped on empty locker. “This one is empty,” he said. “It’s right in between mine and Lucy’s.” Abby nodded her head and walked towards the locker. “Thanks,” she said as she attempted to pull open the bent metal locker. She pushed and pulled at it for a moment and then looked at Carter and laughed. “My God, I feel like a high school freshman,” she said. “I can’t even get the damn locker open!” John laughed and walked over to her locker. “Well, I guess I am at the bottom of the food chain,” Abby added as Carter fumbled with her locker. “Don’t sweat it,” he said. “You just have to learn the ropes.” With that, he quickly pushed the handle of the locker in and kicked the bottom part that was slightly bent. A second later, the locker popped open. Abby laughed. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” she said. “You mean I have to fight with my locker like that every time I open it?” Carter shrugged. “You get to upgrade as a second year resident,” he said. “The last person who had that locker didn’t exactly leave on the best terms.” Abby rolled her eyes. “It figures,” she said. “I have the worst luck ever.” Carter looked at her with puzzled eyes as the door flung open. “We’ve got a hit and run coming in,” Lucy called in. “It’s a mother and son. We need all the help we can get.” Carter’s face lit up as he looked at Abby. “You ready?” He asked. Abby let out a deep sigh. “As ready as I’ll ever be,” she said. Then they headed out the door.
Lucy, Carter and Abby stood outside and waited for the ambulances to arrive. Abby stood stiffly with her hands tucked into the pockets of her lab coat. Her stethoscope was placed neatly around her neck. Carter looked at her and laughed. “Don’t make it look so obvious,” he said to her. Abby looked over at him confused. “What?” She asked. Lucy nudged Abby on the arm. “Don’t mind Carter,” she said. “He thinks he’s the big man on campus and we residents are his lowly servants.” Lucy rolled her eyes and Abby laughed. “That’s not true!” Carter said. “I showed Dr. Lockhart here how to use her locker.” Lucy let out a quick chuckle. “Oh that was so kind of you!” She said. “I didn’t use a locker my first year,” Lucy added. “They tried to give me that broken one.” Abby looked down at the ground. “That’s my locker,” she said. “Sorry!” Lucy laughed.
A gust of cold air blew as they stood and waited for the ambulances to arrive. John looked up at the sky. “I hope they get here before the rain comes,” he said. Abby nodded and continued to look straight ahead. “So, why do you have to worst luck ever?” Carter asked. Abby’s lips turned up into a smile. “I just moved into this new apartment where this old widow lived. She died there and I’m using her furniture,” she said. Carter laughed. “That’s pretty creepy,” he said. “It is,” she answered. “I’ve been sleeping with the lights on since I moved in. I’m going to have to take an extra shift just to pay my electric bill.” Carter laughed and his head perked up as they heard the sound of sirens coming closer. Abby swallowed hard as the ambulance came into view. “Let’s do this,” Carter said as he and Lucy began to walk forward. Abby stood there frozen for a moment before she ran to catch up to the pair of doctors. From then on, there was no looking back.
"Moving Forward"
At least I'm moving forward. At least I'm moving forward. At least I'm moving forward. At least I'm moving forward...
I stand before, a road that will lead, Into the unknown. At least unknown to me. I want to go, but I'm paralysed with fear. Fear of a choice, where the outcome isn't clear.
And I take, the first step of a million more. And I'll make mistakes I've never made before. But at least I'm moving forward, at least I'm moving forward. At least I'm moving forward...
I wonder if, the journey will be, Shorter as I hope, or much longer than it seems. But either way, I've made up my mind. I'm through feeling scared, I'm leaving that behind.
Sooo, Now it's time to gooo.
And I take, the first step of a million more. And I'll make mistakes I've never made before. But at least I'm moving forward, at least I'm moving forward. At least I'm moving forward...
