Post by hollygirl on Jul 14, 2006 10:36:30 GMT 10
this might be a one shot...not sure yet...we'll see how it goes...and how you guys like it.
Undiscovered
Take it back, take it all back now
The things I gave
Like the taste of my kiss on your lips
I miss that now
I can't try any harder than I do
All the reasons I gave, excuses I made for you
I'm broken in two
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me empty and left to wonder
I need you
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me waiting and left to wonder
I need you
Yeah, I need you
Don't walk away
I kissed him in the ambulance bay...thats how this mess started. I loved him! I still do! how come he just didn't drop it....why did he keep saying crap...he knew I was pissed and yet he kept running his mouth....like he was doing it on purphas...His words are still lingering in my head..."Your not that pretty, your not that special." BULLSHIT!!! He told me I was beautiful...everyday of my pathetic life...even if I looked like crap...I was still beautiful to him. How am I going to face him tomorrow? Luckily I have had 3 days off since our fight and break up...I haven't been out of bed since...I haven't eaten...and I haven't really slept either...All I do is stare into space and cry... I wanted to scream at him, I wanted to say "Come back! No, I didn't really mean to say that!" how could I have been so stupid. "Your Married to a ghost! god I'm a bitch. "Why Don't you just break up with me then?!"...I asked for it!
Touch me now, how I wanna feel something so real
Please remind me, my love
And take me back
Cause I'm so in love with what we were
I'm not breathing, I'm suffocating without you
Do you feel it too
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me waiting and left to wonder
I need you
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me empty and left to wonder
I need you
Yeah I need you
I love him! I hate him! I'm so confused....I think I have cried every ounce of water out of my body...it was for the best I suppose...I have changed since it began...I'm a different person...and so is he...we stopped talking...I would turn to Carter...he was easier to talk to..but I don't love him...I never have...and I never will...why can't Luka see that...I didn't tell him my problems...how I was feeling because I didn't want to hurt him...I didn't want him to know how horrible I feel inside...the scars aren't visible..but they're there...they're deep...and I don't know if they will ever heal...I wonder what Luka is feeling...does he feel like he did the right thing...saying "I'm done! I'm done ok! carter can have you!" He has never spoken to me that way..or should I say screamed at me....because thats what it was...I feel them coming again...tears...let me run into the bathroom and sit on the edge of the tub...like I did so many times at Luka's...I never wanted him to see me cry. Thats why I walked away so quickly that night...The tears had filled my eyes and as I turned around they streamed down my cheek.
When I'm in the dark and all alone
Dreamin' that you'll walk right through my door
It's there I know my heart is whole
There's a million reasons why I cry
Hold my covers tight and close my eyes
Cause I don't wanna be alone
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me waiting and left to wonder
I need you
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me empty and left to wonder
I need you, I need you
I find myself reaching for the phone...Its like I have no control in what my fingers are doing...they are dialing a number, his number! oh god..what am I doing? Its ringing...please don't pick up! please don't pick up...I'm so nervous...I'm shaking...my chest feels tight...its like I can't breath...I can't hang it up....I don't know why..but I can't put this phone down...thank god he doesn't have caller ID...please don't pick up. oh no...he answered it...I don't speak...I try to control my deep sobs...I don't want him to hear me...just hang it up...just put it down! My brain says yes. But My heart says no...stay on the line "Hello? Is someone there?"
I'm here! I'm here Luka! If your not going to hang up say something! If only my body would react to my thoughts.
Cause I can't fake
And I can't hate
But it's my heart that's about to break
You're all I need
I'm on my knees
Watch me bleed
Would you listen please
I give in
I breathe out
I want you
There's no doubt
I freak out
I'm left out
Without you
I'm without
I'm crossed out
I'm kicked out
I cry out
I reach out
Don't walk away
Don't walk away
Don't walk away
Don't walk away
I'm crying harder...and louder I think he heard me... "Wait...Is this....." Sweet Jesus!...please don't ask if its me! Come on Abby! hang up the damn phone! "Abby?" I click the phone off and pull my knees to my chest...DON'T call back...please don't call back.
