Post by bostongirl on Oct 7, 2006 4:01:50 GMT 10
this update made my cry while I was writting it down....my boyfriend must have thought I'm going crazy.
3 day’s later.
The funeral.
Yesterday Luka and I visited Neela and John. Neela was shocked and didn’t know how to handle so she just grabbed Luka and told him that he was the main part in Abby her decision. She was true in a way but this was just to hard.
John, he broke down and we cried with the three of us until Lucy entered. Also she was shocked and couldn’t find the right words to comfort.
Right now, my house is full of people who loved her. Eric hides himself with the girls upstairs watching a movie. Luka is sitting in the chair nodding at everyone who passes him. Chuck is there to make coffee and make sure everyone will be there when we go to the cemetery.
It’s a bright sunny day in March. Spring is on his way, her favorite season of the year. Maybe that’s why she waited so long.
Luka, Chuck, John, Pratt, Morris and Eric carry her coffin and we walk behind them. In one hand I have Susen’s little hand and the other has Abigail’s hand. Both girls are dressed in a dark blue dress with strains in their hair.
‘We are gathered here to say farewell and remember the loss of Dr. Abigail Kovac. Dr. Susan Lewis will talk and inform you who Abby was and what she meant for most people.’ The funeral director winks at me.
Slowly I walk forward. Finding some peace to talk.
‘Family and friends. We are here to give our last meaning to Abby and to give Luka and their daughter Susen the comfort they need.
Abby was a nurse when I met her. One of a kind. Always there for her patients and colleagues. When you needed to talk, she was there to listen. When you needed to be held, she was there to hold you.
She was the bright little spark in our ER, she could pull you in to her world without saying one word. When she smiled you couldn’t rejected it to smile with her. We watch her grow as a nurse and as a doctor.
We all know how much she had been trough in her childhood and her late teens. We helped her and listened to her when she allowed us. But she wasn’t a speaker, she thought we would get bored if she spread her heart out.
She never knew that we all loved her as much as she loved us.
We witnessed the love between Abby and Luka grow. We were their when the promised each other their love for ever. We were happy for them when Abby deliverd a beautiful baby girl.
I know that Abby never would hurt her baby girl, a reason why she made this decision. I was their with Abby on her last couple of days. She wasn’t the Abby any longer we all loved and worshipped.
The first thing I told her when she became a friend was: Abby, heaven is missing an angel. Now heaven took the angel back.’
I clear me throat knowing the hard part will come now. I cross eyes with Chuck and he gives me air kiss.
First, the music starts playing. Luka picked this one, it’s Angel’s Flying from the Kelly Family. He picked it for Susen cause Abby wrote in her letter that she was her angel now.
It’s my turn again. I take a deep breath and continue.
‘I wrote two poems for Abby after we lost her. I’ll hope you all can find some comfort in them. Some peace or maybe a little bit of her.
Right up...,
In the clear sky above.
You fly...,
With the wings of a dove.
You dance...,
With the angels up there.
And spread...,
All you love everywhere.
I dream...,
Of you there, with delight.
And keep...,
all my memories real tight.
In my heart...,
You are so very living.
Because you...,
where so caring and giving.’
I take a few minutes to let it flow and make myself find the peace to read the other one.
‘Goodbyes are never easy,
goodbyes are always sad.
Goodbye to the one you love,
and the once that hurt so bad.
Goodbyes are not forever,
just distance in between.
Goodbye will make the heart grow fond,
that's what they say it seems.
Goodbye is a word,
one never wants to use, or heard.
Goodbye is always followed by,
once sadness then by tears.
Goodbye will make you stronger,
to whom we are inside.
Goodbye will make one realize,
feelings we just can't hide.
Goodbye, I say to you,
but this only means one thing.
Goodbye is not forever,
for in my heart you'll always remain.’
Tears are rolling down my face when our song starts, My one true friend from Bette Midler. She always told me that that song had to be played at her funeral. I told her the same thing. So right now I hear the song too soon.
We see coffin go down into the earth. We drop a yellow rose and Susen throws in a photo of her. “Now she can remember how I looked like.” She tells me when I look into her bright blue eyes.
Lyrics: Kelly Family - Angel's flying.
I Can't Hold My Tears Now
I Can't Hold Them Back
Maybe She'll Come Back
Come Back To Me
Those Beautiful Eyes
Those Beautiful Smiles
They're Like Sugar And Honey
I Was Wrong She Was Right
You Are An Angel
You Are An Angel
Chorus:
If You See, Angels Flying
Wave Goodbye
If You See, Angels Flying
Wave Goodbye
Can't Hold My Tears Back
We're Too Far Apart
Maybe She'll Come Back
Come Back To Me
Those Beautiful Eyes
Those Beautiful Smiles
They're Like Sugar And Honey
I Was Lost Now I'm Found
Please Forgive Me
You Are An Angel
Bette Midler - My one true friend.
And now, is it too late to say
How you made my life so different in your quiet way?
I can see the joy in simple things,
a sunlit sky and all the songs we used to sing.
I have walked and I have I prayed.
I could forgive and we could start again.
In the end,
you are my one true friend.
For all, all the times you closed your eyes,
allowing me to stumble or to be surprised,
by life, with all its twists and turns.
I made mistakes, you always knew that I would learn.
And when I left, it's you who stayed.
You always knew that I'd come home again.
In the end,
you are my one true friend.
Though love may break, it never dies.
It changes shape, through changing eyes.
What I denied, I now can see.
You always were the light inside of me.
I know, I know, I know, I know it was you.
I have walked and I have I prayed.
I could forgive and we could start again.
In the end, you are my one true friend.