And I take, the first step of a million more. And I'll make mistakes I've never made before. But at least I'm moving forward, at least I'm moving forward. At least I'm moving forward, at least I'm moving forward
Chapter 8: “Broken”
The doors of the first ambulance slid open and the paramedics lifted out a young woman, battered from the impact of a hit and run accident. Abby had to bite her lip to keep from gasping at the enormous hole in the center of the woman’s stomach. “We’ve got a 32-year-old female, pedestrian versus car. BP is 160/95, heart rate is 84 and tacky. Possible head injury. She seems to have taken the brunt of the impact but the little boy was thrown about 20 feet from the vehicle. As they walked towards the doors, they were greeted by doctor Weaver. “Dr. Lockhart, you come with me, Lucy, you go with Carter.” Abby glanced back at Carter one last time before she headed through the doors with Kerry. He smiled at her and gave her a thumbs up before she turned away.
Everything that happened during Abby’s first trauma was a hazy blur. The people around her seemed to be moving in slow motion, the words and commands spoken by the other doctors sounded far away and foreign. Abby fumbled around the table, handing Dr. Weaver supplies and trying not to get in the way. “Dr. Lockhart, Billy needs a central line,” Kerry said, but Abby simple stood there and nodded her head. “Dr. Lockhart, start a central line,” Dr. Weaver repeated. Abby nodded her head and turned to the nurse who handed her the supplies. Abby mumbled the items that she needed without even thinking and felt surprised at herself for actually knowing the correct items to use with her mind in such a frenzy. Her hands were shaky and sweaty as she struggled to start a central line. “I think I got it,” she said, looking over at Dr. Weaver. “How can we be sure?” Dr. Weaver asked, glaring at Abby. Abby looked down at the tube inserted under the boy’s skin just below his collar bone. She tried to think but nothing came. “Damn it, I know this,” she thought to herself. “Even a nurse knows this!” As they waited, Billy’s stats began to drop. “Pressure is dropping,” one of the nurses said. Abby looked up at the monitor panicked. “Dr. Lockhart?” Kerry asked once more, but Abby was silent. “I don’t know,” she said. Dr. Weaver pushed her way past Abby. “The tube should have drained by now Abby,” she said. “Now step aside.” Abby stepped back and held her bloody hands up and out in front of her. Abby watched horrified as the little boy in front of her crashed. “Damn it, we lost his pulse,” Kerry said. “Dr. Lockhart, get in here and start compressions.” Relieved, Abby jumped in and began compressing the boy’s chest. At least she couldn’t mess up too terribly on this. But a few moment later, things got even worse. “V-fib” one of the nurses said. “Get the paddles,” Dr. Weaver called. When the paddles arrived at the bedside, Abby stopped compressions and turned to Dr. Weaver. “Dr. Lockhart, this is yours,” she said to Abby. Abby grabbed the paddles from Kerry’s hands and turned back to the little boy. “Charge to 200,” she said, holding the paddles slightly above the little boy’s chest. “Clear!” She said, as she shocked Billy. No response. “Charge to 250,” Abby said. “Clear!” Still, there was nothing. “Charge to 300!” Abby yelled. “Come on Billy,” she heard herself mumble. “Clear!” Abby glanced up at the monitor. “Asystole,” one of the nurse’s called.
Abby continued to work on Billy until she felt dizzy with fatigue and her arms ached. “How long has he been down?” Dr. Carter asked as he walked through the doors from the adjoining room. “45 minutes,” Kerry answered. Abby continued to compress the boy’s chest. She didn’t glance up. She couldn’t bear to see the look on Carter’s face or the disappointment in Dr. Weaver’s eyes. “Dr. Lockhart, call it,” Dr. Weaver said. Abby quickly glanced up at them and Carter’s eyes met her own. The she looked back down at Billy. “I can keep going,” she said. “I’m not that tired.” Carter took a steps towards Abby so that he could speak more softly. “Dr. Lockhart, he’s been down too long. His brain isn’t getting sufficient oxygen. There is nothing more we can do.” Still, Abby continued to compress the boy’s chest. Carter walked around the edge of the table and stood beside Abby. “Dr. Lockhart, let him go,” he said, reaching down and pulling her hands off of the little boy’s chest. Abby’s head dropped down dejectedly. “Dr. Lockhart, call it”,” Dr. Weaver repeated. Carter opened his mouth to speak but Kerry held up her hand. “John, let Abby call it,” she said. John closed his mouth. When Abby looked up at the clock, her eyes were so blurred with tears that she could barely make out the numbers on the clock. “Time of death, 9:14,” she said, lowering her head once again. “I’ll tell the family,” Dr. Weaver said as she threw down her gown and walked out of the room.
