When you need me...What if?
Part 1
Richard.I stagger up to the roof I know that's where she is "Abby...baby girl" I knew it "I knew you would be here you and your nasty habit!" I pull the dirty cigarette from her hand throwing it I grip her hand tightly watching as she makes faces.
“Your drunk! You’re about to go on shift and probable operate on someone and your drunk you just can't Richard."
The silly little bitch thinks she's clever does she? “I told you to watch your mouth didn’t I? Didn’t I?” I scream in her face letting go of her hand I grab her by the face “You never f**king listen do you?” I push her against the wall “you have to keep f**king going on and on and on" she's like a broken record! "When will you learn to just f**king shut up” I pull her away from the wall slamming her back she bounces off the wall and onto the ground, I hope it hurt it's the least she deserves she knows what pisses me off and yet she still does it until I crack then she wonders why I hit her “get your ass back down stairs and keep it shut!” I warn her and yet again i'm left wonder why I married her it still keeps me guessing.
Abby.“Get your ass back down stairs and keep it shut!”
I pick myself up off the ground and run towards the door waiting until the roof door closes before bursting into tears I won’t let him see me cry it makes him worse he thinks he's god's gift to women.
Richard and I have been together for ten years, married for nine the first four years were good just like any other marriage but the last six well it's like this if not worse day after day it never changes.
We both work here at county hospital in Chicago he is a top surgeon and I'm a Doctor in the ER everyone thinks were the perfect couple but in truth it's far from that in fact the only good thing is Katie, she is my 6 year old little girl and the reason I stay with Richard i'm so scared of what he would do if he knew the truth.
Luka.I hate the night shift I end up drinking far to much coffee I’d rather just work days at least then I’m busy all day far to busy to sit and drink cup after cup of tar.
If I worked more days I’d also get to see Abby, Abby Lockhart wife of top surgeon and my closest friend I love seeing her just watching her smile makes my day better but she only works days, she has done since she had Katie 6 years ago.
I slide my mug along the desk picking my pager up I head to the lounge “I’m going in the lounge Jerry beep me if anything good comes in?” I see him glance up from his game of solitaire.
“Sure whatever you say boss!”
Walking into the lounge I crash into the couch laying on something I pull it from under my back “Life? what’s your's about?” it's a book.
Laughing as I lay back down it makes me think what is my life about? well boring is one word for it I mean it consists of this place all I do is work to keep myself busy so I don't have to face the truth when in truth I’m a lonely 39 year old loser that lives in a 4 bedroom house and I’ve been single for the last 6 years.
Katie.“Nana why do mommy and daddy fight?”
I love my daddy but he is really horrible to my mommy, I hear her crying all the time and daddy gets drunk alot and screams at her it makes me sad.
“Honey people in love fight sometimes!”
Nana kisses my head and leaves I don’t like it when I come here I hate leaving mommy and been here means she is alone all weekend.
I remember this one time I went to kitchen to give mommy a hug because I heard daddy shouting at her but when I squeezed her It hurt her stomach and it made her cry I don’t like it when mommy cries it makes me sad.
Part 2
Richard.I need a drink I’m so sick of this f**king day I just want to go home chill out and have a few beers follow by some good sex.
“Hi daddy.”
What is she still doing up “Abby! why is Katie still up?” I look around the lounge but i can't see her.
“She’s in the kitchen daddy.”
I storm into the kitchen and see her on that damn phone again she’s smiling and laughing, “who the f**k are you talking to at this time?” I ask looking at my watch it's almost nine.
Walking across the room I pull the phone away from her ear and check the caller I.D I see its Kovac and decide he needs tell again “How many times buddy? get your own wife” I tell him before hanging up.
“What are you doing?”
I slam the phone on the table “I don’t like you talking to him, he needs to get a life of his own” I tell her as she starts to back away from me I hate it when she does that “Katie bed now!” I yell into the lounge.
“She wanted to wait up for you, she got an prize for her art picture.”
I don’t f**king care about a stupid art picture “why do I care? she should be in bed Abby i have needs which means she needs to be alseep” I walk into the lounge “nice picture Kate now bed!” I pick it up and fling it in the trash “I need a word with mommy” I push her up the stairs, for a daughter of two doctors she’s so slow sometimes.
“Are you going to shout at mommy?”
This kids has far to much of Abby in her “mind your own business kid I think I said bed didn’t I?” she nods but I watch her walk up the stairs and round the hallway before going back into the kitchen.
Abby.He comes storming into the kitchen pushing pots and pans on the floor until he reaches me “Richard don’t please” I beg him but it's pointless he wraps his hands aroud my neck pinning me to the wall then moving his hands he grips each arm banging me onto the wall repeatedly.
“Please? damn it women your pathetic! now I want you to stay away from him got it?”
He pushes harder with each word the picture frame on the wall is pushing into my back causing me to cry out in pain “I’m sorry” I tell him "I'm so sorry Richard" hoping it’s enough to make him let go.
“All I wanted was to come home have a quiet beer and I get this when are you going to learn bitch!”
He slams his fist into my stomach “Richard please” I cry his name the force of his punch caused me to fall on the floor “I’m sorry” I cry holding my stomach he never hits me where people can see.
He walks away punching, kicking and pushing things around the kitchen before walking back towards me he stops in the middle of the room kneeling down he grab's my ankel and pulls me across the floor towards him.
“I just wish you would learn you never do baby, you make me do this.”
He pushes a strand of hair behind my ear away from my face his hand falls onto my shoulder down my arm and across to my chest “Richard please” his hands are touching me I hate this I hate him “please don’t” I beg tonight is no different then the last 6 months we fight he hits me then this.
“Come on baby, make me happy how better to make up then sex.”
I sniffle tears back shaking me head no I don’t want to I haven’t want him to touch me let alone sleep with him for years but then I think of Katie and I’m just to scared i'll let him do anything and keep quiet just so he doesn't hurt her but the last six months it's got worse he will hit me them rape me no matter how hard I cry and beg him to stop he never does.
“Shhh don't cry baby girl you know you want this.”
He pulls me closer pushing me down on the floor as he covers my body with his “Richard please, please don’t not tonight please” I cry repeating myself over and over hoping tonight will be different.
His eyes are dead emotionless he doesn't care he pulls at my jeans just enough so he can get access without effort.
As he enters me I stop speaking I close my eyes thight and think of Katie my beautiful baby she’s the only thing thats keeping me here I have to stay taking this so he hits me not her I could never let him hurt her and if he knew the truth he'd have nothing to lose.
“Put some f**king effort into it next time Abby and eat something your so thin I might break you next time it's not sexy!”
He hits my leg getting off now he's finished it never has lasts long thank god but the memory sticks in my head night after night and I go to bed shaking and brusied replaying it.