Undiscovered
Take it back, take it all back now
The things I gave
Like the taste of my kiss on your lips
I miss that now
I can't try any harder than I do
All the reasons I gave, excuses I made for you
I'm broken in two
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me empty and left to wonder
I need you
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me waiting and left to wonder
I need you
Yeah, I need you
Don't walk away
I kissed him in the ambulance bay...thats how this mess started. I loved him! I still do! how come he just didn't drop it....why did he keep saying crap...he knew I was pissed and yet he kept running his mouth....like he was doing it on purphas...His words are still lingering in my head..."Your not that pretty, your not that special." BULLSHIT!!! He told me I was beautiful...everyday of my pathetic life...even if I looked like crap...I was still beautiful to him. How am I going to face him tomorrow? Luckily I have had 3 days off since our fight and break up...I haven't been out of bed since...I haven't eaten...and I haven't really slept either...All I do is stare into space and cry... I wanted to scream at him, I wanted to say "Come back! No, I didn't really mean to say that!" how could I have been so stupid. "Your Married to a ghost! god I'm a bitch. "Why Don't you just break up with me then?!"...I asked for it!
Touch me now, how I wanna feel something so real
Please remind me, my love
And take me back
Cause I'm so in love with what we were
I'm not breathing, I'm suffocating without you
Do you feel it too
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me waiting and left to wonder
I need you
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me empty and left to wonder
I need you
Yeah I need you
I love him! I hate him! I'm so confused....I think I have cried every ounce of water out of my body...it was for the best I suppose...I have changed since it began...I'm a different person...and so is he...we stopped talking...I would turn to Carter...he was easier to talk to..but I don't love him...I never have...and I never will...why can't Luka see that...I didn't tell him my problems...how I was feeling because I didn't want to hurt him...I didn't want him to know how horrible I feel inside...the scars aren't visible..but they're there...they're deep...and I don't know if they will ever heal...I wonder what Luka is feeling...does he feel like he did the right thing...saying "I'm done! I'm done ok! carter can have you!" He has never spoken to me that way..or should I say screamed at me....because thats what it was...I feel them coming again...tears...let me run into the bathroom and sit on the edge of the tub...like I did so many times at Luka's...I never wanted him to see me cry. Thats why I walked away so quickly that night...The tears had filled my eyes and as I turned around they streamed down my cheek.
When I'm in the dark and all alone
Dreamin' that you'll walk right through my door
It's there I know my heart is whole
There's a million reasons why I cry
Hold my covers tight and close my eyes
Cause I don't wanna be alone
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me waiting and left to wonder
I need you
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me empty and left to wonder
I need you, I need you
I find myself reaching for the phone...Its like I have no control in what my fingers are doing...they are dialing a number, his number! oh god..what am I doing? Its ringing...please don't pick up! please don't pick up...I'm so nervous...I'm shaking...my chest feels tight...its like I can't breath...I can't hang it up....I don't know why..but I can't put this phone down...thank god he doesn't have caller ID...please don't pick up. oh no...he answered it...I don't speak...I try to control my deep sobs...I don't want him to hear me...just hang it up...just put it down! My brain says yes. But My heart says no...stay on the line "Hello? Is someone there?"
I'm here! I'm here Luka! If your not going to hang up say something! If only my body would react to my thoughts.
Cause I can't fake
And I can't hate
But it's my heart that's about to break
You're all I need
I'm on my knees
Watch me bleed
Would you listen please
I give in
I breathe out
I want you
There's no doubt
I freak out
I'm left out
Without you
I'm without
I'm crossed out
I'm kicked out
I cry out
I reach out
Don't walk away
Don't walk away
Don't walk away
Don't walk away
I'm crying harder...and louder I think he heard me... "Wait...Is this....." Sweet Jesus!...please don't ask if its me! Come on Abby! hang up the damn phone! "Abby?" I click the phone off and pull my knees to my chest...DON'T call back...please don't call back.