Abby didn’t lift her head. Instead she began removing the tubes from the little boy’s mouth and cleaning off the blood spattered all over his forehead. When the room was empty, Carter reached out and touched her on the arm. Abby’s body froze at his touch. She stood frozen with her head turned downward. “You did all that you could, Abby,” Carter said. Abby pulled away from his touch. “He’s just a little boy,” she said. “His life hadn’t even started yet.” John pulled off his gown and threw it into the trash can by the door. “It’ll get better, Abby. I promise,” he said. Abby walked back over to Billy and continued to clean it up. “The nurse will do that,” Carter said as she headed towards the door. Abby spun around and looked up at him. “I am a nurse,” she said. John gave her half a smile as she pushed open the door with his back. “Okay,” he said as he turned to leave. As Abby cleaned up the little boy in front of her, his young body seemed nothing like the brand new babies she had held in the nursery for so many years. He was battered and broken. And as much as Abby wished she could, she would never, ever be able to fix him.
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Post by Caffy on Jul 5, 2006 6:59:41 GMT 10
Woooooooow... ;D
Your writing is amazingness I adore you story
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Post by xthing1x on Jul 5, 2006 7:22:08 GMT 10
All right, not that I don't love your story, because I do -- it's beautifully written and the plot is superb -- but I just can't help nitpicking sometimes.
It's only a minor problem, and you don't even have to change it, but I thought I ought to let you know. Abby isn't a first-year resident until she leaves med school. First-year residents are typically called Interns, as I'm sure you've heard on the show. Abby, seeing as she's now able to practice medicine in a hospital setting, would be a third-year med student. Lucy, as you mentioned, is one year ahead of Abby and is a fourth-year med student. Had she not been killed off, (and had she matched at County) she would have been an Intern at the beginning of the seventh season. Residents are only those who have graduated Medical School.
Just thought I should point that out. Please don't take this as a flame; I just wanted to make you aware of your mistake. Keep writing, I really, really love this story!
xx Laurie
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Post by zelda on Jul 5, 2006 9:20:59 GMT 10
I don't agree at all with you,xthing1x, I'm sorry! I love these fics because all these writers take the time to make us dream, react, laugh and cry about our fav. characters of our fav series. And the MAGICAL aspect is what, you, authors give to us. Each has a different style, a different sensitivity, a different personality. And because it is FICTIONAL, all stories are great as long as they are sincere and emotional. This is not a medical review, and I don't care if some details about the hierarchy among doctors is not true-to-life. Rnintraining, I have loved these chapters because your description of Abby's abortion is heartbreaking, like her low self-esteem on her first day in the ER.It's very moving.
Sorry, everybody for this long speech. And, xthing1x, sorry if I hurt your feelings, I never meant to be rude.
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rnintraining513
Duchess of Luby
"I don't need a ring or a white dress to tell you how much I love you."