My one true friend.
I always, always knew,
I always knew that it was you,
my one true friend.
3 day’s later.
The funeral.
Yesterday Luka and I visited Neela and John. Neela was shocked and didn’t know how to handle so she just grabbed Luka and told him that he was the main part in Abby her decision. She was true in a way but this was just to hard.
John, he broke down and we cried with the three of us until Lucy entered. Also she was shocked and couldn’t find the right words to comfort.
Right now, my house is full of people who loved her. Eric hides himself with the girls upstairs watching a movie. Luka is sitting in the chair nodding at everyone who passes him. Chuck is there to make coffee and make sure everyone will be there when we go to the cemetery.
It’s a bright sunny day in March. Spring is on his way, her favorite season of the year. Maybe that’s why she waited so long.
Luka, Chuck, John, Pratt, Morris and Eric carry her coffin and we walk behind them. In one hand I have Susen’s little hand and the other has Abigail’s hand. Both girls are dressed in a dark blue dress with strains in their hair.
‘We are gathered here to say farewell and remember the loss of Dr. Abigail Kovac. Dr. Susan Lewis will talk and inform you who Abby was and what she meant for most people.’ The funeral director winks at me.
Slowly I walk forward. Finding some peace to talk.
‘Family and friends. We are here to give our last meaning to Abby and to give Luka and their daughter Susen the comfort they need.
Abby was a nurse when I met her. One of a kind. Always there for her patients and colleagues. When you needed to talk, she was there to listen. When you needed to be held, she was there to hold you.
She was the bright little spark in our ER, she could pull you in to her world without saying one word. When she smiled you couldn’t rejected it to smile with her. We watch her grow as a nurse and as a doctor.
We all know how much she had been trough in her childhood and her late teens. We helped her and listened to her when she allowed us. But she wasn’t a speaker, she thought we would get bored if she spread her heart out.
She never knew that we all loved her as much as she loved us.
We witnessed the love between Abby and Luka grow. We were their when the promised each other their love for ever. We were happy for them when Abby deliverd a beautiful baby girl.
I know that Abby never would hurt her baby girl, a reason why she made this decision. I was their with Abby on her last couple of days. She wasn’t the Abby any longer we all loved and worshipped.
The first thing I told her when she became a friend was: Abby, heaven is missing an angel. Now heaven took the angel back.’
I clear me throat knowing the hard part will come now. I cross eyes with Chuck and he gives me air kiss.
First, the music starts playing. Luka picked this one, it’s Angel’s Flying from the Kelly Family. He picked it for Susen cause Abby wrote in her letter that she was her angel now.
It’s my turn again. I take a deep breath and continue.
‘I wrote two poems for Abby after we lost her. I’ll hope you all can find some comfort in them. Some peace or maybe a little bit of her.
Right up...,
In the clear sky above.
You fly...,
With the wings of a dove.
You dance...,
With the angels up there.
And spread...,
All you love everywhere.
I dream...,
Of you there, with delight.
And keep...,
all my memories real tight.
In my heart...,
You are so very living.
Because you...,
where so caring and giving.’
I take a few minutes to let it flow and make myself find the peace to read the other one.
‘Goodbyes are never easy,
goodbyes are always sad.
Goodbye to the one you love,
and the once that hurt so bad.
Goodbyes are not forever,
just distance in between.
Goodbye will make the heart grow fond,
that's what they say it seems.
Goodbye is a word,
one never wants to use, or heard.
Goodbye is always followed by,
once sadness then by tears.
Goodbye will make you stronger,
to whom we are inside.
Goodbye will make one realize,
feelings we just can't hide.
Goodbye, I say to you,
but this only means one thing.
Goodbye is not forever,
for in my heart you'll always remain.’
Tears are rolling down my face when our song starts, My one true friend from Bette Midler. She always told me that that song had to be played at her funeral. I told her the same thing. So right now I hear the song too soon.
We see coffin go down into the earth. We drop a yellow rose and Susen throws in a photo of her. “Now she can remember how I looked like.” She tells me when I look into her bright blue eyes.
Lyrics: Kelly Family - Angel's flying.
I Can't Hold My Tears Now
I Can't Hold Them Back
Maybe She'll Come Back
Come Back To Me
Those Beautiful Eyes
Those Beautiful Smiles
They're Like Sugar And Honey
I Was Wrong She Was Right
You Are An Angel
You Are An Angel
Chorus:
If You See, Angels Flying
Wave Goodbye
If You See, Angels Flying
Wave Goodbye
Can't Hold My Tears Back
We're Too Far Apart
Maybe She'll Come Back
Come Back To Me
Those Beautiful Eyes
Those Beautiful Smiles
They're Like Sugar And Honey
I Was Lost Now I'm Found
Please Forgive Me
You Are An Angel
Bette Midler - My one true friend.
And now, is it too late to say
How you made my life so different in your quiet way?
I can see the joy in simple things,
a sunlit sky and all the songs we used to sing.
I have walked and I have I prayed.
I could forgive and we could start again.
In the end,
you are my one true friend.
For all, all the times you closed your eyes,
allowing me to stumble or to be surprised,
by life, with all its twists and turns.
I made mistakes, you always knew that I would learn.
And when I left, it's you who stayed.
You always knew that I'd come home again.
In the end,
you are my one true friend.
Though love may break, it never dies.
It changes shape, through changing eyes.
What I denied, I now can see.
You always were the light inside of me.
I know, I know, I know, I know it was you.
I have walked and I have I prayed.
I could forgive and we could start again.
In the end, you are my one true friend.
My one true friend.
I always, always knew,
I always knew that it was you,
my one true friend.