Posts: 322
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Post by rnintraining513 on Jul 5, 2006 9:26:15 GMT 10
All right, not that I don't love your story, because I do -- it's beautifully written and the plot is superb -- but I just can't help nitpicking sometimes. It's only a minor problem, and you don't even have to change it, but I thought I ought to let you know. Abby isn't a first-year resident until she leaves med school. First-year residents are typically called Interns, as I'm sure you've heard on the show. Abby, seeing as she's now able to practice medicine in a hospital setting, would be a third-year med student. Lucy, as you mentioned, is one year ahead of Abby and is a fourth-year med student. Had she not been killed off, (and had she matched at County) she would have been an Intern at the beginning of the seventh season. Residents are only those who have graduated Medical School. Just thought I should point that out. Please don't take this as a flame; I just wanted to make you aware of your mistake. Keep writing, I really, really love this story! xx Laurie That's okay. I actually realized that I made the mistake with Abby's "title" right after I posted the message. I've been spitting the chapters out pretty quickly and working a lot so I am exhausted. Also, I am half way through nursing school. I just got the basics of the different nursing licenses down...I haven't mastered medical school yet. And besides, my story is simply a fanfiction. I try to make it as "true to life" as possible...but being that it is my own story...I decided to make Abby and Lucy in the same year...I intended to build off of that later in the story...
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rnintraining513
Duchess of Luby
"I don't need a ring or a white dress to tell you how much I love you."
Posts: 322
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Post by rnintraining513 on Jul 5, 2006 10:30:08 GMT 10
Chapter 9: “When the Long Day Is Over”
As Abby walked out of the ER and down the street, exhaustion overwhelmed her. But for the first time in all her years in the medical field, it wasn’t her back or her legs that were hurting, instead it was her mind. She was surprised that she had even made it through the week. There was no question about it; this had been one of the longest and most difficult weeks of her life. Without even thinking, Abby walked blindly down the street and through the doors of Doc Magoo’s. She walked towards the bar and pulled up a seat in the corner. The bartender walked over in Abby’s direction. “What can I get you, doll?” He asked. Abby folded her fingers together and glanced up at the bottles of liquor behind the bar. She had all that she could do to not order an ice cold beer. “I’ll have a club soda,” she said. A few seconds later, the bartender returned with Abby’s club soda and placed it in front of her. “Thanks,” she said, handing him a bunched up 5 dollar bill.
Abby fumbled through her purse in search of a lighter as she held her cigarette between her lips. She leaned forward and looked on the other side for light. “Matches?” Abby asked the bartender. He nodded and slid a sleeve of matches in front of her on the bar. “Thanks,” said once again. Just then, someone pulled out the bar stool beside her. Abby spun around to sit Carter by her side. “Hi,” she said simply. “Hi,” he answered. “Long day?” Carter asked, smiling slightly. Abby let out a laugh. “Uh, yeah,” she said spinning around the glass in her hand. “The day never goes quickly when your first patient dies.” The bartender walked over and handed Carter a beer. “That’s not true,” he said. “The day just never goes quickly.” Abby chuckled for a moment and brought the glass of club soda to her lips. She was surprised when Carter held out his bottle of beer in her direction. “A toast,” he said. Abby rolled her eyes. “And what may I ask can we possibly be toasting to?” Carter smiled. “To the end of a really, really long day,” he said. Abby smiled and clinked her glass against Carter’s beer bottle. “Alright, I’ll drink to that,” she said. “But my days not done,” Abby added as she set down her glass. Carter narrowed his eyes at her. “No?” He asked. Abby shook her head. “I’m on again in an hour-as a nurse in OB. At least I won’t screw that up. Well, at least I hope not,” Abby laughed. Carter nodded in response. “Do you ever sleep?” He asked. “Nah,” Abby answered. “I never thought I’d say it, but it’s times like these when I’m actually glad that I’m an insomniac.” Carter shook his head. “We’re all insomniacs,” he answered. “I think it’s part of the job description.”
They sat in silence for a few minutes and Abby nervously began to twirl the wedding ring on her finger. Carter noticed her habit and didn’t hesitate to mention it. “How long have you been married?” He asked. Abby looked down at her hands and then folded them in her lap and out of view. “Oh,” she said. “Umm, I’m not, actually.” Carter looked at her confused. “Then why are you wearing a wedding ring?” He asked. Abby nudged him in the side. “Don’t be such a smart ass,” she said. “It’s complicated.” Carter laughed. “Complicated you say? Well, I’m all ears?” Abby finished up the rest of her club soda in one big gulp and brushed her hair behind her ears. “Well, technically I am still married, at least until the divorce goes through,” she said. Carter nodded. “But, we’ e been married since I was eighteen.” Carter’s eyes opened wide. “Wow, that’s a long time,” he said. Abby’s mouth dropped slightly. “What, are you saying?” She asked. “How old do you think I am?” Carter held up his hand apologetically. “That’s not what I meant,” he said. “I just meant that eighteen is young to get married.” Abby nodded. “What can I say? I was young and stupid and naive. Not to mention I wanted to get the hell away from my mother.” Carter laughed. “How come?” He asked. Abby rolled her eyes and let out a playful groan. “Now that is a whole other can of worms!” She said. “We’ll save that for the next time one of my patients dies!”
Carter ran his finger around the mouth of his half-empty beer bottle. “So what about you?” Abby asked. “What’s you’re story?” Carter narrowed his eyes. “How do you mean?” He asked. Abby sighed. “What’s up with you and Lucy?” She asked. “I may be a terrible medical student, but I’m not that dumb.” Carter laughed. “It’s complicated,” he said as he chugged the remainder of his beer. Carter waved his hand and the bartender walked over towards him. “Can I get another?” Carter asked, waving his empty bottle. “Abby, can I get you something?” Abby shook her head. “No thanks,” she said. “I’m not much of a drinker.” Carter scratched the back of his head. “That’ll change now that you’re in the ER,” he said. Abby shook her head and stood up from her bar stool. “I don’t think so,” she said simply. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” She asked as she lifted the strap of her purse onto her shoulder. Carter nodded and quickly stood up. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said. As Abby headed towards the dark, Carter called out to her. “Oh, and Abby,” he began. “Tomorrow is a brand new day.” Abby nodded her head as a brief smile crossed her lips. “Thank God for that,” she said and then she turned and walked out of the bar.
The sky was still dark when Abby’s shift in OB ended. She walked out into the chilly, early morning air and lit up a cigarette. From her view on the roof by the ambulance bay, Abby looked down at the dark city below her. She felt small and lost as she stood there and glanced around at the big city lying before her eyes. Once she had finished smoking her cigerette, she walked through the sliding doors of County General once more. As she stood on the elevator, she closed her eyes and leaned her head against the cold wall. Abby was so exhausted that she didn’t even notice the doors of the elevator open and Dr. Weaver walk in. “Dr. Lockhart,” Kerry called, but Abby didn’t budge. Kerry limped over and nudged Abby on the arm. “Dr. Lockhart, getting to work this early isn’t just brown-nosing, it’s actually insane.” Abby yawned and rubbed her tired eyes. “Don’t worry,” Abby said. “I’m a little too old for brown-nosing.” Dr. Weaver laughed as they continued to ride the elevator.
Abby crossed her arms across her chest and stood up straight once more, then Dr. Weaver opened her mouth to speak. “Abby, I want to apologize for yesterday,” she said. “I was out of line. It was just your first day and that boy had so much bleeding and was so edematous that even sticking him with an insulin syringe would have been impossible.” Abby’s lips straightened into a tight line across her face and then she shook her head. “That’s no excuse,” Abby said. “I should have been able to start the line. I’ve seen it done a million times.” Dr. Weaver’s glare met Abby’s. “Seeing it and doing it are two different things,” she said. “You are a third year medical student. Just because you’ve been a nurse doesn’t make you any different then anyone else. You are still a student and you are entitled to make mistakes.” Abby nodded. “I just wish my mistakes didn’t result in the death of an 8 year-old boy,” Abby said. Dr. Weaver reached out and grabbed Abby’s forearm. “His injuries were fatal, Abby,” she said. “He had a massive brain bleed.” The elevator doors opened and Dr. Weaver walked out and Abby followed close behind. “Blaming yourself and getting attached doesn’t make the day go any faster. If you let every patient get to you like that, your years as an intern are going to be a living hell. I know that you are a nurse at heart, but as emergency room doctors, we see so much death and sadness every day. If we let it all in, none of us would be able to do our job. You’re a doctor now, Abby. Just keep that in mind.” Dr. Weaver turned and headed towards the desk. “You off to get some sleep?” She asked. Abby nodded. “Yeah, I’m going to try to sleep in the lounge for a few hours.” Kerry nodded her head. “You get some rest,” she said. “You’ll feel a lot better in the morning.” Abby forced a smile and turned to walk towards the lounge. She didn’t take the time or energy to slip off her shoes before she climbed into the bed. Completely exhausted, Abby fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillow. And for the first time in years, she slept straight through the night.
“The Long Day Is Over”
Feeling tired By the fire The long day is over
The wind is gone Asleep at dawn The embers burn on
With no reprise The sun will rise The long day is over
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Post by Andy on Jul 5, 2006 12:02:33 GMT 10
Great! Oh God, if Lucy is alive DON'T let her die!!! Please!
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Post by larue on Jul 5, 2006 12:36:05 GMT 10
NICE, nice job. I agree.....Abby's mental state is very aptly described.
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rnintraining513
Duchess of Luby
"I don't need a ring or a white dress to tell you how much I love you."
Posts: 322
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Post by rnintraining513 on Jul 5, 2006 12:59:24 GMT 10
Chapter 10: “A Sight For Sore Eyes”
The jolly beat of Abby’s cell phone alarm pulled her from a deep, relaxing sleep. She woke up refreshed and early enough to have time to walk over to the cart across the street for a quick cup of coffee. She was glad that she had decided to sleep at the hospital. She was already dressed with the exception of her lab coat, so she had a few minutes to get herself together. She walked over to her locker and sighed. “This damn thing,” she mumbled and she slapped her fist against the top of the locker and then kicked the bottom with the tip of her foot. “Ouch!” She yelled as a sharp pain shot up her big toe. She continued to fight with the locker or a few more minutes, ramming the weight of her body into it before she finally slumped against it exhausted.
A few seconds later, Lucy walked into the lounge, a happy grin on her face and two cups of coffee in her hand. She extended both hands to Abby. “Here, take these and let me help you,” Lucy said. Abby reached out and grabbed the two, warms cups of coffee with both of her hands. “Good luck,” she said, nodding towards the locker. “It’s a royal pain in the ass.” Abby watched in amazement as Lucy punched and kicked the locker in one, smooth motion and it popped open. “You’re going to have to teach me that one,” Abby said, handing both cups of coffee back to Lucy. She took the cup of coffee from Abby’s left hand and pushed the other cup towards Abby. “I got here a little early this morning and I saw you passed out in here,” Lucy said. “Carter told me about your double shift and I thought you could use a little ‘pick me up.’” Abby nodded and smiled. “Thanks,” she said. “For the locker and the coffee.” Lucy nodded. “No problem,” she said. “Ready for another fun-filled day at County?” Lucy asked. Abby shrugged. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready,” she laughed. “Me either,” Lucy answered.
Abby was pleased with the start of her second day as a medical student at County. “Dr. Lockhart, I’ve got an 8-year-old, male with a facial abrasion in trauma one that has your name written all over it,” Dr. Greene said as he handed Abby the boy’s chart. “Okay,” she answered as she headed in the direction of the room. She was relieved when she walked into the room and found a calm little boy with only a small gash in his chin and a bruise just above the eye. Abby glanced down at the chart and read the little boy’s name. “Hi, Eduardo, I’m Dr. Lockhart,” she said. “I’m going to get you all fixed up,” she said. Eduardo nodded his head. “How’d you hurt yourself?” She asked. “I fell off the monkey bars and hit a metal bar,” Eduardo answered. “Well, you’re very brave,” she said to the little boy. He nodded his head proudly. “I know,” he said. Abby chuckled and smile up at Haleh and Carol. “Where’s the parents?” Abby asked. Carol nodded her head towards the lounge. “Just the mother,” she said. “She’s got a crying baby and a weak stomach.” Abby nodded her head. “Okay, well I’m going to need a suture kit and could you have them do a facial scan? Once I’m finished with suturing, I’ll page the oral surgeon.” Carol nodded. “Sure,” she said, jotting the order down onto a piece of paper. “Thanks,” Abby said. “I’ll get the suture kit and help you, Dr. Lockhart,” Haleh said, walking towards the supply cart in the corner of the trauma room. “Okay,” Abby said. “And you can call me Abby.” Haleh smiled at Abby. “I guess it’s just a force of habit,” she said. “I know what you mean,” Abby said. “I’ve been calling everyone doctor for the last 13 years.”
By the time Abby finished suturing Eduardo, his facial scans had come back. Carol handed them to her and Abby placed them on the x-ray machine to take a look. “Everything looks fine,” Abby said. “I’ll just page the oral surgeon to come down and do and take a lot for the follow-up oral care. Abby walked to the phone and dialed the extension. “I’d like to speak to oral surgery,” she said. “I have an 8-year-old with a tooth displacement.” Abby rolled her eyes. “Sure, I can hold,” she said. As she let the phone roll down and rest on her shoulder, an unfamiliar face walked into the trauma room. Abby’s eyes followed the tall, dark-haired doctor as he walked over the Eduardo’s bedside. She almost forgot she was still on the phone until she heard the screaming of someone on the other end. “Thank you,” she said as she banged down the phone. Abby walked over and stood in front of the x-rays and directly behind the adorable doctor as she waited for him to finish his conversation with Carol. It was then that she noticed his accent. What was it? She weighed the options as she waited for the pair to stop talking.
From the corner of her curious eye, Abby saw the handsome doctor turn in her direction. She continued to face the films but took in the doctor’s face for the first time. “How do things look?” He asked, his eyes meeting Abby’s for the first time. Abby tried to hold the obvious smile from completely taking over her face. “His facial films are clear and I paged an oral surgeon to come down here and take a look,” she said. Abby watched as the doctor calmly folded his arms behind his back and glanced down warmly at Abby. “Luka, do you want me to update his tetanus?” Carol asked. “He had one a year ago,” Abby chimed in. Carol and Haleh looked back and forth from Luka to Abby. “Uh, guess not then,” he said. “By the way, I’m Luka Kovac,” Luka said as he extended his arm to Abby. “Abby Lockhart, I’m a third year,” she said, shaking his hand. “Another new resident in the middle of the year?” Luka asked, a smile coming to his face. Abby fumbled with her stethoscope and the collar of her jacket as she smiled back it him. She looked away for a moment, trying not to get swept away instantly in his charming smile. “Well, I’m a medical student,so,” Abby said. “Oh,” Luka answered, still smiling. “Another half gram of Ancef?” Carol asked. “Uh, Abby?” Dr. Kovac asked. “Uh, sure, sounds good,” Abby said to Carol. “Okay, nice job,” Luka said, smiling at Abby as he walked towards the door.
Abby followed him with her eyes until he was out of sight. “Well, we never had doctors like that up in OB,” Abby said, pulling a small notebook from her pocket. “Easy on the eyes, isn’t he?” Haleh asked. “I’ll say,” Abby answered. “Is he single?” Abby asked. “He doesn’t talk about his personal life,” Carol answered as she drew medication into a syringe. “Oh. Talk, dark, handsome and mysterious, huh?” Abby asked as she began cleaning up the supplies from the gurney. “Uh, what are you doing?” Carol asked. “I’m cleaning up,” Abby answered. “Oh, don’t worry, I got it,” Carol said. Abby continued to clean. “Don’t be silly, I’ve got it.” “No really, I’ve got it,” Carol answered. “Okay,” Abby said, finally walking away from the table. Abby turned around once more as she reached the door. “Carol,” she called. “I’d love to see some pictures of your girls later.” “Sure,” Carol answered. Abby nodding and smiling, walked away.
A smile came to Abby’s face when she saw Dr. Kovac standing at the front desk. She folded her arms across the chart she held to her chest and walked towards him. “Thanks for taking a look at Eduardo for me, Dr. Kovac” Abby said, breaking the ice. “No problem,” Luka said. “You did a good job. And call me Luka.” Abby smiled and nodded. “Thank you,” she said. “Luka Kovac,” Abby repeated. “What nationality is that?” Luka smiled. “Croatian,” he answered. “I’m from Croatia.” Abby nodded and smiled. “If I may ask, how the hell did you end up at County?” Luka laughed. “Let’s just say I needed to get away. Far, far away,” he answered. “Abby nodded. “I know that feeling all too well,” she said.
Dr. Kovac put the chart he was writing in back into the file. “I was just about to go to the lounge and grab a cup of coffee, want to come with?” He asked. Abby nodded. “I can never say no to coffee,” Abby said as she followed him down the hallway. “I’m surprised I didn’t see you yesterday,” Abby said. “But I guess it was a pretty crazy first day.” Luka nodded. “I saw you shadowing Carter, but I didn’t get a chance to introduce myself. Then I saw you this morning in the lounge, but I thought I’d be better off letting you sleep.” Abby felt her face turn red and she looked down at the ground embarrassed. “You saw me sleeping?” She asked. Luke ran his hands through his hair and smiled. “I came in to make a phone call and I saw you sleeping, so I left,” he said. “I didn’t want to disturb you.” Abby smiled. “Thanks,” she said. “I am totally embarrassed right now. I hope I wasn’t snoring or drooling in my sleep.” Luka laughed. “Do you normally snore and drool?” He asked, holding in a smile. “Well, no,” Abby said. “You know what? I think I’m just going to shut up right now before I humiliate myself anymore.” Luka shook his head. “Don’t be embarrassed,” he said. “The way you sleep is interesting. You remind me of those little bugs that are in the dirt and curl up into a ball when you touch them.” Abby’s eyes widened. “I remind you of a bug?” She asked, putting her head to her forehead in a desperate attempt to cover her embarrassment. Luka shook his head and held out his and put it on Abby’s arm. The instant her touched her, Abby felt a chill run up and down her spine. “In a cute way,” he added, smiling down at her. “A cute bug.”
Abby covered her face with her hands. “I’m never sleeping in here again!” She said, plopping down on a chair in the lounge. Luka sat down across from her. “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “I won’t tell anyone that you sleep like a ball-bug.” Abby slumped back in her chair. “I think they call them rollie-pollies.” Abby added. Luka nodded. “I’ll try to remember that,” he said with a smile. “Are you ever going to let me live this down?” Abby asked. Luka crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. “Maybe once you’re a resident,” he said, laughing. Abby rolled her eyes. “You’ll pay, Luka Kovac you evil, Croatian resident.” Luka’s eyes opened wide. “I’m just kidding!” Abby said. “I’m just kidding!” Luka grabbed his plastic coffee cup in his hand and held it out to Abby. “Let’s toast to it,” he said. “What?” Abby asked, confused. “You know, so that I officially promise that I won’t ever tell anyone,” he said. “You mean shake on it?” She asked, extending her hand. He looked at her with a puzzled look on his face. The way his eyes narrowed and his lips scrunched together made him absolutely adorable. “Nevermind,” she said as she lifted her glass and tapped it against Luka’s. “I’m holding you to your toast!” Abby said with a laugh. Luka smiled. “Just between the two of us, okay?” She asked. Luka nodded as he tapped her cup once again. “I’d like that,” he said.
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